Why am I even saying all of this? I don’t owe anyone an explanation, least of all him.
“Give me five minutes,” he pleads, a look of pain passing through his eyes.
I sigh and nod for him to come in. He points at the couch and motions for me to sit down. I sigh, but I do as he asks and sit, my hands clasped in front of me, waiting for his big piece of news that will change everything.
“He didn't cheat on Casey, Alana.”
I stare at him. “What?” I say, frowning. Now he’s lying too? Maybe it runs in the fucking family.
“It didn't happen like that.” He sighs and sits back in the chair, running both hands through his hair. “I’m sorry, but this is really hard for me to say.”
“Take your time,” I say, not sure what’s going on.
He nods. “Their marriage wasn’t a good one. Chase had one focus: his career. Casey struggled with not being put first in their relationship. He was working a lot and she couldn't handle that. She felt unloved and unwanted. A professor started paying attention to her. She rejected his advances, but after a while, she started to let things happen. That fling ended very badly one night. Naturally, she couldn't speak to Chase about it, so she called me.”
“She cheated first?” I mumble. He looks up at me, his eyes meeting mine.
“She was the only one who cheated, Alana.” He rubs his eyes and sighs. “I knew they were having issues, but I had no idea how bad things were. When I picked her up, I knew something major had happened. She panicked and told me that Chase had been cheating on her and that she’d caught him. She didn’t know what to do. She was so upset, and I was so angry at my brother for treating her like that.” He presses his lips together, still torn up over it. “Focusing on his career was one thing, but to turn to other women, when he had an amazing one at home waiting for him every night? That wasn’t right.”
“So, did you confront Chase?” I ask. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. “I don’t understand how she could get away with saying it was him. I mean, surely the first thing you would do is confront him?”
“I wanted to, but she begged me not to. She asked me to stay, because she didn’t want to be alone, and…” He stops, looking down at his hands. “I did something I’ll always regret that night. I told myself so many times that it was justified, because he cheated on her, but even if that were true, it would still be wrong.”
“Then what happened?” I ask softly. My heart races, thinking about how Chase must have felt when he found out.
He shrugs. “Casey kept calling me. I was the only person she could talk to. We grew closer, and I eventually realized that I was in love with her.” He groans and shakes his head. “The first thing Chase knew about any of this was when he caught us. The same night Casey asked him for a divorce. I’ll never forget the look in his eyes when he saw us like that. There was no anger or hate. It was worse than that. He was disappointed in me.”
“He caught you?” I whisper. Oh God. “Did he confront you or ask you why?” I mumble, my heart breaking for him.
“I think he was expecting it. Not us, but he knew she wasn’t happy. I hated that he could make me feel guilty when he was the one who wronged her, and I went crazy at him over it. I wanted answers. I asked him how he could cheat on her. He looked me in the eye and he shrugged.”
Josh raises his eyes to mine.
“Sometimes you hurt the people you love, even though you don’t mean it. That’s what he said to me,” he mutters. “All along, it was me hurting him.”
“How did you find out?” I whisper. I feel for the guy. God, I feel for both of them.
He laughs bitterly. “Believe it or not, Casey told me. She chose our wedding night to sit me down and tell me that she had been the one who’d cheated.” Josh shakes his head, angry. “You have no idea how it feels to discover that you’ve betrayed your own brother. And he did nothing about it. God, he stood there by my side and watched me marry the woman who fucking ruined his life. How am I supposed to live with myself after that?”
I shake my head, wishing that I had answers for him.
“I just don’t get why,” I say softly. “Why would he take the rap for it?”
Josh shrugs. “I guess he could see how happy I was. He knew how guilty I’d feel if I knew that she was the one who cheated, and I was one of the people she’d cheated with.”