Sophie’s expression fell, but she plastered a pained smile on. “You tried. Yeah. But you need me, Cassian. You need someone. Otherwise, you’re going to destroy yourself.”
“I never asked to be saved.”
She let her hands fall to her lap, then tugged her skirt down a little. “The ones who really need saving usually don’t.”
“Yeah? Well, I fucked someone else this morning. Still want to be my savior?”
Sophie got up suddenly and pushed her way out of the room. I felt a small stab of guilt in my chest. She was a better person than most of the girls who tried to hook up with me. I’d give her that. It was also probably the same reason I shouldn’t feel guilty for being a dick to her. If she was a nice person, the least I could do was chase her away.
“Charming, as always.” Gage thumbed through an airplane magazine.
“The fuck is that?”
He pointed at the magazine. “This? I don’t know. Somebody’s dad is into airplanes, I guess? I needed something to do while I babysat you.”
“What is with everyone thinking I can’t take care of myself tonight?”
“I don’t know? The fact that you can’t, probably.”
“Bullshit.”
“This is a Calvary High party. I don’t know if you remembered, but half their football team tried to murder you on the field. There’s still bad blood, and you’re trying to get blackout drunk on the couch here. What do you think would happen if you passed out and nobody was watching your back?”
Fragments of memory came back. It was true. I knew exactly where I was. And I think part of me had wanted something to happen. Someone to give me the beating I probably deserved. “Are Tristan and Logan here, too?”
“Logan, yeah. Tristan didn’t want to bring Kennedy here, given the circumstances.”
“Pussy.”
“Did somebody say pussy?” Logan put me in a headlock from behind.
I stripped his muscle-clad arms off my neck and shoved him away. Grinning, he came and sat on the opposite end of the couch. “Drunken beauty finally woke from his stupor, I see.”
“Is Hugh here?” I asked.
Logan and Gage shared a dubious look.
“Where is he? No, you know what? Fuck it. I can find him myself. I’ve been meaning to thank him for being such a coward that he goes after a girl instead of me.”
Logan and Gage both tried to hold me back, but I fought free and headed deeper into the party. “Hugh!” I shouted. “Where the fuck is Hugh?”
Gradually, the sounds of conversation died down. A few seconds later, someone killed the music.
“Who’s asking?” Hugh came down from the stairs with what looked like the entire defensive unit from their football team.
“The guy who is going to kick your ass.” Truthfully speaking, I was the guy who was so drunk I could hardly see straight. But I had too much rage boiling away inside me. I needed an outlet, and every time I thought of Hugh and whatever he’d been planning that night he and Marcus cornered Charli, I felt like killing him.
“There are seven of them,” Gage said. “Three of us. I know your counting skills are probably suffering right now, but—”
“Good. Then they have a chance.”
Logan sighed. “If they kick our asses, I’m blaming you, Cassian.”30CharliIt was past midnight and I was sitting in my bed, staring at my phone. My dad had sent me a text a few hours ago, and I’d been desperately trying to decide if I wanted to respond.
Dad: Still mad?
My dad was technologically challenged. Typing a few syllables on a phone was probably a stretch for him as it was, so I couldn’t read too much into his phrasing. Instead, I needed to look at the fact that he’d reached out again. Even after the tongue lashing I gave him at the house, he was still reaching out.
If I had to decide, I’d say that counted for something, even if it wasn’t a whole hell of a lot.
And my experience with Cassian had somehow made me feel softer towards my dad. I’d had my own brush with weakness—with letting instinct overrule my good sense. I’d let him take my virginity even when I still actively hated him, and if I couldn’t avoid taking my clothes off for the boy who tortured me, could I still condemn my dad?
But forgiving him felt like mental gymnastics. I was bending through unlikely hoops and trying to stretch my brain into unnatural positions.
He was a grown man when it all happened, and he had a responsibility as a father.
The door opened downstairs. Normally, I wouldn’t have thought much of hearing Cassian come home late at night. For all I knew, he regularly went out and slept with girls at parties, or whatever guys like him did.
As much as I wanted that thought to feel like an offhand, inconsequential thing, the idea of him hooking up with another girl made my stomach turn.