Diesel (Savage Brothers MC-Tennessee 2)

“You do have stuff you need to do. You need to eat,” he states matter-of-factly.

I frown.

“I’ll grab something at the house,” I lie. I’ll have to eat on the road, I don’t have time to worry about it now.

“Gorgeous, you’re not running.”

“Noah—”

He applies pressure against my legs, his fingers biting into the flesh. I immediately look at him and his face is serious, but it also has a tenderness to it that I haven’t seen before.

“You’re not packing up and leaving, Rory.”

“I don’t know what you’re—”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. Don’t lie to me, Rory.”

My breath lodges in my chest and I tense. I start to deny it, but what’s the point.

“I have to leave, Noah. I don’t have a choice.”

“You bought a house, Rory. You have a job, and you’ve applied for another… You have a life here.”

“I’ll have nothing here once my brother and Tony get done,” I tell him, my voice so quiet I have no idea if he can hear me, but the truth is I don’t like saying Tony’s name. Just uttering it makes me queasy.

“Tony’s your husband,” he says and I jerk like he hit me, I can’t stop myself.

“I’m not married,” I insist, my voice tight and maybe a little too loud.

“He said you were his wife,” Noah responds watching me closely.

“I would never marry him!”

“Rory, it’s okay—”

“Noah, he’s not my husband. He’s a sick bastard who won’t leave me alone. He thinks he owns me.”

“Why would he think that?” Noah asks and I get that he doesn’t know me, but his questions are starting to piss me off.

“Why would a crazy man ever think anything? I don’t know,” I growl, standing up. I walk a few steps away and turn back around to face him. He’s standing up now too and he’s watching me. I can’t tell what he’s thinking, I’m not able to read his face, but now I’m too upset to care. “We lived together for almost two years. I was in hell almost all of those two years, Noah.”

“Rory, sweetheart,” he says softly, but I don’t let him finish. I need to get this out. It’s not something I’ve been able to talk about with anyone—mostly because I truthfully don’t have anyone to confide in. No one really gives a damn about me—except Tony and my brother, but that’s not about caring… not even close.

“When I say hell, Noah, I mean hell. I had no life. I had nothing unless my brother or Tony deemed I could have it.”

“Why didn’t you leave?” he asks and his question makes me nauseous. I swallow down the urge to hurl, but it’s not easy.

Why didn’t I leave? Noah’s question is so innocent but it’s not easy to answer—not even close.

“I tried, more than once, Noah.”

“Rory—”

“More than ten. Hell, maybe a hundred or more. I tried until I just wasn’t strong enough to keep trying. I was tired. My soul was tired. I was afraid of the pain that came when I tried and failed to break free.”

“Rory, baby—” Noah says, his voice soft. I ignore him. Right now, I’m so lost in my memories that I can barely feel his hand move along the side of my neck. Vaguely, I can feel his thumb sweep back and forth on my cheek, but even that feels dull to me.

“In the end, Tony was right. I am weak.”

“Bullshit,” Noah argues and this causes me to jerk out of my haze. “How did you finally get free?” he asks, and I start not to answer him. I sure as hell don’t want to, but something about Noah makes me want to tell him, maybe I’m seeking his acceptance. I don’t know. For whatever reason, I find myself opening up a little more to him.

“He asked me to marry him and I told him no. When I kept refusing he tried to talk me into it.”

“Talk you into it?”

“With his fists, at first. Later he got creative. I kept saying no. The last straw came when I told him I’d rather die than wear his ring. He thought he’d show me what dying felt like. I was in the hospital for two months,” I tell him and I don’t think it is my imagination that his hand shakes with my confession.

“Your brother didn’t do a damn thing to stop this?” Noah asks. He sounds like he can’t believe a brother would condone what happened to me. But then… he doesn’t know my brother.

“He sent me flowers in the hospital that had a get well soon card.”

“Jesus.”

“I have to go, Noah. He won’t stop until I’m dead. He was serious when he told me that if I wouldn’t marry him, he’d make sure no one else could claim me either.”

I stop there. I don’t want to tell him about my brother. I don’t want to tell him why Tony is so desperate to marry me. That’s a can of worms that I don’t need to open. I’ve unloaded enough.