It's Complicated (Awkward Love 1)

“Hey, Anna,” he says. God, I’d forgotten how sexy his voice is. What, in the twelve hours it’s been since you last spoke to him?

“Fuck off,” I hiss.

“Uh, excuse me?” Nick asks, raising his eyebrows.

I blush furiously. “Nothing,” I mutter. “Just remembered something I was supposed to do.”

“Sure. Are you coming inside, or…?” He stares at me inquisitively. I nod and walk inside, following him into the living room. The kids look up and smile at me.

“Anna,” Milly grins, giving me a small wave.

“Hey, Milly,” I say, walking over to her. “Look at your hair! It’s getting so long. I’m so jealous,” I say, narrowing my eyes. “My hair won’t grow past here,” I say, marking a point halfway down my back. She smiles proudly, curling a thick strand of it around her finger.

“I brush it every single night,” she says. “Daddy told me that’s the only way it will grow. Maybe you should try that?”

I hold back a giggle and take her eight-year-old advice with a solemn expression on my face.

“Mill. Teeth and bed, okay?” Nick calls out.

“Okay,” she sighs. She rolls her eyes at me as if I can relate to how inconvenienced she’s being. I chuckle and watch her disappear into the bathroom.

“God help me when she’s a teenager,” Nick mutters as he walks past me.I tuck Milly into bed and read her a story while Nick does the same for Max. Within five minutes of spending time with that beautiful little girl, I'm so glad that I came over. It’s so easy to forget that Nick didn’t just lose his wife, but these kids lost their mother. I couldn’t even imagine how hard that would’ve been on them.

My mother leaving me was her choice, and I’ve always been here if she wanted to change that. I never really knew what was missing when it came to having a mom. Milly got to experience that for six years, and then it was taken from her. In that situation, you don’t appreciate the time you’ve had; you’re angry at the time you’ve lost. At least, I would be.I walk out of Milly's bedroom and into the living room. Nick is sitting on the couch when I walk in. He glances up at me and smiles. “Would you like a wine?” He asks getting up. He winces. “Hold up—are you even old enough?”

“I’m twenty-two,” I retort, arching my eyebrow. Like he doesn’t know.

“Holy shit, how did that happen?” he mumbles, shaking his head. “I guess part of me still thinks of you as Dan’s little girl. I remember when we first moved here, you’d babysit the kids while Mars and I went out.”

I smile fondly at the memory. I’d been about seventeen then and desperate for my own set of wheels. Dad refused to buy me a car, so I did everything I could to earn the cash to buy one. It took me twelve months, but I did it. Nick stares wistfully off into space. I feel bad, because it probably never gets easier, losing someone you love.

“I always liked Marley,” I say. I frown, wishing I could take that back. The last thing he probably wants is me talking about his dead wife.

“Yeah, she was a good one. I was lucky to know her,” he says.

“It must be hard, moving on from that kind of connection with someone,” I say.

He glances at me and smiles. “It is, but I have to do it, you know? I’ve spent the last few years so focused on providing for my kids that I’d forgotten how to live. I think I hit a point where I realized that I was hurting them by not letting myself move on.”

We’re both quiet for a moment, each lost in our own thoughts. This had turned out to be much more intense—and less awkward—than I’d been expecting. I was seeing a side to Nick that I hadn’t seen before and seeing things in myself that I’ve never picked up on. Maybe Dad is right. Maybe I did need to focus less on study and put myself out there. If a guy who lost his wife and is raising two kids alone can do it, surely, I can, too?

“Well, I guess I'd better get back home,” I mumble.

“Sure,” he says. “You sound like you’ve got somewhere to be. Hot date with the books?” he teases. I narrow my eyes at him. He chuckles. “Hey, I’m just teasing. Thanks for coming over. I really appreciate it, even though I know your dad probably made you do it.”

“He persuaded me, yes, but I’m actually glad I came over. I had a nice chat with Milly. I think she misses having a girl to talk to. I guess she wouldn’t get that too often.” I pause. “Unless you bring…” I stop because what I was about to blurt out was both insensitive and none of my business. The problem is, I was halfway through saying it, so it’s hanging in the air like bad karaoke.