She shrugs. “I am not a saint. I’ve never lied and said otherwise.”
I can accept this and we can try, or I can refuse to and be done at the end of this week. If I were the good person I pretend to be, I would leave. I would start a new life and find someone normal and mundane to love. The thought leaves me cold.
Really, there’s no choice at all, and that tells me all I need to know. I am just as selfish and complicated as my father. It’s not enough for me to forgive him for all the lies and for him trying to control every part of my life, but a small part of me understands him. The high pedestal he put me on isn’t one I choose. I don’t know where I stand on so many things, because I haven’t had a chance to figure it out for myself. Not while I lived in my father’s gilded cage.
I might as well start now.
I want Ursa. I want her more than I have right to. From the moment I first saw her sitting in the back of that town car, I felt a connection I still can’t quite put into words. It’s stronger than ever now, thrumming between us so blatantly, it’s a wonder I can’t see it disturb the air. But there’s one thing I need to know before I say the words trying to fling themselves from my mouth. “What happened with you and my father?”
She’s silent for a long moment, and I think maybe she won’t tell me. But finally Ursa sighs. “That’s a fair enough question.” She sets her laptop aside. “ I was freshly out of college and very green when I took the position at the shipyard working for Poseidon. Your father was in an identical position and we became friends. He’d worked for the company longer and showed me the ropes.” Her dark gaze is distant, focused on what happened decades in the past. “We were friends.”
Friends.
I don’t know why that surprises me. Of course their enmity flares crueler because there was genuine caring before things went sideways.
Ursa takes a breath and continues. “Several years later, Poseidon’s eldest son came of age and he wanted the boy in one of the positions held by us. We both knew too much about the operations to be fired so he lay down a challenge of sorts. Only one left standing.”
Easy enough to read between the lines. I tense. “So you tried to kill my father.”
She laughs bitterly. “No. I thought we could find another way. I naively assumed Triton felt the same, so when he said he wanted to meet me at the docks after hours, I thought nothing of it. He pulled a gun on me and offered me a choice—a bullet or exile.”
I frown. “That explains why you hate him. It doesn’t explain why he loathes you.”
“Yes, well.” Her lips curve in a self-satisfied smile. “I might not have thought he’d kill me, but I wasn’t a complete fool. I cleaned out several of his secret accounts, the ones he didn’t believe anyone knew about. It was more than enough money to pave my way to Carver City and stage a coup for this territory.”
“Ah. That would do it.” I study her expression, thinking it over. “Would you have killed him if you knew he was willing to be that ruthless?” She’d killed others, after all. It’s how she got her nickname.
She opens her mouth, but pauses. “I don’t know. Maybe. I was very young and much softer than I am now. I don’t believe I had the capacity to pull the trigger on a friend in cold blood.”
“Thank you for telling me.”
“I have to be stronger and more ruthless than other people who hold territory leader positions because of who I am. That won’t change, not as long as I live. But…” Another of those careful pauses, as if she’s arguing with herself. “But I can try to be open with you and Alaric. If you stay.”
I take a deep breath. “If I say I want to stay, what happens then?”
“So cautious.” Her lips quirk, some of the amusement returning to her dark eyes. “Then you stay. We see if we can find a proper balance with the three of us. If it works, then it works. If it doesn’t, then you’re more than capable of walking at any time with my blessing.” She glances over my shoulder, and that’s when I notice that Alaric has gone perfectly still behind me. “But we’re a package deal, darling. If you can’t forgive Alaric for what he’s done, then you shouldn’t be able to forgive me, either.”
I open my mouth, but she presses a finger to my lips. “Don’t decide now. I’ll ask you again at the end of the week. Until then, we’ll enjoy each other.”