“About . . .” He drags his fingers through his hair and puffs out a breath. “About us.”
My expression fizzles to a frown. “It’s never a good sign when someone is over analyzing their relationship.”
“No, it’s a good thing this time. I swear.” He strides toward me, stopping only inches away, panic gleaming in his eyes. “I don’t want to be a selfish person, but I can’t stop myself from wanting to be with you. When I saw that letter . . . I realized how easily I could lose you and how much it’d kill me if it happened.”
I thread my fingers through his. “Then don’t lose me. Be with me.”
“It’s not that simple.” He lets out a frustrated breath. “Every time something happens, I can’t help but worry that something bad’s going to happen to you and it’ll be my fault.”
“Nothing’s going to happen to me,” I press.
“You don’t know that for sure,” he mutters.
“Okay, you know what, I don’t.” I tug on his arm, pulling him closer to me. “But something bad could happen at any moment, even while we’re standing here. Like the roof could cave in and crush me. That wouldn’t be your fault, and you can’t control it from not happening.”
“Why would the roof cave in?” he questions with a trace of a ghost smile.
I give a half shrug. “I don’t know, maybe that foul stench is rotting it away.”
He chuckles but then his mood nosedives. “I get your point, but I don’t think you’re getting mine.”
“Okay . . .” I study him closely. “Could you explain it to me then, because apparently, my mind-reading skills are a little wonky right now.”
“You were right about what you said . . . That no one smiles anymore. Not even you.”
“I smile.” I grin just to prove my point.
“But not as much as you used to.”
“Ayden, that’s not your fault—”
He places his finger to my lips, shushing me. “I’m not saying it’s my fault. I’m just saying that you deserve to smile more, which I know you will when you’re on the tour. In fact, I bet you’ll smile so much you’ll even get Sage to join in.” He lowers his hand, tracing his fingers down my chin, to my neck, and the collar of my shirt. Goose bumps sprout across my skin, even though it’s a hundred degrees in here. “But I want to be there to see you smile. I want to be the one smiling with you.”
“I’m not quite sure what you’re saying.” Or maybe I do, and I just don’t want to get my hopes up.
“Me neither.” He sighs, frustrated. “I just wish I could experience all of it with you.”
A glimmer of hope shines inside me. “Then experience it with me.”
“But how am I supposed to do that with all the stuff going on?” Sadness consumes his face. “And what about Sadie? How can I just bail on her?”
“You wouldn’t be just bailing. You’ve helped a lot. And you can still help.” I step toward him until the tips of our shoes brush. “You want to know how you do it? You just do it—you just go. You say to hell with the faulty roof, flip it the bird, and live your goddamn life.”
“I wish it were that simple,” he says quietly. “But no one would ever let me just take off. And what if the Soulless Mileas chase me down? What if I put everyone in danger?”
“Those are all possibilities, but so is the police finding the people who are doing this to you. They could find Sadie. This could all be over soon. You never know. That’s the thing, Ayden, you never know about anything. Just like you never know if you’ll ever have a chance to do something like this tour again. It might be a once in a lifetime opportunity. And if you want to go, then we’ll find a way. Don’t let anyone take away your life from you.” I hold my breath, waiting for him to agree that he’ll do it. Go with me on this crazy three-month journey lying ahead of me.
He doesn’t flat out say it, but he does faintly smile and the tension in his body unwinds.
“We’ll talk to our parents and figure something out if you decide you want to do this,” I say, trying not to get too hopeful. Not until he says it aloud. “But right now, there’s something way more important we need to do.”
His forehead furrows as he stares at me. “And what’s that?”
A wicked grin rises on my face as I haul him toward the door. “We need to go jump in the ball pit. Like, right now.”
He laughs as I drag him out of the bathroom and through the restaurant. I don’t slow down as we race for the ball bit. I just hold on until the edge and then jump.
