“It’s a short drive, Reags. I’ve got you. Seth’s going to make sure we get there safe. Just let me hold you.”
“I’m so sorry,” she cries.
“Stop.” My voice is strong and commanding. “You have nothing to be sorry for. This is just something that happens. One of those things. You’re strong and healthy and so are our boys. We’re going to make it through this.”
“They warned me,” she counters. “They said I might never have babies. I should have been more careful. I did this to them, to us.”
“I said stop.” My voice booms through the truck and she stiffens in my arms. Her cries growing louder.
I feel a strong hand on my shoulder. I glance over to see Seth with his eyes on the road,
but his grip is firm. He must feel me watching him. “She’s scared,” he says, his voice quiet. “Take a breath, brother.”
Fuck! He’s right. I know he is. I’m scared too. I’m scared of losing all three of them. I can’t lose them. They are my life. My heart. My soul.
“I’m sorry.” I hold her closer and bury my face in her hair. “I didn’t mean to yell and to scare you. I’m scared too, but none of this is your fault. Do you hear me? This is not your fault. Nothing you did made this happen.” She doesn’t reply, and I feel like a dick for yelling at her. I need to get my shit in check. She’s going to need me. The babies need me, and I know I need to be strong for all three of them. I breathe her in, holding her close, and pray like I’ve never prayed before that my family will be okay.
“We’re here.” Seth pulls up outside the emergency room entrance. “You go on in. I’ll park the truck and be right behind you.” I manage to open the door, and climb out with her in my arms, although I feel as if they could give out at any minute. My legs that are shaking from fear, carry her into the emergency room.
“Sir, can we help you?” a woman in scrubs asks.
“My wife.” I look down at Reagan, who’s holding onto me as if her life depends on it. I can feel my wet shirt sticking to my skin from her tears. I swallow hard. “My wife, she’s pregnant.” I take a deep breath. “She’s bleeding.” I force the words that taste like sandpaper past my lips as I lose control of my emotions. A lone tear then slides down my cheek.
Chapter 19
Reagan
* * *
I hear Ty talking to the nurse, or maybe it’s the doctor. I don’t know. I don’t lift my head from his shoulder. I feel safe in his arms. Safe like nothing can touch me or our babies while he’s holding us. It’s a feeling that is false because I know what I felt, what I saw that my trip to the bathroom confirmed. I’m bleeding. Our babies could be in danger and I don’t want to face it. I want to wake up at home in our bed, and for all of this to have been a really bad dream. A nightmare.
“Reags, baby, I’m going to put you in the wheelchair so they can take you up to the maternity ward,” Ty explains.
I hold on tighter. I’m not ready for him to let me go. I don’t want to face this. I want it to be over. Please God, don’t take our babies. “No.” My reply is weak at best.
“I’ll carry her.” I hear him tell them. They argue that it’s against protocol. “I give zero fucks about your protocol. My wife is scared to death. We both are. She wants me to carry her so that’s what’s going to happen. Tell me where I’m going.” He leaves no room for negotiation.
“Follow me.” The female voice is resigned.
“I’ve got you, Reagan. All three of you. Everything is going to be fine,” he whispers, just for me. I tune everything out but the way being in his arms makes me feel. I don’t know how long it takes us, but we finally make it to my room. I know that because he tells me in my ear. He sits on the bed, me still in his arms. “Baby, I need to put you on the bed. We need to get you changed so they can take a look. They need to check on you and the babies.”
I still don’t move.
“Reagan.” His voice cracks. “Please, baby. They need to check on the three of you. They can’t help you unless we help them. Fight for me, Reags. Fight through the heartache, push past it to fight for all of us.” He pauses, letting his words take root. “We need you, Reagan. I’m right here. I won’t leave you, but you have to let me put you down.”
I’m being selfish, and the pain in his voice is what has me lifting my head and facing him. His blue eyes are dark, swimming with fear and pain, but there’s something else too. Determination. I know that if he had the power to do so, he would end this, take it all off me and put it onto him. He’s holding me, begging me to fight for our family, and that’s all I want to do. I’ve had my time to wallow in the fear. Now it’s time to do whatever it takes to keep these boys safe until it’s time to bring them into the world.
“I’m sorry,” I say, cupping his cheek.
One tear, then another slides down his face. “Don’t be sorry,” he says, his voice gravelly. “I’m scared too, Reags. I wish I could fix this, but I can’t.”
“I know you do.” He stands and sets me on the edge of the bed.
“We need to get you changed.” I nod, lifting my arms over my head, allowing him to pull my shirt off. He reaches behind me and unclasps my bra, setting in on the bed with my shirt. Hospital gown in hand, he holds it open for me to slide my arms in. He reaches behind me to tie it at the neck. “Lie back. I’ll pull your pants off.”
“Wait.” I place my hand over his. “I-I don’t know if you want to see… that.” I motion toward my abdomen.
