He glanced down at his hand over mine, seeming surprised that it was still there, but he didn’t pull away. “You mean the proposal?”
“Hey, how did you know about that?” I playfully swatted his arm with my free hand, then blinked when I saw three of my hands.
“I helped him pick the ring out.” He grazed his fingers across the back of my hand, eliciting a shiver from me.
His lips quirked, like he was totally enjoying my reaction, yet I couldn’t figure out why. I mean, I knew Sage was a flirt, but he never flirted with me. Not ever.
“Really? So, you got to see it? The ring, I mean?” I asked, and he nodded. “Is it pretty?”
He chuckled. “I don’t know. I guess. Jewelry isn’t really my thing.”
When I purposely eyed the piercings in his brows, he gave me a look.
“These are different.” He fiddled with one of the barbells in his brows then flicked his tongue ring against his teeth. “These aren’t pretty, little diamonds.”
“Ha! So you do think diamonds are pretty!” I pointed a finger at him accusingly.
He leaned in and assessed my face closely. “Wait? Are you drunk?”
I held my finger and thumb an inch apart. “Maybe just a little.”
He looked down at his hand over mine. “Well, that explains a lot.” He sighed heavily then stood up. “How about we go get you some water?”
I bobbed my head up and down, and then he pulled me to my feet. I stumbled to the side, tripping over my feet like a klutz.
“Easy,” he said as he caught me in his arms.
My eyes instantly zeroed in on the glint of metal as he slipped his tongue out to wet his lips. A shiver coiled through my body, something I’d never felt before. There was a lot of confusion, a layer of haziness, and a ton of lust. I wanted to do something. I just couldn’t figure out what that something was. I met his gaze and then … well, I freaked out, like I always do, and shut down.
Sage waves his hand in front of my face. “Earth to Sadie. Are you still in there, or did I lose ya?”
I blink back to reality. “Sorry, I was just trying to remember what I said the other night. I was a little out of it.” I nervously fidget with the hem of my shirt. “So, if I said or did anything weird, I’m really sorry.”
He searches my eyes. “You don’t remember any of it?”
“A little bit, but not much.” I wipe my sweaty palms on the side of my skirt as he continues to intently study me, looking for God knows what.
Finally, he clears his throat. “So, how’d court go? I’m guessing not that great.”
My brows furrow at the abrupt subject change. “Why would you think that?”
“Because I doubt something like that could go great and …” He hesitates. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but you look like you just ran a marathon and it damn near killed you.”
I glance at the window of a nearby store and cringe at my reflection. My long, brown hair is disheveled, my flushed skin is damp with sweat, and mascara is smeared beneath my eyes.
“I did run a couple of miles,” I admit, looking back at him.
His gaze drops to my high heels then slowly drags up my body. “How the hell did you run that far in those crazy-ass shoes? They look like they’re at least a foot high.”
“They’re only four inches,” I stupidly point out. “And I didn’t really notice. I just got out of court and … I don’t know, just felt like I needed to run.” I’m such a liar, but I’m not about to tell him about how I was running away from a dead girl. “Until I could think about something else besides my dad.”
“And did it help you forget?” He cocks his head to the side. “Well, I’m not sure if forget is the right word.”
Forget? Forget about the dead girl and her warning? Man, how I wish it were that easy.
“I think forget works. And honestly, I’d love to forget, even if it was for just a few hours.” I ravel a strand of my hair around my finger. “That probably sounds crazy, doesn’t it?”
“Nah. I do that with the drums sometimes. When I’m having a shitty day, I’ll play until I get blisters. It helps me clear my mind, and I stop thinking so much about whatever the fuck is bothering me. Plus, I love playing, so it’s a win-win.”
“I’m jealous. I wish I had something like that I loved to do.”
“You don’t love running?”
“Not really. In fact, I kind of hate it. I usually take a drive to clear my head, but it’s just something I do to get quiet time. And it’s not very fun.”
A contemplative look crosses his face. “You know, you could always try something other than driving or running. Something that you love and can have fun with.”
