“So, Dan isn’t happy that you like Anna?” Max asks, furrowing his brow, getting us back on point. “Why?”
“Because she’s his daughter and I guess he wants better for her,” I say with a sigh. It kills me that I’m good enough to be his friend, but not good enough for his daughter.
“But you’re a great person,” Max says seriously. “He should be happy she likes someone who will take such good care of her.”
I smile at him. “Thanks, Max,” I say, my voice thick with emotion.
I’m not the kind of guy who cries. Ever. But if I were, this moment right here would’ve gotten me. I wrap my arms around my kids and squeeze the hell out of them until they groan and struggle out of my reach.
Every day, I struggle with being a single parent. I’m constantly worried that I’m fucking things up or that I could be doing something better. I often wonder if they would’ve turned out differently if Marley was still alive.
Like any parent, I just want what is best for them. I want them to turn into great people, and I want to be proud of who they’ve become. But more than anything else, I want them to be proud of me. So, hearing my son tell me that Anna was lucky to have me pretty much made my night. Hell, that comment made my life.I spend most of the day with the kids, including an impromptu picnic dinner on the roof involving leftover sandwiches, soda, and old fruit. After I’ve settled them in bed, I hunt down the captain to see about turning this boat back home, only to find out that Dan has already requested it. I’m kind of relieved that we’re already en route, but it also cements how angry he is at the both of us.
I knock on Anna’s door. She doesn’t answer, so I figure she’s either sleeping or with Kayla somewhere. Sighing, I glance around, at a loss at what to do next. I was half expecting Dan to be manning her door to keep me out of her room. The fact that he isn’t—I’m not sure if it’s a good sign or not. In the end, I give up and go to bed, where I end up staring at the ceiling for what feels like hours.I lie there awake, for most of the night, going over the situation in my head. The more I think about it, the more unrealistic I think Dan is being. I won’t apologize for who I’ve fallen in love with, because if I do, then that makes our relationship wrong and dirty. I pause and think about what I just said. Who I’ve fallen in love with…I’m in love with her.
Holy shit.
I smile because, to be honest, being in love again feels pretty damn awesome, especially since I’ve managed to find the one woman who really gets me. If Dan thinks I’m going to give that up, just because he can’t get his thick head around us being together, then he has another thing coming. I’ll lose our friendship before I lose her.It’s just after six when I finally drag myself out of bed and head to the kitchen. I’m the first person up, and honestly, I'm glad because the last thing I feel like doing is making small talk with anyone. I haven’t seen Anna since yesterday, and my few texts have gone unreplied to. I don’t know if she needs space, or if being on this boat with me and her dad is just too much for her to deal with, but I feel like she’s avoiding me.
After making myself a coffee, I sit down at the table and stare into the cup of amber liquid. The door squeaks open. I look up to see Mandy standing there. I’m embarrassed and ashamed that she had to witness everything that happened yesterday.
God knows what she thinks of me.
“Hey, I can go somewhere else if you want to be alone...” she says. I’m sure I see her cringe. I shake my head, even though I’d love for her not to be here.
“Don’t be silly,” I mutter. “Come in.”
She nods and walks over to make a coffee, then sits down at the other end of the long table. If that doesn’t spell awkward, then nothing does. She must realize it, too, because she moves three seats closer to me.
She hesitates, then looks at me. “I know it’s none of my business, but he’ll calm down eventually,” she says.
“Will he?” I ask. I’m not sure I agree. “I’ve never seen him this angry, and I’ve known him for a long time.”
“He's just upset. He feels betrayed. And I'm not even sure how much of it is that you're with Anna and how much is that he feels like you both went behind his back.”