WE LAND IN THE BALL pit, holding hands, and sink into a sea of plastic balls. When our feet hit the floor, Lyric laughs and pushes up to the top, like she’s swimming in water.
“I always loved playing in these when I was a kid,” she says as she twirls around in a circle, creating a funnel.
“I’ve never actually been in one,” I admit as I pick up a ball and chuck into the air like a baseball.
“Well, now you can’t say that anymore.” She moves over by me. “Tell me one of your secret wishes.”
I cock a brow at her. “One of my secret wishes?”
She nods, her green eyes sparkling. “I used to play this game with my dad when I was a kid. He would tell me his secret wish, then I’d tell him mine.” She grins deviously. “He once told me that he secretly wished he could be a superhero for a day and wear a cape. I think he just said that, though, because he was trying to keep his wish PG.”
I snort a laugh. “Why would I tell you my secret wish when you just outed your dad’s?”
“Because you love me.” Her bottom lip juts out and she bats her eyelashes at me as she clasps her hands in front of her. “Pretty please, Shy Boy.”
I shake my head, but she’s too damn adorable, and I can’t help but smile. “You know that I know you do that on purpose, right?”
“Do what?” she asks innocently.
I touch the finger to her bottom lip. “Pout to get your way.”
“Then why do you give me my way still?”
“Because I love giving you your way,” I admit with a shrug. “I guess that’s my secret wish. That I could always give you your way all the time. That I could give you what I know you want.”
“You mean with the tour?” She catches my hidden meaning.
I nod. “I’m going to try to go for you, but I can’t promise anything.”
“Don’t try for me.” She loops her arms around me, angles her head back, and looks up at me. “Try for yourself.”
Her long, blonde hair veils down her back, her green eyes glisten in the light, and her chest is pressed against mine. She looks so fucking beautiful right now, I could write a song about it.
Eyes so green
That carry love for me.
How is that even possible?
How can something so beautiful
Be in love with some like me?
And her lips, so perfect
I can’t taste enough of them.
And when she touches me,
It’s too fucking complicated to breathe.
“I’ll try for both of us,” I tell her. “Just as long as you do something for me.”
“And what’s that?”
“Kiss me—”
She crashes her lips to mine before I can even
get the words out. Our tongues tangle as we sink into the pit. My hand skates down her side to her thigh and I lift her leg up and hitch it over my hip. She moans against my mouth as she grinds against me. I knot my fingers through her hair, feeling so comfortable being with her it’s mind blowing. Just like the other night when she put her hands on me. It was the first time I ever allowed someone to touch me like that, and it was terrifying and incredible at the same time.
“Mom, Lyric and Ayden are making out in the ball pit!” Fiona announces as she steps up to the edge of the pit and points at us.
I softly toss a plastic ball at her, and she laughs, skittering out of the way.
“One day, when you’re making out with your boyfriend,” I tell her, “I’m going to get you back for that.”
Fiona sticks out her tongue then skips off toward the game machines.
I spot Ethan and Mr. Scott heading our way. I don’t think they’re coming to yell at us for making out, but I’m not about to keep kissing Lyric when her dad could see us.
I sigh. “I guess that puts an end to our ball pit fun.”
“You know they know we kiss, right?” Her brows arch. “In fact, I’m pretty sure they think we’re having sex already, since my mom found that safe sex pamphlet in my nightstand drawer.”
My lips part in shock. “She—You didn’t—You told her we weren’t having sex, didn’t you?”
“I told her we weren’t yet,” she says. “But I’ve always been pretty close with my family, and I felt like I needed to tell her,” she shrugs, “That we’re getting really close to that point. At least I think we are.”
I cast an unnerved glance at her dad as he busts up laughing at something Ethan says. “Does your dad know too?”
“My mom and dad tell each other everything, so maybe.” She tosses a ball aside then lines her chest with mine. “Would you relax? They know we’re in love, and that we aren’t just two teenagers getting their freak on.”
“You told them we’re in love?” I whisper, a mixture of fear and nerves.