Rory (Savage MC-Tennessee 3)

I guess I hoped my speech would reach him. That he would somehow show me that he was alive in there. I get nothing but the sounds of the equipment that’s keeping him alive.

I get nothing.

I stand up with a sigh and remember one last thing. I’m flying in the dark on this issue, but I need to say it just in case he can hear me… Just in case this helps bring him closure too.

“I don’t know what this Rory means to you, but I promise I’ll protect her too and make sure she’s good and out of King’s reach. She seems like a good woman and you should know she’s been through hell to protect Ryan. I wasn’t there, but there’s an FBI guy involved and he seems to… really admire her. Hell, I think the man might be half in love with her. He’s been trying to help her and he’s told me some of it. You need to know that I’ll keep her safe and see she’s good to live free and without the shadow of King hurting her anymore. So, if you’re worried about her… you don’t have to be.”

Silence.

I rub my jaw and then my chin as I walk to the door. Disappointed I can’t just have a conversation with Diesel… hurting that I can’t just laugh and shoot the shit with him… even if it’s one more time. Pissed off that I’m making decisions a brother never wants to make about one of his own and hating that I can’t just fix it all.

“Love you brother. You know that, too, I guess. But, I never said it and I need to even if you can’t hear me, man. Only been a handful of people in my life I’d die for. Right now, I’d fucking take your place if I could.”

With those words I leave the room. I walk out and I go through to the waiting room. I do that not looking at Gun or Rebel.

“Crush?” I hear one of them ask and I’m not even sure which.

“Going to get some coffee,” I growl, my voice hoarse with unshed tears and sadness so deep it will never leave me.

Fuck.15Rory“Am I really going to get to talk to Daddy?” Ryan asks for like the hundredth time. I grin just like I have every single time so far. I love that he’s so happy. I can’t begin to explain what I am feeling. Noah is alive. We didn’t end with a good note. He thinks I’m a liar… or a cheater… I guess technically both. He broke my heart and I’m done with letting men hurt me. I was done before but after the hell Ryan and I have lived through I’m really done. I’ll never let myself get put in that position again. I’m done. Still, that doesn’t mean knowing that Noah is alive doesn’t mean the world to me. I may be done, but I love him. I’m pretty sure I’ll always love him…which probably makes me stupid.

“Yes, baby. We’ll call him in just a little bit, I promise. First, you have to eat some dinner. What would you like?”

“Hot dog with ketchup and French fries?” he asks hopefully.

“I think we can do that,” I tell him, reaching over the table to ruffle his hair. When the waitress comes over I order Ryan’s food and order a bowl of soup and a soda for me. I’m still not eating great these days. I’ve lost weight… too much… but I can’t seem to stop myself.

We’re at the diner where I work. I just got off work about an hour ago and picked Ryan up at the local daycare that a church runs here. The woman’s shelter here put me in touch with them and they’ve been a Godsend. Without them, there’s no way I could leave Ryan and work. I have to work, I just get paid tips really, but it’s enough. We can leave for the next town soon. I can go to Tennessee and drop Ryan off with Noah and then maybe make my way to Mexico. I’ve been looking through travel brochures someone had left at the diner and I’ve been thinking maybe the safest place to be would be Brazil? Rio? Crap I don’t know, just somewhere far away and anywhere that King or his stepbrother—I’m never claiming either as a brother—can’t find me.

“Rory? You okay?” Ryan asks.

I bring my attention back to him… having been too lost in my thoughts. I’ve not dealt with everything that’s happened. I haven’t allowed myself the time.

Agent Lodge did help me find a doctor and called ahead for me so I wouldn’t have to give them any information. I don’t know how he managed that, but I was glad he did.

I lost my baby.