I Can Explain (Awkward Love 2)

“I never thought I'd see you here.” I stiffen and look up into my brother’s eyes.

“What are you doing here?” I ask him gruffly. He shrugs and sits down next to me.

“Believe it or not, I come here a lot. It's a great place to think,” he says. I nod and look down at the ground.

“Casey told me everything,” he adds.

‘I know, I've just come from her place,” I mutter.

“Really, why?” he asks. I shrug, because I don't even know anymore.

“I should've told you the truth back then,” I admit. “I thought I was doing the right thing in looking out for you.”

“I know. I'm not angry at you, Chase. I know your heart was in the right place. I’ve known that since they died. You felt this need to look after me, and I'm sure that's what you thought you were doing by keeping this from me.” He reaches over and wraps his arm around my shoulder.

“I went to see Alana.”

“I know,” I growl.

“Jesus, is there anything you don’t know? How do you know?” he asks with a frown.

“Because I was sitting at the front of her place and I saw you leave.”

“Why were you sitting there?” he asks shaking his head in confusion. “And if you got that far, why didn’t you just go up and try and talk to her?”

“Don't you think I’ve tried that?” I bark at him, annoyed. “I do that a thousand times a day. I call her, send a text, I knock on her door; she doesn't want anything to do with me.”

“So, you try again,” Josh argues. “You’re the one who taught me never to give up. Remember? You made me see that anything is possible if you believe in yourself. And now you’re going back on that?” He sighs, taking a moment to compose himself. “Look. Do me a favor and give it one last chance. Go there and try and talk to her, because this time I'm confident that she’ll listen to you.”

“Because you told her the truth?” I frown.

“I did tell her,” he admits. “But it wasn’t to hurt you, Chase. I just know how stubborn you are. By the time you figured out she needed the truth, you’d have lost her.”

“It wasn’t your call to make,” I mutter.

“Just like covering for Casey wasn’t your call?” he asks gently. I flush. “I was angry at you at first, but then I realized you were just trying to protect me.” He reaches over and pats me on the shoulder. “You’ve been carrying around my burden for too long. Let it go. Let me deal with this, okay?”

I nod and get to my feet. “Fine. I’ll try and talk to her again, then.” I turn and wait for Josh to get up, but he doesn’t. Instead, he shakes his head and smiles at me.

“I think I’ll stay here for a little while. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?”After five minutes of relentless knocking on Alana’s door, I sigh and turn around. I lean against the door, my hands shoved deep in my pockets. She's not there. Either that, or Josh was wrong, and she is in there, but she doesn’t want to talk to me. I throw my hands up, frustrated. Either way, it doesn’t matter, because I can't do this anymore, at least not tonight.

I drive home, trying to block all thoughts of her out of my head. When I exit the elevator on my floor, I stop in my tracks, because there she is, sitting at the front of my apartment. She looks up, her eyes widening, like I’ve caught her off guard. Perhaps she was expecting more of a warning. She gets to her feet.

“Can we talk?” she asks, her expression uncertain.

“That's all I’ve wanted for the last three days.” I say with a frown.

“I know. I'm sorry,” she says, her eyes glassy. She takes a deep breath and takes my hand. Then she laughs. “God, I had everything I wanted to say worked out in my head, and now it’s all gone to shit.”

“I’m the one who should be sorry, Alana,” I murmur. I entwine her fingers around mine, my eyes not leaving hers. “I should've told you the truth from the beginning, as soon as we got to the wedding. The whole truth. Not just—”

She puts her finger to my lips, shutting me up.

“It's okay,” she says. “I lied about something too.”

“Oh?” I say, my heart racing.

She nods, a smile creeping across her lips. “When I said I wanted to talk, I really meant something else…”

I chuckle as she takes my hand and leads me into the bedroom.

Wrapping her arms around my neck, she kisses me on the lips. I groan as her fingers move down over my chest, her fingers frantically working to undo the buttons on my shirt. She frees the last one and then peels it off me, tossing it on the floor. With a raised eyebrow and a cheeky smirk, she moves down to my pants, unbuckling as she presses her lips against mine. I groan and shrug them off, along with my boxers.