“Did it work?”
“Avoiding reality?” He smiles. “Not really. It just delayed me having to face it, which I guess was all I really needed anyway.”
I know that feeling well.
“I kind of went the opposite way when I lost my dad in my senior year of high school,” I admit. “I didn’t sleep for days at a time, and I put all of my energy and focus into studying. But it was the same sort of deal, I guess. That was my way of blocking everything out to avoid facing it. Matt handled it so much better. He was there for me and my mom.”
“Then I guess your brother was right,” he says softly. “We do have a lot in common.”
“How old are you?” I ask him
“I’ll be thirty next month. You?” he asks.
“Twenty-six. Almost twenty-seven.”
“That’s young to be doing your third-year residency,” he observes.
I nod, a blush creeping across my cheeks.
“I did quite a few college credits in my final year of high school,” I confess. “I wasn’t lying when I said I put everything into studying.”
“Impressive,” he says with a small smile. “I lose someone, and I completely flake out. You lose someone and graduate college early.”
I shrug. “It doesn’t really mean anything other than that we cope with things differently. Did you have a good relationship with your father?” I ask.
He laughs. “God, no. Not at all. I think that’s why it was so hard losing him because there was a lot of guilt and self-blame. Mainly because that’s what my mother believed.”
“I’m sure she wouldn’t have really thought that,” I say.
“Trust me. She wasn’t shy about letting me know that she thought it was my fault,” he says, his voice grim. “He was a lawyer. My whole entire family was lawyers, going back generations. His firm had been in the family for longer than anything else, and it ended with me.”
“So, you becoming a doctor didn’t go down too well, I’m guessing?”
“Didn’t go down too well is an understatement.” He chuckles. “They pretty much stopped talking to me once I began my pre-med.”
I shake my head sadly. He smiles and nods.
“When my dad died, my mom told me not to bother coming to the funeral because I wouldn’t be allowed inside. I thought she was bluffing until I arrived at the church and saw the muscle she’d hired. I guess that’s what I get for going against my family’s legacy.” He pauses and reaches up to rub his eyes. “She said that I was selfish for choosing medicine and that I didn’t appreciate all that they’d done for me.”
“I can’t imagine anyone not being proud of their kid for achieving what you need to achieve to be a successful doctor,” I say with a frown.
He shrugs. “Families can be funny things. My point is, if you get on well with yours, then cherish that. Don’t be ashamed of it.”Another hour passes and then another. Before long, it’s dark, cold and I’m trying hard not to fall asleep. Luke motions for me to stop pacing and sit down again so I can snuggle closer to him. He shakes his head at my reaction, a smirk playing on his lips.
“I can promise you this is for warmth purposes only,” he says. “You look like you’re slowly freezing to death, and I thought preserving heat might be a better option than having you collapse on me from hypothermia.” He smiles at me. “Not that I wouldn’t enjoy giving you mouth-to-mouth.”
I hide a smile as I glance down at my arms. I study the goose bumps that have sprung up and give in, even though the idea of mouth-to-mouth is pretty tempting. I sit down next to him, allowing him to wrap his arms around me. I’m still shivering, only now I’m not sure if it’s having him so close to me or the fact that I’m so cold.
“I’m starting to think we might be out here all night.”
He shakes his head. “No, security would have to check up here eventually.”
I hope he’s right. I glance up at him as he stares down at me. My heart races because his lips are so close to mine. Before I know what I’m doing, I’m inching myself forward, just enough so that his mouth is almost touching mine.
What the hell am I doing?
I jump back and look away. I’m embarrassed that I almost kissed him, but apparently, he’s not. His fingers cradle my face as he gently turns me, so I’m facing him. My heart pounds as he stares into my eyes. I don’t know what I want at this point because all I can focus on is his lips and how soft they look. I stretch my body out until my lips touch his.
As we kiss, the warmth of his mouth against mine sparks something inside me. My heart races as his fingers stroke my neck, just below my ear. I reach up and put my hand over his, holding it there, while his lips explore mine. He pulls away, his eyes staring into mine as he waits for me to react. For a moment, I don’t know how I feel, but then, all the feelings of regret, begin to rush out.