Chapter Eleven
Dawn
“How is it possible that the twins are already a year old?” I ask Kendall. We’re in Tyler and Reagan’s kitchen helping her set up all the food for Ben and Beck’s first birthday party.
“Right? I swear the older I get, the faster time flies.”
“The last year has been a blur.”
Kendall stops what she’s doing and looks up at me. “I know it’s been a hard year for everyone. How are you holding up?”
I shrug. “Good days and bad days.”
“I’m here for you, you know that, right? I’ve been trying not to push you, but I’m here.”
I know that she is and I love her for it. “Thank you. I’ve been doing okay. It’s been several weeks since my last breakdown.” Not since New Year’s Eve. Each day is a struggle, but I’m pushing through. Taking each day as it comes.
“I’m so sorry. That took forever,” Reagan says, coming into the kitchen carrying three boxes.
“Let me help you.” I grab the two smaller ones from the top.
“Thanks. The bakery line was a mile long and then traffic is crazy with the snow.” She sets the large box down on the counter. “These are cupcakes for us and the kids. I thought that would be easier. Those—” She points to the two smaller boxes that I just took from her. “Those are for the boys to dive into,” she says, smiling wide. “I can’t believe my babies are turning one.” She wipes a tear from her eye.
“We were just talking about that,” I tell her.
“I don’t know if I’m emotional because they’re growing up so fast or because they’re both here alive and healthy,” she confesses.
“I’d say a little bit of both,” Kendall says. “Last year was a tough one, for all of us.”
“We never would have made it through it without all of you,” Reagan tells us.
“We’re family.” Kendall shrugs.
“And I feel the same way,” I confess. “I’m… alone now, but you all, your husbands, kids, and the guys, you all make me feel less alone.”
“That’s because you’re not alone,” Reagan says, like it’s the gospel. “We’re your family. It takes more than blood to form that bond. You’re in tight.” She crosses her fingers in a display of how tight we are.
“Who’s tight?” Kent asks, laughing.
“Do you ever think with the head on your shoulders?” Kendall teases.
“Umm… is this a trick question?” he asks.
“Hey, you need any help?” Mark appears beside me.
“No, I think we have it. I thought you were all helping Ridge and Tyler with the kids?”
“Knox is entertaining all three of them. We’re just kind of standing by and watching.”
“That kid.” Kent shakes his head. “He’s a character.”
“He’s just like his daddy,” Kendall says fondly.
“Nah, I can’t ever remember Ridge being that entertaining,” Kent jokes, causing us all to laugh.
“I think we’re good,” I tell Reagan as I place the stack of paper plates on the counter.
“Come and get it!” she calls out. Ridge shuffles in with Knox hanging off one leg, and with Everly on his hip. Tyler and Seth are right behind him, each carrying one of the twins. “Dive in,” she tells them.
Kendall makes a plate for Knox and Everly, and Reagan does the same for Beck and Ben. We set the kids up in their high chairs, well, everyone besides Knox who’s in a booster seat that usually ends up on the floor. He likes to sit in the “big boy” chair. The guys pile in and fill their plates before sitting at the table with the kids.
“Now, girl time.” Reagan grins. The three of us make our plates and settle in the living room.
“So, who’s having the next ankle-biter?” Kent asks.
The girls and I stop talking so that we can listen to their conversation. The kids are babbling to themselves. “I’m in,” Ridge says without an ounce of hesitation.
“Obviously, I have superior swimmers,” Tyler boasts.
“He’s got you there,” Seth chimes in.
“They’re ridiculous,” Kendall whisper laughs.
“Damn right.” This from Tyler.
“Meh, I could do better,” Kent quips.
“Dear Lord, let’s hope not. Twins are exhausting. I can’t imagine triplets,” Reagan says, and it’s as if you can hear the exhaustion in her voice, but that takes nothing from the smile on her face. She’s tired, but she wouldn’t change it for anything. Of that, I’m certain.
“Sounds like you’re up,” I tease Kendall.
She grins. “I don’t know if we’re ready just yet, but practicing….” Her voice trails off as a light blush coats her cheeks.
“What about you?” Reagan asks.
“Me?” I’m still learning to live with the fact that I have no family, none that I care to speak of anyway.
