I think he’s tired of fooling with me because he turns. I waste no time taking my shirt off and washing everywhere Hernandez touched. I scrub hard, leaving the skin almost raw and red. You can’t tell I’ve been violated, but that’s exactly, what it feels like.
“Tess, sweetheart, you’re clean, come out of there, baby.”
The softness in his voice gets through the haze I’m in. I didn’t even realize I was crying until that moment. Max has the blanket he gave me earlier in his hands. He must have gone back and got it while I was washing. He wraps me up in it, and then picks me up in his arms and leads me back to our camp. I don’t protest; I don’t even think to protest. I’m pretty sure I’m in shock, and despite my confusion, I know one thing. I feel safe in Max’s arms, and right now I need to feel safe.
“Rest. I’ve got you.”
I’m crying harder, and as
he settles us down on the ground, I curl back into him and burrow my head tight against his chest. I’m crying too hard to respond. Slowly I calm and concentrate on the way Max is combing my hair and the rhythm of his breathing.
“I’m sorry, Max.”
“It’s okay, Kitten. You were only telling the truth. Your world and mine don’t mix. We both forgot that for a little while. It’s good we were reminded now, instead of later.”
“Max…”
“Go to sleep. We’ll travel when you wake, and by nightfall you’ll be in your own bed, and this will have just been a bad memory,” he says interrupting me.
“That’s not what I want,” I tell him and as confused as I am, I know that I don’t want to end things with Max like this. I’m not sure how it’s supposed to end, but not like this.
“Me either, but it’s how it has to be. Surely today showed you that if nothing else,” he replies and his voice sounds so monotone and final. We’ve gone too far, and there’s no going back. I have to acknowledge that. Max is right too, maybe our worlds don’t mix. My fantasies about Max Kincaid were just that…fantasies.
“I wish things were different. I’ll miss you so much. Goodnight, Max.”
He doesn’t say it back, and even that hurts. Just as I’m about to fall asleep with the beat of Max’s heart drumming beneath my ear, I hear him. It’s light, and I fight through my tiredness, to grasp the words.
“I’ll miss you too, Kitten, I’ll miss you too.” And it’s in those words I hear the sadness inside of him and part of me wishes I hadn’t. I hurt Max. I hurt him, and I don’t know how to fix it or even if I should. With each beat of his heart, my time is running out. What do I do? What on Earth do I do about Max Kincaid?
I didn’t mean to fall asleep. Both of us sleeping is too damn dangerous out in the open like this. If the animals don’t attack us, there are plenty of people out there looking to do it. The combination of all the walking, the mess that has been the last few days and the sadness of admitting I need to send Tess home, all combined to wear me out.
When I wake, Tess is still out to the world. She’s lying curled into me. Her face is buried in my neck and her arm is hooked around me. She fits me perfectly, everything about her feels right. Except that, I can’t keep her.
Tess is something that I never saw coming. I’ve lived an okay life. I was pretty satisfied. I had my shop, some good friends, cold beers, and what I thought were good times. I never had to work too hard to have a warm place to stick my cock, and that’s all I ever wanted. I didn’t do relationships and had no use for them. When I made the decision to end the life of the man that robbed me of my child, I had no idea what might be waiting for me.
I’m not sure you can prepare for someone like Tess. Had I known she was my future, I would have chosen differently. I would have still ended that sorry son of a bitch, but I would have played it smarter, I would have called in markers and done it safer.
My finger traces the delicate curve of her neck and shoulder. She’s so small and beautiful. I want more time with her. I want…
“Max?” she whispers sleepily. My dick has yet to be soft around Tess. I have three stages around her, hard, harder, and fuck if I don’t get relief I’m going to die. That stage is what I imagine overdosing on Viagra would be like. Four-hour erection? Tess has no problem inspiring them from me. With just her whispering my name I move into stage two, and I’m knocking on the door of stage three. I want to groan out loud, from the torture.
“If things were different, I’d put my mark on you,” I tell her before I can stop myself.
“Your mark?” she asks hugging me tighter, and I’m in no hurry to move from here. This feels a lot better than her fear of me yesterday.
“A tattoo. I’d want you to wear me on your body,” I tell her, kissing her just above her ear.
“Do a lot of women wear your mark?”
“I own a tattoo shop, Kitten.”
“Oh…right,” she whispers, and her voice is a strange mixture. I’m not good at deciphering women, I’ve never needed to be, but I think I hear the disappointment in hers. I smile.
“Not one woman has my name on her though, and that’s what I want on you, Kitten. My name, marking your skin. My name a part of you, so that any son of a bitch who comes near you, knows you’re mine, you’ll always be mine.”
