The hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Ronnie is a scumbag, but I don’t think he would resort to that. I get a sick feeling in my stomach though, and against my better judgment, call my mom.
“Emmaline,” she says through the phone. There’s a faint note of surprise in her voice.
“Hey, mom… I just wanted to make sure things are still okay at home. You know, I mean, between you and, uh…” I trail off, feeling stupid. “Is Ronnie treating you okay? After Logan came, I was worried-”
“It’s nothing I can’t handle.”
Her voice sounds strange. Strained and soft. “Are you okay, mom?”
I hear her sniff. There’s a pause as the sounds of her crying come over the phone. Despite everything she’s put me through, I hate hearing her upset. “What did he do to you?” I ask, voice hard.
“It’s not that, honey. It’s just... Look, I did some thinking about everything. I think I’ve asked too much outta you. I was wanting to tell you that, but I didn’t know how to say it. Okay? I haven’t done right by you, Emmaline.”
I stop in my tracks, staring down at the sidewalk while my vision blurs from tears. I want to just take her apology and savor it. I want to accept this at face value, selfishly storing the words away to repeat in my head over and over until some of the pain of betrayal starts to melt away. But I can’t. I see Ronnie’s face and his hand reaching for me and I know something more is going on.
“Mom, what happened?” I ask.
There’s a long pause and I hear a chair creak. “Ronnie and I have always fought, you know that. Sometimes he does take it too far and he gets physical, but it’s only when he has been drinking. I know when to keep my distance and when I can stand my ground. I’ve adapted and learned. It’s just, um,” she says, voice shaking.
It breaks my heart to hear her like this. She has tried to take advantage of me so many times I’ve lost count, but she has always been a survivor and she has always been a fighter. She does what she has to to get by, even if it means trying to get money out of her only daughter. I don’t know if I’ve ever heard her sound vulnerable before, and I don’t like it. It has a protectiveness I haven’t felt in a long time welling up inside me.
“Two nights ago it was really bad. I threatened to call the cops and he told me he’d--” She sniffs and pauses, needing to gather herself before she continues. “He told me he’d “fucking kill my bitch ass” if I dared. I’ve heard worse from him before, but I never believed him before. He was in the kitchen and his hand was resting on this big knife and I actually thought he might do it.”
“I’m going to get you out of that trailer, mom. You can’t stay with him anymore.”
“I can’t just leave. Do you know what he’d do if I left him?”
“I’m worried about what he’s going to do if you stay!” I force myself to breathe more slowly when I realize I’m shouting into my phone on a deserted sidewalk in the middle of the night. The memory of Ronnie and my conversation with my mom gets my feet moving again, more quickly than before. I need to just get inside, where it’s safe.
“I wouldn’t know what to do without him.”
“None of that matters right now. The most important thing is that you get somewhere safe. We can call the police and let them sort the rest out.”
She sighs. “I can’t afford a place on my own, Emmaline. And I couldn’t stay here. You’d have to lend me some money.”
For once, I don’t resent her for trying to get money out of me. I realize with a wave of sadness that my first debt-free credit card is going to go back into the red very soon. “That’s fine. I’ll work something out with you. You should come to my house tonight and we’ll find a place for you tomorrow.”
It takes a little more convincing, but I finally get my mom to agree to stay with me tonight. Once I get inside, I don’t even have the energy to shower. I just collapse on the couch, staring at the ceiling.
I spend a few minutes trying to decide if I should call Logan. It’s not hard to imagine how that might play out. I call Logan. Logan confronts Ronnie. They fight and someone gets hurt. Nothing is resolved.
No. The answer is just to get my mom somewhere safe, call the police in the morning, and hope they can pick Ronnie up and scare him into leaving us alone.