I Can Explain (Awkward Love 2)

Josh thinks he knows everything that happened between Casey and me, but he doesn't know the half of it. Not that I'll ever tell him, because if he found out the truth, it would crush him. As much as I'm hurting, I don’t want my brother to suffer. I just want him to be happy.

“Fuck. I’m such a pussy,” I mutter to myself.

I shake my head at what a mess I am. I have every part of my life in place, except when it comes to the one thing I want. People assume that I'm this hard, intimidating guy who only cares about himself because that's what I want them to think. The truth is, I’m not. I'm the guy who’s jealous of his own brother because he's managed to achieve what I couldn't.

Putting Casey first.I arrive back at my apartment and toss my keys down on the counter as I pass through the kitchen. Peeling off my clothes, I stumble down to the bathroom and turn on the shower. I’m not that drunk, but I can barely keep my eyes open as I stand under the thick stream of water.

Turning off the taps, I step out and wrap the towel around my waist, then walk down to my bedroom. I quickly dry myself off and then climb onto the bed, collapsing face down into my pillows. I roll over and stare at the ceiling, too exhausted to bother covering myself up. As tired as I am, I can’t switch my mind off.

What a fucking day. Learning about Josh and Casey really topped it off. The only highlight was learning that the assistant to my assistant wants to suck my cock.Chapter Four

AlanaI will not embarrass myself today.

I figure if I say it enough, I’ll actually start to believe it.

I march through the revolving doors that lead into the office complex, a good ten minutes early. It’s something I don’t think I’ve done in my entire life because getting in on time is usually a struggle in itself. I’m feeling pretty good about myself because today is a new day. And then I remember that this is Chase, and I’m me. No doubt I’ll give him plenty of other reasons to fire me before five o’clock hits. At least he can’t be on my back for being late. Then again, I haven’t made it up to the office yet. I still had time to ruin this.

I impatiently press the button for the elevator, as if hitting it fifteen times is going to hurry the damn thing up. The doors eventually open and I step into the empty car and wait for the doors to close again. They’re just starting to creak shut when a hand appears out of nowhere, forcing them back open. I sigh because I was hoping to avoid small talk with someone I wasn’t really interested in chatting with. I keep my eyes on my phone, hoping I look too busy to interrupt.

“I’m going to assume you haven’t realized that it’s me, because ignoring your boss like this could be considered very rude.”

I freeze. That voice. Chase.

For a second, I contemplate fleeing, but it’s four stupid levels. If I can’t handle being in his presence for that short a time, I have no business being here at all.

“Sorry, I was busy with…”

My voice trails off, because admitting I’m trawling Facebook just feels wrong. He smirks at me, obviously enjoying my discomfort. This guy thrives on seeing me squirm and not in a good way. I hunch down and study my phone, so he can’t see the color rise up to my cheeks.

“Facebook?” he questions. I look up to find him peering over my shoulder. “If you’re finding yourself with too much spare time, I’d be happy to provide you with something to fill that space,” he murmurs.

I cringe and shove my phone back in my bag—the thought of him filling any space of mine is way too much.

“Thanks for the offer, but I think I’m okay,” I manage to reply.

My heart pounds in my chest as I stare straight ahead at the door. I’m trying to not focus on the sound of his breathing, but it’s hard when he insists on standing so close to me. Then, out of nowhere, his fingers are touching my waist. I jump and turn around to glare at him.

“Sorry, I lost my footing and stumbled right into you there for a second,” he says innocently. I frown because I can’t tell if he’s serious or not. “Don’t worry, Alana, I'm not going to bite,” he promises. His eyes shine as he adds, “That is, unless you want me to.”

My knees shake. I’m frozen on the spot and unable to move as my heart pounds out of control. The worst part is, the idea of him biting me or doing anything at all is turning me on to no end. My heart is beating so loud that I’m sure he can hear it. I step to the side, so I’m standing against the wall, not comfortable with being in front of him. Not because I don’t trust him, but because the idea of him looking at me is making me anxious.