Comfort Zone (Awkward Love 4)

“I can talk to him—”

“No.” I cut Liam off. “I think I need to. I’ll just give him some time to calm down, first. Hey, did you talk to your dad?” I ask, remembering that Jake wasn’t the only mess tonight.

He nods. “Yeah. It was strangely…nice.”

“Wow.” I smile. “That’s a good thing, right?”

“We’ll see. He’s let me down before, so…” He sighs. “Time will tell, I guess. He told me no more games. My job is mine for as long as I want it, and your scholarship is safe, so we’ll see.”

“Maybe he really is trying this time?” she says.

“I hope he is,” he mutters.

I smile at him. “So, does this change anything for you?”

“I’m not sure,” he finishes. “I’m good at teaching and I know I can do it well. Anything else is a gamble. Putting that theory into practice?” He sighs. “I have a lifetime of nothing ever being good enough to undo, before I even think about that.”

I hug his arm, his revelation shocking me. I had no idea he felt like that.

“I remember saying something similar to you once,” I remind him. He groans and leans down to kiss me. “Is this where you tell me to take my own advice?”

I shrug, laughing as he narrows his eyes. “Looks like I don’t really need to.”

I pick up my phone and sigh. I’ve been back here for half an hour already. If I don’t go now, it might be harder to find him later. Like I suspected, he sits in the bar, ironically in the same spot Brooke had been earlier. He looks up and gives me a half-hearted smile. Then he nods down at the two shots that sit on the table. Tequila. It’s like he knew I would be back.

“I thought we could play a game,” he suggests, the slightest trace of a grin on his lips.

“Sure.” I sink into the opposite booth.

“Truth or dare okay with you?”

I nod. “Okay. I’ll start. You choose.”

He thinks for a second. “Truth.”

I press my lips together. This is where I get my answers. “You were in love with me. For how long?”

He shrugs. “Pretty much forever. From high school, right up until things started getting serious with Brooke.”

“How could you not tell me?” I ask, hurt.

“Truth or dare,” is his only response.

I nod. “Truth.”

He takes a deep breath and stares me in the eye. “Are you in love with Liam?”

I stare at my drink. “It’s too early to tell—”

“Then are you falling in love with him?” he rephrases.

“Technically that’s two quest—”

“Becca, for fucks sake, answer the damn question,” he snaps.

“Fine. Yes, I’m falling in love with him. Hell, I might already be lying there, flat on my ass staring up at the sky. Are you happy?”

My heart pounds as I breathe in a deep breath, trying to calm myself down.

“Don’t take your anger out on me, Jake.” I blink back tears. “Don’t make me feel guilty for not picking up on something you never told me about.”

“Would it have made any difference?” he says. “If I had told you?”

“I don’t know. If I was giving you signals or something, then maybe I could’ve done something about that. I could have changed the way I acted—”

“But I didn’t want that.” He sighs and rests his head against the table and then rests it on his hands. “There was a reason I was in love with you, Becca. Because you were you.”

“Your turn,” I say after a moment.

I’m not even sure the game is still going, but I need more answers. He raises his head and stares at me, then places it back on the table.

“Truth,” he mutters.

“Are you still in love with me?”

He sits up and stares deep into my eyes, before saying the one little word I so desperately need to hear.

“No.”“How did it go?” Liam asks.

I walk back into the room and close the door, shrugging helplessly.

“I don’t know? We spoke, which is good, I guess, but I don’t know if it helped at all.”

I lie down on the bed with Liam, sighing as he wraps his arms around me.

“I believe him when he says he doesn’t love me anymore, but I don’t know… I don’t know what’s going on in his head and he won’t let me in. And then I start thinking that I’m not the right person to be trying to help him…” I sigh.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Liam murmurs, kissing me on the head. I roll over and fall into his embrace, his warmth overwhelming me, I look up at him and smile.

“So, how are you?” I ask.

He shrugs. “Just enjoying some trashy TV. And I mean trashy. Who watches this shit?” I glance at the TV and sit upright when I see what’s on.

“This is the episode I’m up to,” I say excitedly.

“Of course it is.” He groans. Then he laughs. “Come here.”