I Can Explain (Awkward Love 2)

The door swings open. I look up and double take when I see Josh walking toward me. Holy shit. I came so hard I’m seeing things. But no, he’s really there, smiling at me like we’re old friends. He sits down.

“Chase. How are you?”

He asks like it hasn’t been nearly two years since I last saw him. He almost has me fooled that he doesn’t care how I’m going to react, but the look in his eyes gives him up. He’s terrified. Just as he fucking should be. I sit back in my chair and frown at him, not saying a word.

“Josh,” I say, my tone stiffer than my dick had been only minutes before. “I can say with all honesty that you’re the last person I expected to walk into my office tonight.”

“Chase…” He sighs as I lift my eyebrows. He at least has the decency to look ashamed, though not keeping in contact is pretty low on the list of shit my brother has done to me. “I’ve been wanting to call you. I’ve just been so busy with work and stuff,” he mumbles.

“Stuff being my ex-wife?” I ask, an edge in my voice. “How is Casey, by the way?”

“She’s fine,” Josh replies. To his credit, he’s not letting me bait him into an argument. “You’re not going to make this easy for me, are you?” he asks, studying me.

“Should I be making this easy for you, Josh?” I ask, keeping my voice calm.

The funniest thing about all of this is that he’s oblivious to what today is. At least I hope he is because turning up in my office, on my wedding anniversary is a bit of a cunt move.

“Considering the circumstances, yes,” he replies, answering my question. He stands and wanders over to the window. “Playing the victim doesn’t suit you, Chase. You were just as much in the wrong as we were. Maybe even more so.” He frowns and turns to face me. “Anyway, I’m not here to dig up the past.”

“Really,” I say. I watch him suspiciously because I’m not sure I believe that. “So why are you here, then?”

He hesitates and then turns away again. I sigh, because all I want to do is shake answers out of him. Why can’t he just get it out? Say what he has to say and then fuck off?

“Hey, do you want to go out somewhere? Get a drink?” he suddenly asks. “They’re playing some live music down at The Jazz Bar. Maybe we could head there, for old times’ sake?”

A drink?

I swallow a laugh, and then shrug, pretending that him turning up after all this time hasn’t brought back a whole heap of painful memories. Things I thought I’d forgotten, or at least, moved on from. I want to kick him out, but on the other hand, I don’t want him to see how much his impromptu visit is getting to me. If a drink is all I need to do for him to leave me alone for another two years, then I’ll take it.

“Sure,” I finally say. “Let’s go.”Neither of us says much as he drives us over to the bar. I glance out the window of his Merc—ironically, the same one I caught him fucking my wife in—pretending I give a damn about whatever it is he has to say. But I do care, don’t I? I’m so conflicted, because as much as I hate what he did to me, he’s still my brother. And my only living family member.

“How’s work?” he asks, attempting small talk.

“Busy,” I murmur.

He takes the hint and stops trying to engage me in bullshit, pointless small talk. Both of us remain silent the rest of the drive until we pull into the parking lot behind the bar. We get out and walk inside. I’m impressed to see that not much has changed, and it’s still the quiet little place that I remember. It’s located on the far side of town, so not many people know about it. Especially since there’s been a big influx of trendy bars closer to the city. Little places like this had been overlooked, and although it sucked for them from a business sense, it suited me down to the ground. I hate crowds almost as much as I hate socializing.

We find ourselves a table. I order a scotch while Josh orders a beer. Catch-ups like this used to be a regular thing and something that I looked forward to, but they haven’t happened in a long time. We used to hit this very place nearly every weekend, but that was before life and work became more important than family. Before everything went to shit with Casey.

A break-up is messy enough, but when your brother falls in love with your wife, it jumps to a whole new level of complicated.