I stand, not able to sit still anymore, not able to think clearly. I walk over to the sink and stare out the window, but it’s too dark to see outside. Instead, I can see Carson’s reflection. He’s staring at me, watching me. He stands, but I don’t turn around. It’s then I notice I took the liquor bottle with me .
Despite the turbulent emotions running through me I am aroused, my pussy wet, and my nipples hard. Our gazes lock and I can’t breathe. I turn around slowly, still staring at him, wondering what he’s thinking about. I see him swallow, his Adams apple working as if he is trying to hold off from saying something. I clench my hands around the whiskey bottle, thinking about downing the whole thing, trying to stem off my arousal .
The death grip I have on the bottle seems to ground me, stabilize me. But I force myself to set the bottle aside .
“So, where do we go from here? Where do we stand?” My voice is thick, hoarse. I’m afraid, nervous…excited about his response. Carson doesn’t say anything, and instead he moves closer, just a step, but I feel his body heat slam into me .
He takes another step closer. “I will always protect you, Jenny, always be here for you, no matter what. You know that, right ?”
He hasn’t answered my question, but I nod anyway .
Carson watches me intently, his breathing harder, faster. It matches mine. His chest rises and falls the closer he moves toward me. When we are mere inches from one another, I stare into his eyes, wanting to have the guts to just rise up on my toes and kiss him, to be the one to really start this .
Take me now, Carson. Make me yours .
“You’re shaking,” he says in a low, deep voice. He moves an inch closer, and I press my back fully against the counter .
“Tell me something you’ve never told anyone before,” he probes, questioning .
I know I shouldn’t say anything, but I can’t help myself. I need to have everything out in the open. I need to tell him how I feel. “I love you,” I whisper, knowing I shouldn’t have said that, but needing him to know the truth. And then after a few seconds he closes his eyes, braces his hands on the counter on either side of me, and breathes out roughly .
“I’m so much older than you .”
My heartbeat is loud in my ears. “I’m not a girl anymore. I know what I want, and what I want is you .”
He doesn’t move, doesn’t speak, and I wonder what the next step is. I’ve waited long enough to be with the man I love, to finally be able to express how I feel. This is my life, and I want this more than anything. I want Carson more than anything .
“No, you’re not a girl anymore,” he says almost to himself. “Believe me, baby, I’ve noticed.” This lightness covers his face. “I love you, too, Jenny. God, I love you so fucking much it hurts .”
Pleasure and heat fill me. And then he makes this low sound in his throat, grabs me around the back of my head, and pulls me close. He presses his mouth against mine, and this gasp leaves me. I’m frozen in place, unsure if this is really happening. But in the end it doesn’t matter because the feel of his lips on mine, moving rough, hard, and demanding, has every rational thought leaving my brain .
The way he holds me, kisses me, makes me feel wholly feminine. He’s had me since before he said anything, since before I knew this was what I needed. I can feel the hunger and need in his touch .
I am helpless to stop it, but I don’t want to , ever .Chapter 11CarsonW hen you wait years for something and you finally have it in your grasp, the feelings you get are indescribable. When I finally pull away from Jenny’s lips, my fucking hands are shaking. So much has happened tonight that I’m busy trying to wrap my mind around it. But the only thing I really need to know is Jenny loves me. I thought I had lost her, but she’s given me the words I’ve been dying to hear for years. There’s no way she’s getting away from me now .
I look over at her. Her eyes are wide in surprise and her hand is gently touching her swollen lips .
Lips swollen from my kiss .
“What are you thinking?” I ask her, my voice gruff .
“That this may be the best birthday I’ve ever had in my life,” she whispers and for some reason that makes me smile .
“It’s not your birthday yet, honey .”