A few minutes later, Finley is set with a cup of juice and her crayons on the living room coffee table, and my fiancé is back and we’re in full-wedding-planning mode.
“I love that it’s Finny’s birthday that week, as well as our wedding. We get to celebrate all month.”
“All month, huh?”
“Yeah, I mean, we’re getting married on Friday and her birthday is the following Friday. I say that counts for a month of celebration.”
“What am I going to do with you?” I ask, laughing.
“Love me.”
“Done.”
“Thank you, Mara. I’ll never be able to give you a gift like you’ve given me with Finley.”
“Your love is all we need.”
He grins. “Look at us, all sappy and domesticated.”
I just shake my head and go back to work. There is one thing for certain, there will never be a dull moment in our household. I smile at that. Even though there is sadness and pain looming in our future, I’m excited about what’s left to come. We’ll carry the loss of Amelia with us daily, but I know we have to keep moving on, that’s what she wants, and that’s how life happens. If you don’t move with it, you’ll be left in the dust. The memories of those you love will always linger in your heart and in your mind.
Chapter Twenty-One
Seth 21
* * *
I’ve become a master at hiding my worry. I mask it with smiles and laughter when inside I’m a tornado of worry and sadness. Today is one of those days that even though I try, the mask I try to slip firmly in place just isn’t sitting where it’s supposed to.
“Hey.” Mara places her hand on my bouncing knee.
We’re sitting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office. They called Amelia back a few minutes ago, and since our relationship is not… intimate, except for that one drunken night, I opted to stay out here until the doctor finishes her exam. Then, she’ll call me back for questions if I have any, and then the ultrasound. No matter how many times I’ve sat in this waiting room, my nerves are still shot. I still worry that there might be something wrong with the baby, that the cancer that’s eating at one of my oldest friends is somehow going to affect our unborn child. The doctors have assured me that although not impossible, it’s highly unlikely. That admission does nothing to calm my nerves or the constant worry over my child. Over my friend.
“Mr. Jennings,” the nurse calls. I stand, bringing Mara with me. Usually she goes back with Amelia, but for some reason, today she stayed with me. Maybe I’m not as good at hiding my worry as I thought I was. With her having cancer, they want to keep a close eye on the baby, so she comes twice a week instead of once a month like other women at the same stage of pregnancy.
“Hi,” I say as soon as we step into Amelia’s small exam room. She’s sitting up on the table, fully dressed. I take in the dark circles under her eyes, and I know despite what the doctors tell her, she’s not gaining weight as she should be.
“Come on in, guys. Dr. Hatfield will be right back.” As soon as she says it, the door pushes open and in walks Dr. Hatfield.
“Seth, Mara, how are you?” she greets us. We exchange pleasantries and wait. “Well, let’s get to it, shall we? Amelia is doing well. The baby is measuring correctly. You only gained a pound, but that’s progress from the loss that we’ve seen.” She looks up from her computer to face Amelia. “However, as the pregnancy progresses, it may be that we have to admit her to ensure that both she and the baby are getting the nutrients that they both need.”
“What should we watch for?” Mara asks.
“Extreme fatigue. If she has any cramping or Braxton Hicks.” She rattles off a list of other signs we should watch for. “This isn’t meant to scare you, but I want the three of you to be prepared for what could be right around the corner.”
“Is it safe for them to travel?”
“Yes, take breaks so she can stretch her legs, just eat small meals multiple times per day, and stay hydrated. She’s taking her prenatal vitamins, and I know they make her nauseous, but as long as they are staying down, they are vital for the baby. I’ve already explained this to Amelia.”
“Thank you,” I say, not really knowing what else to say to all of that. My worry is ramped up by one thousand.
“You’re welcome. Now onto the fun stuff. Are you ready to see your baby?”
“Yes,” Amelia and I say at the same time.
“Follow me.”
I help Amelia off the exam table and we follow Dr. Hatfield down the hall and into another exam room. It’s dark, and the tech is there waiting for us. “All right, let’s take a look. Amelia, if you’ll have a seat on the table and lie back, we’ll get started.”
I hold my breath as I wait for the tech to get everything set up, and then she presses the wand to Amelia’s growing belly. She moves it around the gel she placed on her abdomen and clicks on her screen. “I’m just taking measurements for the doctor,” she says, explaining why she’s being so quiet. “All right, so are we wanting to know the gender? Or are we sealing it for a gender reveal party?” she asks.
Amelia looks at me and then to Mara with tears in her eyes. “I-I don’t know how much time I’ll have after, so I’d like to know now. Seth?”
I can’t speak, so I nod my approval. Mara, who is holding Amelia’s hand, reaches the other out for me, and just like that, the three of us are linked together, more than just by our hands, but by the bond of friendship, and the life of the baby on the screen.
“Okay, well, this right here—” The tech points to the screen. “—this is your son. Congratulations, it’s a boy.”
A boy.
I’m going to have a son and a daughter.
“Seth?” Mara squeezes my hand and I give her my attention. “Congratulations, Daddy.” She smiles despite the tears that coat her cheeks. I nod.
“A little boy,” Amelia says wistfully, her eyes glued to the monitor. She then turns to me and smiles. “Thank you, Seth. I know we didn’t plan this and it’s unconventional, and it puts pressure on the two of you and your relationship, but this little miracle…” She chokes on her words. “This little miracle,” she tries again, “he’s the best thing I’ve ever done. He will always be my greatest accomplishment in life.”
Mara leans down and offers her a hug, then steps back, allowing me to do the same. “He’ll never go a day without knowing how much you love him. I promise you that.”
The tech clears her throat, and I step back. “Here are some pictures. I printed a lot so that each of you could have a set.” I love that they know our situation and don’t offer any judgment. Not that we’ve done anything wrong. We were all handed this scrambled hand in life that we’re just trying to make sense of.
“Thank you so much.” Amelia sits up once the gel is wiped off her growing belly and slides the pictures in her purse.
As a trio, we exit the room, make Amelia’s follow-up appointment and ensure it works with all our schedules, and exit the building. The warm May sun beats down on us, and I smile. It’s the little things like sunshine that I have to remember to stop and enjoy. With so much bad, sometimes the good can be overshadowed.
“How about lunch?” Mara asks.
“Yes. Then I was thinking maybe we could go shopping, I want to buy a few things for him.” Affectionately, Amelia rubs her belly where our son is growing. “A little boy,” she squeals, and it’s been a long damn time since I’ve seen a smile that big light up her face.
“You ladies have fun. I need to get back to the job site.” I pull Mara into a kiss. “I’ll see you at home.” Pulling away, I hug Amelia and then bend down to talk to my son. “Take care of your mommy,” I whisper. With that, I give my fiancée one more quick kiss and I rush off to my truck.
Pulling into the job site, I grab the blue box of cigars off the seat. I couldn’t resist when I drove past the local party supply store. I stopped on a whim and they had these. I had to buy them. They’re not really cigars
—they’re blue bubble gum—but they get the point across all the same. I’m having a little boy.
“Well?” Tyler asks as I walk into the house we’re in the middle of remodeling.
“Care for a cigar?” I ask in my most pretentious voice.
“No shit?” he asks. “Congrats, man.”
“A boy!” Mark cheers, which is followed by words of congratulations from Ridge and Kent.
“Finley gets a little brother,” I tell them.
“How is Amelia?” Ridge asks.