She seems to take all the air of out of the room with her when she leaves. I press my hands to my chest, my heart racing so hard, I can feel my pulse through my palms. What was that?
I hadn’t meant to show my hand, but the temper I normally have no problem locking down slips its leash more and more the longer I’m around Malone. I want to blame it on being close to my end goal of putting Malone six feet under, on seeing an opportunity for a “sparring accident.” I’m not so sure that’s the case any longer.
One of things living in the Underworld has taught me is to be honest, even if it’s only to myself.
The honest truth is that I desire Malone with a fervor I’ve never felt before. She’s a fire in my blood, and I used to be able to convince myself that it’s purely rage, but now I have to admit that it’s more nuanced than that. I hate her. I want her. A small, unforgivable part of me even admires her for the sheer strength and ruthlessness she exhibits.
I put my shoes and socks back on and drag myself into the other room. Under normal circumstances, I like running. It soothes me in a similar way that a good scene does—an exercise for both body and mind. Right now, I’m too frazzled to do more than a few miles. I keep circling back to the fight.
She’s better than I am. She might even be better than Allecto. I don’t know why part of me thought she’d let herself go over the years. I’ve looked into the place she came from, and though news out of Sabine Valley is scarce, Alaric originally comes from the same city. His information is years out of date because of how things went down with his cousins, but he gave me the basic rundown. About how the Amazons are one-third of the big movers of that city. About how they, more than the other two, straddle the line of shadows and light. They are CEOs and COOs and the upper tier in all of the companies in their territory. Just like Malone runs her corporation and rules the illegal industries in her territory with an iron fist.
She still moves like a warrior that might have to step onto a battlefield at any moment. She’s so fucking strong, too. Stronger than someone with her lean frame has right to be.
I touch my knuckles. They ache a little from the punch I landed on her face. I’m lucky she didn’t take it as a true attack, just an extension of our sparring.
I… I don’t know if I can beat her in an all-out fight.
I stop the treadmill and go through the motions of stretching. My thoughts whirl in increasingly frantic circles, a tornado of thorns that slice me with every rotation. I don’t know if I can beat her. The whole point of agreeing to these two weeks was finally getting revenge for what she did to my mother, to put Malone in the ground.
The plan felt rock solid when I decided on it. Not even Allecto’s arguments could get through my wall of stubbornness. But two days in, and I’m not sure I can pull it off.
I head back up to the penthouse in a daze. It’s empty, so Malone either didn’t come back here or has already come and gone. It’s just as well. I don’t know what my face is doing right now, and I have no faith that I can keep myself locked down enough to be in her presence.
The cat hisses at me as I walk past, and I hiss right back. “Mind your business and I’ll mind mine.”
A long shower does nothing to settle me. I walk out of the bathroom to find the demon cat sitting in the center of my bed. I eye the door. I must not have shut it all the way. The cat and I stare at each other. What did Malone say its name was? I glare. “Don’t get too comfortable. That’s my bed you’re sleeping on.” At least for the next ten days.
I consider my options for dinner. I’m still a little shocked at how Malone went all out with these clothes. It’s more than the money she must have dropped on it. It’s a cohesive wardrobe with enough options to almost fully replace the one I already own. And they’re all top-of-the-line and in my size.
She must have had an assistant handle that. I have to believe that, because the thought of her handpicking each item with me in mind is too much for me. It makes me feel strange, like my skin is too tight. I don’t like it.
Especially because there isn’t a white garment in the entire closet.