“Back the fuck away,” she yells back. She brings her knee up to hit me in the balls. I manage to block that and trap her leg by a firm grip with my hand. My other hand locks around her wrist to pull her arm above her head.
“Not happening, Rory. Now tell me why you moved out of your bedroom,” I order, my voice quiet against her ear, but forceful just the same.
“I didn’t,” she argues, but she’s a liar.
“Look me in the eye, Rory.”
“Kiss my ass, Noah.”
“With pleasure, but not right now. Right now, we’re having this out.”
“There’s nothing to have out. You’re an asshole and I’m tired of your shit. We’re neighbors and we’ll be neighbors that never talk because you’re an asshole. That’s as worked out as we need to be!”
“Woman you can’t get pissed at me because I don’t want you around my son, I’ve never made a secret of the fact I didn’t want you near him.”
My words cause her body to jerk.
“I was wrong,” she whispers.
“Wrong?” I ask and I know she might not like what I’m saying, but I don’t understand why she’s acting this way or what is going through her head.
“You aren’t an asshole. You’re just plain cruel,” she says, again whispering.
“Come again?”
“What’s wrong with me? I’m a good person, Noah. I know you just met me, but I love kids. I’d be nice to Ryan. He’s sweet and he’s sweet to me and—”
“And he’s mine, Rory. Mine. I am his father and I decide who I let into my child’s life. I decide and you don’t know me. You don’t know Ryan. But, I do. He’s been hurt by people who were supposed to care for him. You aren’t even one of those people, but my boy is soft and the world hasn’t hardened him up yet and you could get that power over him. I don’t want you to and that means I’m shielding him.”
“You can’t shield him from everything, Noah,” she says thoughtfully.
“I know that, Gorgeous,” I tell her and suddenly I’m feeling a hell of a lot older than I am. “God help me, I know that more than anyone,” I tell her, my voice raw. I let go of her and step back a space, giving us both air.
Air where I don’t breathe in her scent.
“Broken,” she whispers and I look up at her to find her staring at my face… softly.
“What?” I ask, and for the first time ever I think I might be afraid of a woman.
She cups the side of my face, her hand soft, even against my beard. Her fingers feel like they brand my skin.
“We’re all broken, Noah,” she responds, leaning into me.
“Don’t think you can fix me, Rory,” I warn her.
“Maybe I don’t want to,” she says right before she leans in to kiss me.
It’s a soft kiss and I take it, exploring her mouth slowly and not really taking complete control, letting her continue that path because it’s nice, because she’s in my arms filling them and because I like that she’s there.
And maybe because she’s right.
We are broken.15RoryI get out of the shower and look at my bed. The urge to sleep in the guest room is huge, but who knows how long Noah will be in town. I can’t live my life around what he might or might not hear.
I sit on the bed, wincing as it squeaks. My gaze immediately goes to the wall and I hold my breath. I don’t hear anything and I slowly begin to breathe again.
I shouldn’t have kissed Noah today. I really shouldn’t have. I can still taste him on my lips and that’s bad. I didn’t plan on it… for the most part I hated him. But, when he began talking about his son, and I saw the tortured look on his face something inside of me melted. I know that look. I know it because it was full of pain and I’ve lived that pain. I didn’t like seeing it on his beautiful face so I kissed him, hoping to ease it.
It was probably stupid, but I couldn’t help it.
He left soon after. He didn’t want to, but I told him I had to get to work and honestly, I didn’t want it to go farther than a kiss… and he had that look in his eye. The look that told me I’d soon lose control and he’d take over. The look that told me he’d own my body soon if I didn’t make a move to stop it.
So, I did.
I can’t even say I did it because I wanted to. I think I did it out of self-preservation. I want Noah. At first, I thought it was just my body that wanted him. I’ve been alone a while and even when I wasn’t… being with a man wasn’t good. I want good. I want that experience with a man that what few friends I’ve had always bragged about. I have a feeling—a really good feeling—that Noah would definitely deliver that and more.