“I know, but I don’t even know where to start.” The truth makes me depressed. I missed out on doing so much stuff while I was trapped in that house. Now that I’m out, I should be making up for it, doing crazy, wild, fun stuff. However, fear has held me back, like the chains that once held me to the wall. “I’m not really that fun of a person.” I shrug, feeling silly. “I think you already know that about me, though.”
“You can be fun, Sadie, when you’re relaxed.”
“You mean, like the other night? Because I don’t want to have to get wasted to be a fun person.”
“I’m not just talking about the other night. You’re fun to be around. You’re just quiet and shy, but that doesn’t make you boring. In fact, I think it kind of makes you interesting and mysterious.” He rubs his jawline thoughtfully. “However, if you’re feeling brave, I have an idea for something you could do.” He hitches his thumb over his shoulder, pointing at his car parked in the lot just across the street. “I’m heading to this place right now to do something that you could end up falling in love with.” The corner of his lips pull into a sexy half-smile. “Or, you could end up hating it. But you’ll never know until you try it, right?”
Hold on. Back the hell up. Is he asking me to hang out with him? We’ve never done that, except during crazy-drunk-girl night, and I can’t remember enough to know how the night went. Hell, I barely started being able to talk to him without stuttering.
“Wait, you want me to come with you somewhere?” I gape at him. “Just you and me, and no one else?”
He smashes his lips together, battling back his amusement. “Well, I was hoping for a bit more enthusiasm about it, but yeah, that’s what I’m getting at.”
The idea of going out with Sage, making small talk with him, freaks me out. Yet, I do like the idea of trying something new. My therapist always encourages me to try new things when I feel comfortable enough. I feel mildly comfortable right now, and spending some time with Sage seems … mildly doable, I guess.
If you can sit in front of your father and testify against him, then you should be able to handle this.
“What kind of a place?” I ask.
He wavers. “It might make the whole experience more exciting if I don’t tell you. Plus, I don’t want you to psych yourself out.” When I hesitate, he adds, “I promise you can trust me, Sadie.”
“I know I can.” Ayden would’ve never introduced me to him if he wasn’t trustworthy.
“So, you’ll go, then?” He sighs when I remain hesitant. “Okay, what if I also promise that we won’t be completely alone. There won’t be too many people around. Just enough that we won’t be, like, alone, alone. Well, except for the car ride there.” He winks. “I promise to be on my best behavior.”
A trace of a smile touches my lips. His answers settle my doubts more than he probably
knows. I find myself wanting to go with him, wanting to take a break from this mentally draining day. And hey, maybe I’ll be able to discover a hidden passion.
“Do you really think this is a good idea?” The dead girl abruptly materializes behind Sage, shaking her head at me. “Is that what you think you deserve, Sadie? To go out with him and have fun while forgetting about me?”
My mood plummets. I want to tell her yes. That I deserve to live the second chance I’ve been given. But her second chance was stolen away, and I think I might have helped steal it.
Sage slants to the side and unknowingly blocks the dead girl from my view. “I’m sorry if I’m being pushy. You don’t have to go with me if you don’t want to. I just thought I’d asked because you look like you need to have some fun today.”
The dead girl’s words echo in my head: Is that what you think you deserve, Sadie? To go out with him and have fun?
Disappointment sinks into my skin. “I’m sorry. I don’t think I can go.”
Sage frowns in his own disappointment. “Are you sure? Because, I swear it’s going to be a lot of fun.”
God, I want to so, so badly. But the dead girl appears again, reminding me of what I did, reminding me why I can’t have what I want.
“I-I’m sorry,” I sputter, then turn around and run.
Run away like I always do.
I don’t want to be like this anymore.
Chapter 4
Sadie
The most depressing song is playing from the stereo, putting a damper on what should be a good, huge step forward day.
Today is moving day. I’ll officially be living on my own for the first time since I escaped from my father and the cult. Okay, technically, I won’t be living alone all the time. I’m sharing a condo with Ayden and Lyric. However, since their band has become extremely popular, they’ll be on the road, touring more than they’ll be here.
I don’t mind too much, though. I like that I’ll be trying to take care of myself. At nineteen years old, I should already, yet I am terrified I won’t be able to handle being alone so much.