Ruthless Love (Ash and Innocence 1)

Oblivious to this, another group of people were inside, dancing and grinding on each other in the living room. When I’d gone to get something from my room a few minutes ago, I walked in on a threesome in my bed. I’d kicked them out, locked my door again, and made a mental note to wash every damn thing in my room. I wanted the house trashed, but I still had to sleep in that bed.

There was even a background roar of engines revving while kids in oversized trucks drove reckless circles behind the house, churning up mud and sliding their vehicles around a makeshift course they’d made into a sort of racetrack.

I stood in the middle of it all, drink in hand, feeling like the composer of a twisted orchestra. And then I felt a small hand on my arm.

Kennedy’s wide eyes were looking up at me. “What is all this?”

Just seeing the way she looked at me felt like it made my guts twist. It was bad enough that I’d learned she didn’t even have the slightest clue about what I was trying to hide all this time—to know I’d been punishing her for nothing. When I looked at her face, I saw myself.

“A party,” I said.

“I heard that from my room.” Her voice was careful, measured.

The moment was a crossroads moment. I could undo the damage I’d already done right now. Tell her the truth and try to work together to fix it. But that was the selfish option. I’d only be trying to spare myself the sting of feeling her drift farther and farther away from me. Even without her mom or my dad in the picture, I’d seen glimpses of it in her face already—the way she looked at me when she saw me drinking. Like my parents, she was judging me for squandering my potential. It would’ve only been a matter of time before I screwed this up on my own, so I might as well fast-track it.

“Thirsty?” I said. I pointed my drink to a table by the front door where people had set up enough liquor and kegs to fuel a bar for a few days.

“I’m okay.”

I felt it again. That silent judgment. It made me want to drink more. “Yeah, well, I gotta go check on some shit. I heard people breaking stuff upstairs.”

Kennedy was looking at me like she was worried about me, and it pissed me off more.

“Catch you later, Wheels.”

I grabbed an entire bottle of liquor on my way inside. Tonight, was about destruction, and Kennedy had stumbled into the fire. I guessed it was better that she get a taste of what it would really be like to trust me with her heart now.33KennedyI watched Tristan go, feeling helpless. I stood in the front yard, barely noticing the chaos all around me. I wanted to go after him. Logan’s advice still rang in my head. He’d told me to keep trying if I cared.

I did care, and right now, I thought chasing after him would only make him push me away more. I decided I’d see him at school tomorrow before his game and let him know I was still here—that I still cared and worried about him. I wasn’t mad that he was trying to push me away, either.

I was about to leave when a guy who looked too old to be in high school walked up to me. He might have been in college, but I couldn’t be sure.

“You’re too cute to be all by yourself,” he said. “I’m Grant.” Grant had squinty eyes with a strong nose and jaw. He might’ve been attractive in a way, but the only thing I got from him were creepy vibes.

“I have a boyfriend, he’s just inside.” I pointed to the house behind him.

The guy looked, then turned back to me, shrugging. “If I was your boyfriend, I wouldn’t leave you alone.”

I forced a tight smile. “Yeah, well, you’re not my boyfriend and you’re still not leaving me alone. So…” I left him standing there, turning to leave. I felt a little bad for being rude. But I had a feeling he wasn’t going to take “no” for an answer. I walked quickly, still distantly relishing the fact that I was walking, not rolling. But my excitement was cut short once I’d made it about a quarter of the way down the wooded path back to my house.

I heard quickly approaching footsteps. When I turned, I saw the guy with two of his friends come to a slow stop a few feet away from me. “Where are you going so fast?” He asked. “We were just talking.”

My heart was in my throat. I thought about running, but the guys looked athletic. I doubted I’d make it far before they caught up to me. I could scream, but who would hear me? The music from the party was loud, even from here.