She grows still, and I figure I’ve gone too far. Then her soft voice surprises me, “Would you wear me? I mean my name?”
I don’t even have to think about it. “Absolutely, Kitten. Absolutely.”
“We could still do it,” she whispers, and the temptation is so strong. I beat it down.
“We need to get going. It’s dangerous to stay in one place for too long,” I tell her helping her to slide off of me. I can’t allow myself to live in the dream world that tries to weave around me. I have a road already laid out ahead of me, and there’s nothing I can do to change it. I need to keep reminding us both of that.
“Where are we headed?” she asks sometime later. We’re walking towards Holy Hills, it’s an area near Ormond, and it’s also where the Vipers have their compound. I don’t know exactly, what I’m going to do, but I know Marcum will have my back and I’m going to need his help to survive. I look over at Tessa. I still want to survive, I’m trying to let go of the dream she promises, but I can’t, not yet, not entirely. Somewhere deep down inside, there’s a little spark of hope that burns from just being around Tess.
“I’m going to call in some markers to make sure we get you returned home safely.”
“You don’t need to do that; it’s not me they’re after, Max. You shouldn’t indebt yourself to anyone because of me.”
“They owe me, I just never cared enough before to call in the marker.”
“So, why do it now?” she persists, and I think about ignoring the question, but I don’t.
“I would rather not get shot to death in front of you, Tess.”
She’s walking beside me, but at my blunt words I can see her stumble in my peripheral vision.
“If you give yourself up, they won’t. I mean, we could tell them you were saving me, and we were walking back to turn yourself in. They wouldn’t have to know anything else, Max.”
“It must be nice living in your dream world, Kitten. I’m an escaped convict with a pretty woman who has been missing for days. They are definitely going to shoot first and ask questions later. Besides, I’m starting to think I want to be free.”
“You could get parole, Max. It might take a little bit of time for a new hearing, but I would testify for you. You could get parole, I know it.”
I listen to her words, and the hope laced in them, and I know she believes what she is saying. I also know that the courts aren’t stupid, and even with her on my side, parole is a long shot, after breaking free from jail for a few days. There’s also no guarantee. I could rot away for years in that hellhole. Before, it didn’t bother me, but knowing Tess is on the outside, and I can’t take care of her, or watch over her, would slowly kill me from the inside, out. I need to think. Problem is, I have trouble doing that around her.
“Please, Max,” she whispers, her hand on my arm.
“Are you forgetting I just killed two people and not a day ago you were scared of me?” The devil inside of me makes me remind her. Forces her to acknowledge our differences.
“They were trying to hurt me, and he was going to kill you. We could explain, Max. It would be extenuating circumstances. We have to try.”
I turn to look at her, and it doesn’t seem real. Maybe it’s the intensity of the situation; I don’t know. It feels as if we’ve been together a lot longer than we have. The plea in her eyes grabs me, and even though I know I can’t give her what she wants, I need to reassure her. The lie comes so easily. The relief on her face is my payoff.
“We’ll hold up at Marcum’s for a day or so, and I’ll think about it, Tess.”
Her sweet, full lips spread into a smile, and I feel like a ba
stard for giving her false hope. One more day I promise myself. I just need her sweetness around me for one more day. Then I’ll face what lies before me. Then I will let her go.
As we continue walking, I can’t figure out who is lying to themselves the most. Tess, for thinking it will all work out somehow if I turn myself in, or me, for thinking one more day is all I need or want.
It’s probably me. I’ve been saying one more day since the beginning, and I’m a big enough bastard to admit that I’m going to keep her longer still. There’s no way I can give her up until I absolutely have to.
“How long till we get to your friend’s?”
“Getting tired?”
“Just a little bit, around the edges. Not so you could tell. I could probably go for another week really,” she wisecracks.
My lips twist to keep the smile from forming.
“About another hour or so.”
“Or so? Is that like you’re telling me an hour, but in reality it is probably two or three hours?”
“That’s me telling you that if you talked less and picked up your walking, we’d probably make it in about an hour. But since you are you, it will probably be more like two hours.”
“That hurts, Max,” she huffs, but I notice she doesn’t argue with me. “Will there at least be beds at this friend’s house? And maybe even a hot shower? Oh good Lord in Heaven, please tell me there will be a hot shower.”
An image of Tess naked in the shower, my cock buried inside of her; flashes before my eyes and I have to adjust myself to keep the zipper in my pants from destroying my cock.
“I’d say a shower is a must,” I tell her gruffly. Her eyes follow my hands as I adjust myself. She doesn’t say anything, but the welcome is not there as it has been in the past. I guess the ghosts from yesterday are still between us. I’m still keeping her for a few more days. I’m not giving her a choice.