A few minutes before eleven, our crew steps in front of us. Reagan and Tyler give us both hugs. “Is there anything that we can do?” Reagan asks.
“No, but thank you,” Dawn says politely.
“Actually, there is,” I tell her. Dawn glances at me curiously. “There are about a month’s worth of casseroles and desserts, and I don’t even know what else back at the house. Can you maybe go and get it all set up for after?” I ask.
“Of course,” Reagan agrees.
“I’ll help,” Kendall says, stepping up and wrapping Dawn in a hug.
“We’re going to go find a seat,” Tyler says, gripping me on the shoulder and walking to the back of the room.
“I love you.” I hear Kendall whisper, and that’s all it takes for Dawn’s shoulders to shake and a sob filled with pain and sorrow to escape her lips.
I want to pull her from Kendall’s embrace and into mine, but I know I can’t do that. Kendall knew her parents, knows her sister. She’s closer to her in that aspect than any of us. When they finally pull apart, Dawn wipes her eyes and looks over at Ridge. “Thank you both for coming.”
He engulfs her in a hug. “We’re here for you.”
My brothers, maybe not by blood, but by choice, they’re rallying around my girl, and I have to swallow the lump in my throat. She’s hurting, but I know that we’re all going to be here to help her pick up the pieces. I meant it when I told her I will be here to catch her. This fall might not have been expected, but my arms are open and waiting all the same.
Seth and Kent step up as Kendall and Ridge walk away. I watch as they both hug her tightly and tell her they’re sorry for her loss, before turning to me.
“What do you need, Mark?” Seth asks.
“We’re good, man. Thanks for being here.”
“We’ve got you, brother,” Kent says.
I nod and they walk off to sit with the others.
“Honey, I’m so sorry.” I hear a familiar female voice.
Turning my attention from the guys, I see my parents standing in front of us. Mom has Dawn wrapped in her arms, and Dad has one hand on Dawn’s back and the other on Mom’s. My throat swells.
“Meghan sends her condolences,” Mom says when she finally steps back. “Paul’s out of town, and she has the twins. It was her or us, and we won,” Mom says with a soft chuckle.
“Thank you for being here,” Dawn replies.
“Of course,” Dad chimes in. “You’re family.”
He says it so simply, as if her being a permanent part of my life, of our lives is a forgone conclusion. I like it. I like it a lot. After we each hug my parents one more time, they take their seats.
“Dawn,” the funeral director greets us. “If you’ll take your seats, we’ll get started.”
“Thank you,” she tells him.
Taking her hand in mine, I lead us to the front row, where two open seats remain. We settle on the pew and I wrap my arm around her shoulders, holding her. The service is nice, not too long, not too short. Dawn declines getting up to speak. The pastor does a wonderful job. A few ladies from the church sing “Amazing Grace,” and even though I don’t look around the room for confirmation, I know there’s not a dry eye in the house.
After a small graveside service, we gather at her parents’ place. More people I’ve never met, and many Dawn has never met either, filter in and out throughout the afternoon. Kendall and Reagan keep things rolling in the kitchen, playing hostess. The guys help out where they can, and I even catch a glimpse of Kent with his sleeves rolled up doing dishes.
“Everyone’s gone,” Ridge says, closing the front door.
“Finally.” Dawn takes a seat on the couch. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, I’m grateful they were here, but I thought they would never leave. Present company excluded.” She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. When she opens them, she makes a point to look at each of us. “I can’t tell you what it means to me to have all of you here. To know that I have you in my corner,” she says, swallowing hard.
The women rally around her before I have a chance to. “You want to get some air?” Seth asks.
“Yeah,” I quickly agree. In a few long strides, I’m standing behind Dawn, where she sits on the couch. “We’re going out on the porch,” I tell her, massaging her shoulders gently.
“Okay.” She looks up at me upside down. Not able to resist, I lean over her and place a soft kiss to her lips. It’s not our normal, being overly affectionate in front of anyone really. However, these past few days have changed things. Not just between us, but it’s changed us. As for me, it’s a reminder that life is short and you never know how long you have on this earth. It’s a reminder to love those you love hard and never hold back.
“How’s she holding up?” Seth asks once we’re outside on the porch.
The cold air burns my lungs as I suck in a deep breath. “She’s doing okay.”
“How about you?” Ridge asks.
“I just wish I knew how to help her,” I confess. “And Destiny, what a clusterfuck. I know that’s messing with her as well. That she had her picked up and couldn’t be here today.”
“Who knows if she even would have shown up,” Kent comments.
“Doubtful,” I scoff. My anger toward Destiny and the hand she played in all of this is beyond measure. I understand she has an addiction, but she picked that shit up the first time. She was completely sober when she tried it the first time. She knew what she was doing then.
“Is she coming back with you?” Tyler asks.
My head snaps up to look at him. “What?” I ask, barely able to form the word.
He shrugs. “I just thought maybe she’d want to be here, in their house, to feel closer to them. Women do that shit, right?” he asks.
I never considered that she wouldn’t be coming back home with me. I mean, we’ve been packing up the house, donating clothes, so I just assumed. Fuck me. She has to come home. A loud crash from inside startles us, and we’re all rushing through the door to see what happened. The five of us stop in our tracks and take in the scene before us.
Dawn, Kendall, and Reagan are standing in the living room. Kendall and Reagan have sympathetic looks on their face as they watch Dawn. My eyes take her in as she lifts a vase of flowers from the funeral and tosses them into the fireplace. Glass shatters and the sound echoes throughout the room.
“Why!” Dawn screams through her tears. She reaches for another vase of flowers, and neither Kendall nor Reagan make a move to stop her. I step forward, but a strong hand on each of my shoulders stops me. “It’s not fair,” she sobs as she tosses another vase.
I watch as her knees buckle and she stumbles. Reagan and Kendall catch her. Nothing could keep me from her at this point. I shrug the guys from holding me back and rush to her. Kendall and Reagan give me a sad smile as I approach. “Dawn,” I whisper, my voice gruff.
Lifting her head, she looks at me. Her hazel eyes are filled with so much sorrow that I feel it deep in my gut. There are tear stains tracking down her face. I feel her sadness in my soul. I open my arms for her and she stumbles into my embrace. Her hands grip my shirt as sobs rack her body. When I lift her, the girls step back, allowing me to make my way to the couch. I sit down with her on my lap and hold her.
I kiss the top of her head. “I’ve got you, Pixie. I’m right here.” My eyes seek out our friends, our family, and I know the look I’m giving them is pleading. Help me help her. From the looks on their faces, they hear my silent plea. Kendall snuggles into Ridge, and Reagan does the same with Tyler. Seth and Kent bury their hands in their pockets, a look of worry mixed with sadness on their faces.
“We’re going to give you some time,” Kendall whispers, wiping under her eyes.
I nod and watch as they disappear into the kitchen. “I’m so sorry,” I say, burying my face in her hair. My whispered apology only seems to cause her to cry harder. I tighten my hold, hugging her close to my chest, not leaving an ounce of space betw
een us. I continue to hold her as if my life depends on it, and place soft kisses to her head. I whisper that I’m here and not going anywhere, telling her I’ve got her. Minutes, hours, hell, I’m not sure how much time passes but eventually, her sobs quiet to just sniffles.