“I’ve seen all of you,” he reminds me.
“But… I’m bleeding.”
He nods as understanding takes route. “Okay. Lie back. We’ll let the nurses help you with that.”
“Thank you.” I’m not embarrassed, but I want to protect him from it all. Shelter him from the horror I found just from bending over. Reaching over my head, he hits the Call button for the nurse.
“Hello, Mrs. Justice, I’m Corina. I’ll be your nurse today. Can you tell me what’s been going on?”
With Tyler’s hand gripping mine like a vise, I tell her—sounding so much calmer than I feel—about how I bent over and felt a small rush of something between my legs. “I thought I had an accident. With these two”—I rub my belly affectionately—“sitting on my bladder, I assumed it was bound to happen. I’ve read about it.” She gives me a kind smile and I continue to tell her about how I went to the restroom to decipher the damage and what I expected to be a bladder accident turned into blood. Not a lot, but enough, and bright enough red to scare the hell out of me.
“All right, let’s get you changed out of these, and Dr. Hatfield will be in to take a look.” I nod and lift my hips, letting her help me remove my pants. “Panties too,” she advises. I nod, and with Tyler’s help, with his eyes locked on mine, we finish discarding my clothing.
The next few minutes are a blur. The nurse places pads underneath me, and places an IV in my arm, hooking me up to fluids.
“What is that for?” Tyler asks.
“Just to keep her hydrated,” Corina replies as if it’s no big deal. It might not be, but to us, everything is a big deal.
“Reagan, Tyler,” Dr. Hatfield says, entering the room. She takes a seat at the foot of the bed. “So, I’ve read what happened in your chart. Yesterday your condition was getting better, but we’re going to take a look and see if anything has changed. The bleeding is a common result of the condition, one you’ve been lucky not to experience up to this point. Are you having any pain or cramping? Any new symptoms I should know about?”
“No. Nothing. Just the… spotting.”
“Okay, let’s have a look.” She pulls over the ultrasound machine and takes her time pressing and taking a look. “I’m trying to avoid a vaginal ultrasound if at all possible. Have you been having intercourse?” she asks.
“No,” Ty and I answer together.
She nods and goes back to what she’s doing. “We’re still at 40 percent. I want to keep you at least overnight. You are to remain in bed. You can get up to use the restroom, but it’s right back to bed. I’ll send Corina in to show you how to take the IV with you.” She removes her gloves, and wipes the gel from my belly. “I know you’re scared but we’ll be keeping a close eye on all three of you. The babies’ heartbeats are strong, and the spotting is mild compared to some cases. In the meantime, bedrest. Lots of it.” Her smile is warm as she leaves the room.
“Once we spring you out of here, you’re going to have to stop working. Rest. On the couch, in the recliner, in the bed, I don’t care, but rest for you and these two little ones,” Tyler says. His blue eyes are holding my stare, daring me to argue with him.
“I agree.”
“Baby, you— Wait. What?” he asks, making me laugh.
“I’m not
going to fight you on this, Ty. Yes, I know I’m strong-willed, and I’m as independent as they come, but these two need me to not be that person right now. Well, in a sense. I admit it won’t be easy, but it’s what’s best for them.”
His hand cradles my belly affectionally, just under the fetal heartbeat monitors that are wrapped around me. “It will be hard, but you have me. Depend on me. Let me take on whatever it is that you need done, whatever it is that you need. I can’t help you and I hate that.”
“You love us, Tyler. Fiercely. That’s all we could ask for.”
“We’re going to be okay. We’re going to get through this.”
“Of course we are,” I say, with more conviction than I feel. “We’re fighters, all four of us.”
Corina comes in and explains how to roll the IV pole to the restroom, and to call for help if I need assistance. Tyler assures her that he’ll be here. She reminds us to call regardless and for any reason, and where the call button is. Once she’s gone, I slide over in my bed and pat the spot next to me.
“You need your rest.”
“I know, and I do that better when I’m in your arms. Please?”
His eyes soften and he kicks off his work boots and climbs in bed beside me just as there’s a knock at the door. “You’re going to get us kicked out of here.” He laughs as he yells for whoever it is to come in, and I settle my head against his chest.
“Hey,” Seth says, his tone unsure. “How are you?”
“I’m okay. They’re keeping me for at least a day to monitor the babies and the bleeding. I’m confined to this bed during that time.”
“And after,” Ty chimes in, making Seth laugh. “Thanks for today,” Ty says, his voice now serious.
“We’re family” is Seth’s reply. “Speaking of, your phone has been blowing up. I answered and told them what I know. I’m sure you’re about to be bombarded.” He hands Tyler his phone.
“Thanks, man. Now that she’s settled, I’ll return some calls.”
“I got you covered. I called your parents,” he tells Ty, “and Ridge took care of yours. I just sent them a message”—he holds up his phone—“telling them what you told me, and your room number.”