It's Complicated (Awkward Love 1)

I have no fucking idea where I’m going to land.The next morning when I wake up, my stomach is churning at the thought of facing Anna. I jump into the shower, thinking it will help, but all the sensation of the water running over my body and thinking about her does is work me up. Pretty soon I find myself jacking off to relieve some tension, with her as my muse, which just makes me feel worse all over again.

To be honest, just the idea of being around her is scaring the hell out of me, since I obviously can’t control myself. What am I going to say to her after seeing what I saw, and then doing what I did? This has gone on for way too long. I need to put a stop to it before it gets out of hand.

This is the first Saturday in months where I’m not working, so I have a big day planned with the kids. The only reason I’ve asked Anna along was to give Milly a bit of a female influence. My excitement for the day ahead of me quickly changed.

Apparently, spending the weekend hiking with your dad is lame, and friends are cool because no sooner than breakfast is over, they start hounding me about going to their friend’s houses. I agree, only because the thought of spending the day with Anna is too much for me to handle right now, and this is the perfect excuse to get out of it. Without them here, there is nothing for her to do, right?

Except for me. She can do me any time.

No. Not you. She can never can do you.

“What the hell is wrong with me?” I gasp, shaking my head in disgust.

A knock sounds on the door, interrupting my internal argument. I gather up the courage to answer it, knowing it’s going to be her. When I open the door, she stands in front of me looking incredibly sexy in a dark blue dress that matches her eyes. My gaze trails over her body as I imagine what she has on underneath that dress. Or what she doesn’t. Fuck. I shift positions as my cock begins to react. She smiles at me, and I smile back, confident that my awkwardness is showing.

“Hey. Come in,” I mumble.

I stalk off into the living room where I throw myself on the couch. The best way for me to disguise my semi erection was to sit down, even when it seems entirely inappropriate. She eyes me strangely, but I pretend not to notice.

“Uh, so, where are the kids?” she asks, glancing around. If she’s as nervous as I am, she sure isn’t showing it. Maybe last night was all just a dream. I could almost make myself believe that.

“They’re in their rooms, but they won’t be for long,” I say.

“Pardon?” she laughs. “Where are they going? I thought we were going hiking?”

“That was the idea,” I growl. “But apparently, Milly just has to go over and see Indigo, and Max just has to go over and play Jackson’s new videogame.”

“Ah,” Anna says with a grin. “To be young again.” I stare at her and chuckle. She narrows her eyes at me. “What?” she says indignantly.

“To be young again?” I chortle. “What are you, twenty-two? You're hardly hitting middle-age.”

“I meant to be a child again, you smartass,” she replies, rolling her eyes. “You know, brushing off your parents in favor of your friends.”

She looks down at her hands. They’re fidgeting like crazy like she’s embarrassed about something. Because she's probably thinking about last night. I hesitate, not sure whether to address it or just leave it. In the end, I decide I can't make things worse by bringing it up. I glance at the door to make sure the kids are out of sight.

“So, about last night,” I begin.

She squeezes her eyes shut. “Please don't say it.”

“I thought it might be less awkward if we address it,” I say. As soon as I say it, I realize that I couldn’t have been more wrong. What part of me thought this was a good idea? Of course, she wouldn’t want to talk about it. Hell, I didn’t want to talk about it.

Why am I bringing this up?!

“Trust me, nothing could ever, ever be less awkward than talking about this with you,” she whispers. The poor girl looks mortified. “Look, I don't know why I did that last night. I wanted to be bold and spontaneous...” She shakes her head, embarrassed. “But I can assure you that it won't happen again.”

“Fuck that, I'm glad it happened.”

Holy shit, did I say that out loud? She looks up at me, surprised like she can’t believe I said that. Hell, I can't believe it either, because I’d meant to say it under my breath.