I didn’t care, though. He had made mistakes and he didn’t always say the perfect thing, but he made me stronger. I liked to think I helped him, too. Those times with him had been some of the only moments in my life I hadn’t felt like I was just an obligation to someone. I’d actually seen him changing for the better. He had been happier, and I had been part of that.
“Tristan!” I shouted.
He stopped, turning to look at me.
“Would you mind coming to check on me tomorrow?”
He gave a little salute, then kept walking to his house. Unless I was imagining it, he seemed to be walking happier, somehow.
I smiled to myself. I could understand why Tristan had done the things he did. The more time I had to process, the more I could see that he was just trying to protect me. The only thing that still didn’t sit well was how that is exactly what my mom had been trying to do, too.
I didn’t know how things between Tristan and I were going to go. I just knew I wasn’t ready to give up on him. Not yet.42TristanI let myself in Kennedy’s window that night. She was fast asleep, and her covers were up to her neck. I smiled down at her. She looked so painfully pure and perfect sleeping there. I had another moment of doubt. How could I even think I deserved a chance again with someone like her?
She was good down to her core, and I was pretty sure my core was shriveled and black.
Then again, she made me feel like I was capable of something else. With her, I’d started to learn to do the right thing occasionally. To choose someone else before myself.
I thought about waking her up, but settled on fixing the covers, which had lifted so one of her feet was sticking out. I kissed her forehead, then let myself back out of her window as quietly as I could.
The next morning, I came in through her window again. She half screamed when I landed with a thud on her carpet.
“Jesus,” she said, lifting a towel to cover herself. Apparently, she had just gotten out of the shower. She was also walking, already, even though she looked somewhat unsteady on her feet. “When I told you to check on me, I meant by knocking on the door like a normal person.”
“Force of habit,” I said. I took off my shoes and got on her bed, spreading my legs out and threading my fingers behind my head.
“Make yourself comfortable,” she said with a sideways grin. Kennedy dug through a dresser and pulled out a handful of clothes, then disappeared into the bathroom.
I wasn’t ashamed to admit that I was still a guy. No matter how dramatic, sad, or confusing things had become, there was one thing I could rely on: my dick was a simple-minded tool. It didn’t care about anything except the fact that Kennedy was probably naked behind that door. Thankfully, my dick didn’t rule me, so I could get a hard-on without doing something stupid like trying to make a pass at her—especially not now.
Her mom just got carted off and Kennedy was going to be dealing with legal battles in the near future. She was living alone in a house she probably wasn’t sure she’d be able to keep or afford. Her life had been completely upended. The last thing she needed was—
There was a thump from the bathroom.
I rushed to my feet, yanking the door open. Kennedy was just in her underwear, but I hardly noticed. She was groggily rubbing her shoulder.
“What happened?” I asked, carefully helping her to stand.
“Maybe I ditched the chair a little early?” She said. “Honestly, I feel kind of…” she blinked a few times, then crouched in front of the toilet and threw up.
I held her hair back until she seemed to have thoroughly emptied her stomach. I wetted a rag, then helped clean her mouth off before carrying her to the bed. I set her down and pulled the covers up for her.
She looked pale, too. When I put my hand to her forehead, she was burning up.
“I felt mostly fine this morning. Maybe my shower was too hot.”
“You just quit like twenty medications cold turkey. You’re probably going through withdrawal from some of them already.”
“Oh,” she said faintly. “Should I stay home from school?”
“I’ll call a doctor and get them to make a house call. And yes, dumbass. You need to stay home.”
“Mean,” she said, smiling faintly.
I grinned.
A doctor came and saw her around noon. He confirmed my suspicions. He said she was going to probably be in for a rough few days while her body got through the withdrawal stage but suggested she could wean herself off instead of quitting outright.