“That feels like heaven,” he groans, letting his head drop forward.
“You’re so tense,” I tell him and it’s completely true. I can feel the way his muscles are knotted up under my fingers and I work to try and get them to relax.
“Diesel left today,” he says, but I can’t figure out why that has him so upset. My fingers fumble a little as a thought occurs to me.
“Did you… I mean do you wish you had gone back too?” I ask, and he looks over his shoulder at me.
“Why do you ask that, Angel?”
“Well, you’re clearly upset and…”
“I’m worried about him, Torrent. He’s going through some stuff. He’s worried about his boy.”
“He’s the one whose ex was trying to get the boy back, right?”
“Yeah. There’s something going on there. Diesel thinks an old enemy is behind it.”
“And not his ex?”
“Someone is bankrolling that bitch. If not she wouldn’t keep at it.”
“Oh… What’s he going to do?”
“He’s leaving the club, Angel.”
“Leaving?”
“He’s stepping down as president and taking his child and going dark.”
“But… I mean, is that safe? Wouldn’t it be better to have his club behind him?”
“Fuck, baby. I don’t know. That didn’t work out great for your dad, did it?”
I try to keep my reaction from him, but I can’t stop the pain his question causes. My heart hurts.
“Christ. I’m an asshole,” Devil growls, turning around.
“No. It’s fine. You’re right,” I respond, trying to reassure him. I’m feeling self-conscious, and like a big baby.
“I’m a stupid asshole,” he says again, and he gathers me up in his arms and pulls me into his lap.
“It’s fine, Logan. I promise.”
“It was insensitive. I’m worried about my brother, but that’s no reason to hurt you.”
He squeezes me tightly and kisses my temple. I make my body relax. I know he didn’t mean anything. Devil would never hurt me.
“You’re just worried about your friend. It’s my fault, isn’t it?”
“Of course not. Why would you say that?”
“If it wasn’t for me, Logan, you would have traveled back with him. He’s traveling home alone and that’s dangerous.”
“He’s got someone watching his back—at least from a distance.”
“What’s that mean?”
“Diesel had another member come up to watch my back while I was here so he could go home. I talked with him and we both agreed Diesel needed more protection than I did. So he’s following him back and once Diesel gets settled, he’ll come back—if I’m still here.”
“You’re thinking of leaving?” I ask, trying not to be too needy, but I can literally feel myself panic at the thought of Devil not being here.
“I have a life back home, Torrent. You know that. It’s a life that I like. I have a family there.”
“Oh…”
“That said, I’m hoping you will think of coming home with me.”
“You want me to…”
“I told you I’m in this for the long haul. You had to know I wanted you to come home with me, Torrent.”
“I guess I never thought about it…”
“Then maybe you should,” he says and my heart kicks into overdrive. “Would you be willing to come back home with me?”
“I… I guess I never realized how complicated a relationship between us would be.”
“Torrent—”
“I’m not saying no, Logan. I’m not. I’m just thinking maybe we pick our battles one at a time.”
“Wolf,” he says and I nod.
“I think that’s the biggest thing, don’t you?”
“Have you heard from him any more?”
“He’s planning on being back in town in two days,” I tell him and saying that out loud makes me nervous.
“Good. I want him back here and things out in the open. I got to tell you, Angel, I’d do anything for you, but I’m getting damn tired of sneaking around to see you. It’s a pattern we’ve done way too much of.”
I can’t argue with him. At the same time, I can’t help being nervous about the future.
Can I move away from everything to be with Devil? Everything I ever shared with my father is here…
Can I leave my past behind to have a future with this man?Devil“Now you’re the one that’s quiet, Angel,” I whisper into the dark room. I’m lying in bed with Torrent and it’s been a good night, but definitely subdued. I’m worried about Diesel and I know Torrent has a lot on her mind—most of which is my fault. There’s a chance I pushed her too hard tonight, but it had to be done. She can’t hide from the truth forever, and I think that’s what she is doing.
She curls back into me, kissing the side of my neck and I guess I should be glad that she hasn’t pulled away from me. I’m not sure how I would have handled that. I’m trying to handle Torrent gently, but I’m not this man—the man who sneaks around to see his woman. I’m too fucking old for this shit.