Diesel (Savage Brothers MC-Tennessee 2)

That makes this morning after really not good. I do my best to keep my smile pasted on my face while I help Ryan make pancakes. I had planned on adding sausage, but now I’m thinking that’s a bad idea. Now I’m thinking the quicker this gets done, the better. Which is why we only made a big batch of pancakes and Ryan is now decorating them.

“Rory found chocolate chips, Dad! We’re going to make faces!”

“You’re going to make them,” I laugh, giving Ryan’s hair another ruffle.

He’s such a great kid and he’s dying for love. You don’t have to be a genius to see that, or maybe it’s because of the life I led and the family I had that I see it. Whatever the reason, it screams at me.

“Rory seems quite prepared,” Noah says and his voice still sounds light, but I can tell it’s not. I can tell he’s not happy. I don’t have to ask him why either.

He doesn’t want me around his son.

I swallow down the hurt. He laid things out for me last night. Considering what I didn’t know, but could hear in Noah’s voice about Ryan’s mom, and then hearing his promise about protecting his son and the whole spiel about the second girl in his life… I could understand it. The problem is that you can understand where someone is coming from, but that doesn’t mean it makes the hurt any less when someone you just had the best sex in your life with, spent hours talking to afterwards and then had sex again… lets you know that you’re not welcome in his home or his life in the morning hours… all that and he really doesn’t want you around his son.

Noah might not have said that with words, but in this instance, actions definitely speak louder than words.

“Ryan, that’s so cute,” I laugh, trying to drag my mind away from Noah and his stony silence—or the fact that he hasn’t even looked me in the eye since he came into the room.

“What are we going to use for a nose?” Ryan asks, looking up at me with those pretty, green eyes of his sparkling. He’s so happy. It makes me wonder what happened to his mother? If she’s as bad as Noah indicated then she has to be seriously whacked. That said, evidence was pointing to the fact that Noah was an asshole, so maybe the mother just couldn’t deal with Mr. Bipolar and fled. It doesn’t excuse her for leaving behind Ryan, but at least it would explain her absence.

“I have some whipped cream and strawberries at the house. I’ll go—”

“I’ve got a tub of whipped topping in the freezer, Cupcake,” he says and I frown. I look at him and it’s a change. He’s looking at my face now—at least, but it’s an impassive look… cool and distant. I’m also starting to see a pattern. He only calls me “cupcake” when he’s irritated, or treating me like a jerk—which he definitely is right now.

“It will be frozen. I’ll just go to the house and get mine. That way Ryan’s masterpiece will be complete.”

“You’re not going to your house alone, Rory. Just put the gunk in the microwave and give it a few minutes. Besides, I need to get Ryan to school.”

“Awe, Dad! Can’t I stay home? Rory and I could cook supper together!” Ryan complains and despite Noah pissing me off, I find myself laughing.

“You have to go to school, Little Man, but I tell you what.”

“What?”

“I’ll pick you up after school and we’ll go watch that new Incredibles movie you’ve been wanting to see,” he promises.

Bribery 101.

I’ve never had kids, and it’s starting to look like I probably won’t, but still I spent years as a teacher and bribery had its perks in that position. I imagined it was a hundred times better as a parent.

“Oh cool!!! Can you come, Rory?” Ryan asks.

“I… uh… I don’t think I can, sweetie.”

“Why not?” Ryan asks.

“Well I’m going to be going—”

“Rory will be coming too,” Noah says and Ryan’s reaction to that was loud and instantaneous.

“Yippee! Alright! We’ll have popcorn and taffy! And we can see who can throw popcorn up and catch it in their mouth. Can you do that, Rory?”

“I uh… well I’ve never… I don’t think I can,” I tell Ryan, confused and frustrated and if we were alone I’d probably throw the pancakes—that Ryan is currently putting eyeballs on—at Noah.

“I’ll teach you!” Ryan says, like getting to do that was the greatest thing in the world.

“Go get dressed for school, Ry. While you’re doing that Rory and I will thaw the whip cream.”

“Okay, Dad,” he answers without even a hint of an argument this time. Then, Ryan surprises me. Before he jumps off the stool to run to his room he turns around and wraps his little arms around me, burying his head into my chest.