Diesel (Savage Brothers MC-Tennessee 2)

But today, after seeing a glimpse of the real man, the bigger problem is that I want him and I might have told him that I didn’t want to fix him, but I do. I want to erase that pain I saw on his face. I want to do it for him… as bad as I always wanted someone do it for me.

No one saved me from my pain. I had to save myself. But, I want to save Noah. That’s dangerous thinking and I should know better… but I don’t. I really want to fix him.

Because I’m an idiot.

I go through my nightly routine, putting on my lotion and brushing my hair. I should blow dry it, but I’m too tired. It will be poofed up to the heavens by morning and completely unmanageable, but even that thought doesn’t make me get back up. Instead, I drop my bath towel and slide between the sheets. I even find myself sliding up against the wall as if trying to get closer to Noah—like that makes any sense.

“Good to have you back, Gorgeous.”

I hear the words, not well…they’re faint, but I hear them and they instantly make me warm all over.

“Goodnight, Noah,” I answer. He doesn’t respond. I don’t know if he heard me, because I more or less whispered the words. I close my eyes and slowly drift off and I do it while reliving the kiss I shared with Noah, admitting that I really liked that kiss; that I liked being in his arms and admitting that when he calls me gorgeous… my heart skips a beat.

My last thought before I crash is that I probably am an idiot because I do want to fix him… and even if it means I’ll probably get my heart broken into a million pieces, I’m going to try.16Diesel“Good Morning,” Rory says cheerfully.

She is standing in my driveway, waiting as I get out of my truck.

I just got back from dropping Ryan off at school and my mind is preoccupied because I know I saw that red Jeep from the other day again. This time I was on the main road, not the back one—because Ryan and I overslept and I didn’t want him to be later than he was already. I drove by the school and circled back twice. The jeep was parked across the road from the school the second time and it was empty. I didn’t see anyone around it either. It’s probably innocent, but for whatever reason, something about seeing this vehicle is setting off alarm bells for me. I took Ryan into the school and reiterated to the office staff that my child was not to leave the facility with anyone other than me.

When I came back out, the Jeep was gone. I drove around looking for it, even going as far as to take the back road and the exit the man had taken before. I still didn’t see the Jeep and the exit ended up being a dead-end road that there was nothing on—which only makes me worry more.

“Gorgeous,” I answer, clearing my throat.

“Something wrong?” she asks, looking a little nervous. Hell, who could blame her? I find I’m nervous around her right now too. Rory isn’t what I expected and our little run-in yesterday keeps playing in my head. I heard her whispering in my head all night long and it was the same line.

“We’re all broken.”

I don’t know what I’m going to do with this woman. The smart thing would be to walk away and to do it in a way that she doesn’t follow. I know that’s not what I’m going to do, however. I want more of her and I’m going to take it until I get my fill.

“Just got shit on my mind,” I tell her honestly. I file my problem with the Jeep in the back of my mind. I’m considering reaching out to my brothers to run the plate. Right now, I’m wondering if it’s worth the risk.

“I can come back some other time,” she says and she’s backing away. I reach out and grab her arm, pulling her into me.

“I like you here,” I tell her.

I promised myself I wouldn’t give her sweet words, but something about her makes me want to. That’s about as sweet as I can manage. It’s at least honest and more than I like to reveal. I figure she appreciates the sweet when her face goes soft and she relaxes in my arms.

“I can’t stay long. I have work, it’s just… I have a question,” she says and for a moment I feel my body go stiff. Inside my head I’m thinking that this is it. This is when Rory shows me she’s like all the others and starts asking for shit. I force myself to relax and respond.