Too Much Information (Awkward Love 3)

“What?” He shrugs, a ghost of a smile on his lips. “I’m a natural. I kill it at Mission Corpse Three.”

“Uh-huh.” I grin.

While Lewin plays Mission Corpse Three, I run through Ben’s care plan, checking his stats, his latest blood results, and the results of his recent scans. They’re all indicating the same thing: that this transplant needs to happen soon, or it might be too late.

My heart pounds as I watch this little boy and Lewin argue about their technique for bringing down a particularly nasty zombie. I admire Lewin for being able to just sit there and focus on making this kid’s day just a little bit brighter. I’m snapped out of my thoughts by Lewin slapping me on the back. He walks out with me close behind him.

“You okay?” Lewin asks.

I nod, forcing a smile. “Just sick kids, you know?”

“Sure. It does get easier. I mean, it’s always hard, but you learn to internalize it.” He glances at me. “Take a break now if you like, then we can finish up by going over the reports together.”

“What will happen to Ben?” I ask suddenly. As if I even need to ask.

Lewin shrugs. “We hope like hell we find a donor soon.”

I walk away, thinking about Ben and Lewin. I appreciate the break more than he knows. He could be riding me even harder and pushing me to break, like many of the specialists at his level do, but he’s not. He’s recognizing that I’m struggling, and he’s giving me the chance to take a breath. Any apprehension I had about working with Lewin has long gone because now all I have left for this guy is admiration. If I can be half the doctor this guy is one day, I’ll be happy.

I grab a coffee and something to eat from the cafeteria, and then I head up to the roof. I don’t know why I thought that I would have more time moving into this fellowship program, compared to residency. I don’t think I was expecting just how fast-paced and full-on this program was going to be. I don’t regret it for a second, but it’s a big adjustment.

I walk out onto the roof, breathing a sigh of relief when I see that I’m alone. I’ve been out here a few times, thanks to Lewin’s pack-a-day addiction. Both times it was quiet, so it seemed like a good place to come and think. Looking around me, I lean over the edge of the building, gazing out over the city skyline while having a mouthful of my coffee. After a while, I sit down and lean against the barrier, closing my eyes. I feel like I need a day off to get my head around everything and maybe catch up on some sleep—not that I’d ever ask for it.

I sit there, just enjoying the silence for a moment, frowning when I hear the door open. I’m annoyed that my moment has been interrupted, but I probably should be getting back to work anyway. The handle turns, and I’m shocked to see Laura standing there. She steps out, stopping in her tracks when she sees me. Her grip on the door loosens until it slips out of her hands completely and slams shut. She jumps and flushes as she smiles at me.

“Sorry, I didn’t know you were out here,” she says.

“Obviously, or you wouldn’t be here.” I feel bad that she feels so uncomfortable around me still, even if it is amusing.

“I’m looking for Professor Lewin,” she says, ignoring my comment. “Doctor Ballan needs a cardiac consult, and she said that I’d probably find him out here.”

“Sorry to disappoint you,” I say. “Just me.”

She nods and turns around, yanking the door handle. She grabs it again, but nothing happens. She turns back to me, alarmed. I get the message and get to my feet, sauntering over to her. The handle turns freely in my hand. Too freely.

“It’s broken.”

I think back to the two other times I’ve been out here. Both times something was propping open the door. Shit. I wish I’d realized that earlier.

“Broken?” she repeats, alarm rising in her voice. “Well, can you un break it?”

“Not locked out here I can’t.”

I bang against the door, calling out, but my shouting goes unheard. Eventually, I give up and walk back over to the barrier and sit down.

“What are you doing?” she frowns.

“Nobody is going to hear us, so why waste the energy trying? We have to wait it out.” I shrug. I’m not getting too worked up about it because someone will find us eventually.

“Where’s your phone?” she asks.

I smirk. “In my locker. Right next to my pager. Where’s yours?”

“Flat. And the first pager I was given kept going off randomly, so Ballan was going to chase up another one for me.” She frowns at me. “Why are you even out here, anyway?”