Instead of walking in, I linger in the doorway and watch her play, getting lost in her singing. Lyric has an incredibly beautiful voice that gives our band an edge. I could probably listen to her sing all day long, if she’d let me. While she’s okay with her stage fright, she gets nervous when people watch her sing, including me. She conquers the fright, though, every time she steps up on stage, which makes her that much more amazing.
As the song ends, she scrunches up her nose, clearly frustrated. She must be trying to work out something with the tune because the song turns right back on. She lines her finger to the guitar strings and her lips part, but she freezes when she notices me.
A smile spreads across her face, and her green eyes light up. “Hey, I was just thinking about you.”
I don’t know how she can look so happy to see me. She tells me all the time it’s because I make her happy. That has to be a lie. Lyric is just an upbeat person. She smiles about ninety percent of the time, laughs the other nine percent of the time, and that one percent is for the rare occurrences when she’s sad.
“Weird. I was just thinking about you too before I came over,” I say with a small smile.
“That’s because we can clearly read each other’s minds.” She sets down the guitar and stands to her feet, stretching out her arms and legs.
“If that’s the case, then what am I thinking right now?” I ask as my eyes wander up and down her body.
“Hmmm . . .” She taps her finger against her lips with a sparkle in her eyes. “That you so want to kiss me right now.”
My lips quirk in amusement. “How’d you guess?”
“Because it’s always what you’re thinking about,” she teases as she crosses the room toward me. “Morning, noon, and night, you can’t get my kisses out of your head. Because they’re that awesome.”
“And apparently mind controlling,” I joke, already feeling better.
“Well duh. Awesome kisses have to have the awesome power of mind control; otherwise, what’d make them awesome?” She grins, placing her hands on my shoulders.
“Maybe your kisses are just awesome because you’re you,” I suggest, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.
Her attitude shifts from playfully joking to intensely wanting. I know what she wants, so I dip my lips and give it to her. I kiss her softly at first, but the longer our tongues tangle the more I begin to tip sideways on that wire. I just want to let go. Tumble off and never get back on.
I back her up, kissing her passionately until our legs bump the side of the bed. We fall onto the mattress and she giggles against my lips. The sound makes me smile, but the light mood immediately heats up again as my hands travel up and down her sides, across her breasts and her waist. I kiss her with every ounce of emotion I have in me, but my body trembles as she parts her legs and grinds her hips against me. I fight the urge to stop, refuse to let the past control me.
I won’t go there anymore.
Back into the dark
Where I’m lost and all alone.
I won’t let them control me anymore.
“My parents aren’t home,” she whispers against my mouth as I slip my hand under her shirt.
I nod, even though she wasn’t really asking me a question. Not straightforwardly anyway. I know her well enough to understand what she wants without her flat out asking for it.
I push back, grab the bottom of her shirt, and fumble to pull it over her head. Once it’s off, I toss it onto the floor.
She stares up at me with her intensely green eyes as her fingers wander to the hem of my T-shirt. “Can I?” Her voice is soft as she carries my gaze.
I swallow hard then nod, wishing she didn’t have to ask. Wishing I was strong enough to just get over my issues so I could be the kind of laidback, carefree guy she deserves. But it’ll take time before I’ll ever be able to jump off that wire without the inner fight rising inside me. I’m starting to believe that one day I’ll get there, though, which is more than I could say a few months ago.
She sits up and I lean back so she can pull my shirt over my head. Then she tosses it onto the floor and splays her fingers across the tattoo on my side. She traces the lines of the feathers that form a phoenix, then her hands skate downward toward the top of my jeans. I shiver out of fear, out of want, my mind racing so quickly I barely register when she asks if this is okay. I dazedly nod and she skims her fingers back and forth across my lower abdomen, just below my waistband before she tugs on my belt loop, pulling me against her as she collapses onto the bed.
I stick my hands out to brace the fall, but she yanks on my jeans again until I lower my lips to hers. I kiss her slowly, taking my time, memorizing every inch of her mouth as my hands explore her body. The longer the kiss goes on, the more complicated it becomes to breathe, but in the best fucking way possible.
I don’t care if I die.
If I ever breathe again.
Just let this kiss go on forever.
Let it carry me away
To someplace better.
Where it’s just Lyric and I
No past, only the future.
Let me be with her.
Let me get through this.
Let me get to a forever.
I move back to remove her bra, then I crash my mouth to hers again as our chests collide. A shudder ripples through my body from the skin-to-skin contact. Fear resides inside me, underneath a sea of want, stirring.
Don’t forget.
Don’t forget.
Don’t forget.
What was done to you.
Don’t forget that we own you.
Don’t forget.
Don’t forget.
Don’t forget.
I won’t let it consume me. Won’t let the past ruin this moment.
No more. I’m stronger than this—than they are.
Shoving the memory out of my mind, I focus on her lips, how incredibly soft they feel against my mouth, how her warmth engulfs me, and the pleading whimpers she makes as my hand wanders to the top of her shorts. My fingers linger there for a while as I fumble with the button. Once I get it undone, Lyric shimmies out of her shorts and kicks them onto the floor.
I take in her long legs, smooth skin, and beautiful green eyes. “I don’t . . .” My fingers shake as I sketch a line up the inside of her thigh. “Are you sure you want me to touch you like—”
She pushes up and slams her lips against mine, answering my question. As we lie back down on the bed, my finger slips inside her, and I instantly become lost in everything that’s Lyric. The way she lets me touch her. The way I’m the only one who gets to see her like this. The way she trusts me. How fucking gorgeous she is. How amazing her smile is. How amazing she is.
“Ayden.” She moans my name as her eyes shut and she clutches onto my shoulders.
Good God, I’m about to lose it. Seriously. Somehow between the fear and uncertainty, desire has completely taken over. I don’t even care that she’s touching my shoulders, my chest, my stomach. All I can think about is getting to see her like this.
Once she comes apart, I brush her hair out of her eyes, place a tender kiss her lips, then roll on my side, letting my mind slow down.
“Are you okay?” she asks, rolling over and facing me.
I bob my head up and down. “I’m fine.” When she still looks concerned, I take her hand and place it on my chest. My heart thrashes as my adrenaline soars. “I promise I’m okay.” I swallow hard. “I love you and I trust you.” To prove it to her, I move her hand down my chest, across my stomach, all over my scarred skin. It’s tortuously confusing because I fear being touched yet at the same time, I want her to touch me more.
Want. Fear. Want. Fear.
So closely tied together.
How can I untie them?
And make them come apart.
“I love you too,” she says.
Sometimes it feels so unreal when I’m with her, like I’m dreaming. Maybe I am. Maybe I’m really still stuck in that house and thi
s is all just a dream, my mind’s way of coping with what happened to me. If that’s the case, then let me die in the dream, never wake up.
“No matter what you think, no matter how much you say you’re not good enough for me, no matter what, I love you, Ayden,” she says, as if she senses where my thoughts are heading.
Even though my body is quivering from her hands’ exploration, my lips manage to turn upward. “That kind of sounds like the start of a song.”
She leans over me, her hair veiling around my face. “What can I say? I guess you just inspire me.”
“You inspire me too.”