“Yes, you. You been practicing?” Kendall dishes it right back.
“Oh, we practice,” I confirm, and we all bust out in laughter.
“What did we miss?” Seth calls out.
“Oh, nothing,” I say through spurts of laughter.
“No wonder y’all didn’t answer the door,” Amelia says, entering the room. “What did I miss?”
“Oh, nothing. Just talking about practicing making babies.” Reagan tries to sound innocent but fails as laughter sputters in her chest.
“Is it in the water? You have any bottled? I do not need that in my life right now.” Amelia shudders.
“What?” Kendall asks. “You love kids.”
“Yeah, I do, and I want them… someday. I just need to find a man who wants to stick around long enough to not only make them but raise them.”
Something happened with the last guy she dated, but she’s been pretty tight-lipped about it. She’ll talk about it when she’s ready, and the three of us will be here when she is.
“Anyway, sorry I’m late. I was helping Mom clean out her closet and lost track of time.”
“You didn’t miss anything. Go grab a plate,” Reagan tells her.
Amelia stands and makes her rounds hugging all the kids and jabbing at the guys. She joins us a few minutes later with a plate of food. “Those cakes are too cute.”
“Thanks. They’re into construction. Ty’s influence.” Reagan laughs. “So I figured might as well indulge them.”
Each of the boys’ individual cakes are yellow with black stripes. The top says Caution: Beck is One and Caution: Ben is One. They are really cute, and I can’t wait to see them dive into them.
“Babe,” Tyler calls out. “Are we ready for cake?”
“He’s worse than the kids.” Reagan chuckles. “In a minute,” she calls back.
The four of us chat for a few more minutes while Amelia finishes her food. We make quick work of cleaning up the kitchen and setting the cupcakes with little individual containers of ice cream out on the counter. Reagan and I each hold one of the small cakes, and Kendall lights the candle.
“Here we come,” Amelia says loudly, and we all start to sing “Happy Birthday.”
The kids are clapping and smiling, and when Ben and Beck dive into their birthday cakes, it’s just as cute as I imagined it to be. They both have cake all over their face and hands. Ridge unwraps two cupcakes. One is placed in front of Knox on a plate, and the other on the high chair in front of Everly. All four kid
s are covered in cake and icing while the adults take pictures and watch with amusement.
It’s a great day with lots of memories created. Thoughts also plague my mind that my parents will never be able to witness this with my children. My chest tightens, but I don’t break down. I’m getting better at that—not breaking down at every thought or memory. I’m taking it one day at a time.
“Just think,” Tyler says with a laugh, “we get to do this again next weekend with the grandparents.”
Reagan smiles fondly at him, and then their twins. We started doing our own family thing once Knox was born and Ridge and Kendall got together. As our clan grows, so do our gatherings. I try not to think about what will happen if Mark and I ever split. How awkward it would be for us, and then there’s the fact that I’m the new girl. Mark and the guys, Reagan, and even Amelia and Kendall all have history. I’m Kendall’s friend, who they’ve only known for a couple of years. I’d be the odd man out. I’d lose the only family— I shake out of my thoughts. I’m not willing to go there today. I refuse to make this day about me.
“Let’s get these kiddos cleaned up and move on to presents.” Reagan laughs as Ben shoves more cake into his mouth. There are tears in her eyes, and as I survey the room, everyone is watching him and thinking the same thing. There was a time we weren’t sure we would ever get the chance to see him celebrate this day. The fact that he’s here and healthy, it’s a blessing.
We gather in the living room. Ridge and Kendall take the loveseat, with Everly cuddled between them. Knox, already a ladies’ man, is on Amelia’s lap talking her head off and lapping up all her attention. Tyler and Reagan are on the floor with Beck and Ben, their gifts piled between them. Seth, Kent, and Mark are on the couch, which leaves me. I’m getting ready to settle on the floor next to Mark, but he pulls me into his lap.
“This is where you belong,” he whispers in my ear.
“D, you can sit here,” Seth says, patting his lap. I look over at him and he’s wearing a shit-eating grin.
“Fuck off,” Mark mumbles.
“Marcus.” Kent places his hand to his chest as if Mark has just offended him. “There are children present.”