Valentine's Day Virgin

"You know what the office is like right now. I'll be there until midnight tonight, and tomorrow too, probably. I don't exactly have the time to go out to a bar and find a pretty girl who's willing to go to a party with me." And I'm not going to hire someone either, though the thought did cross my mind for the briefest of seconds. I could never do that. It's too close to home.

But the fact that my life is in an office building across town doesn't change the fact that what Bianca just said is true. If I show up to the party alone my mother won't be happy, or worse...

"Yeah, I don't know," I say. "Have you found someone?"

Bianca shifts uncomfortably. "Yeah," she says. "I've been seeing someone for a few months. I hadn't told anyone about it, but now seemed like as good a time as any to introduce him to the circus."

I stare at her. "You want to introduce Mom to your actual boyfriend on Valentine’s Day? She's going to be thrilled. But then you're going to have to marry him."

"Don't be silly," Bianca says. "She'll understand if it doesn't work out."

It's my turn to roll my eyes. “Have you met our mother?”

“James is nice,” she says, “and I really like him. It’s to that point where I need to introduce him, otherwise it looks like I’m intentionally hiding something. He wants to meet the family, even though I’ve warned him about everything, so I’m stuck. It has to happen.” She shrugs, “I’ve resigned myself.”

“Well,” I say, “if you’re bringing someone maybe that means that she’ll be okay if I don’t.”

Bianca laughs out loud. “That was funny.”

"It could happen," I say.

Bianca takes a sip of her wine. "It's not like you to be delusional, Eric. You show up alone, Mom is going to be heartbroken, and she's going to spiral. And then she's not only going to take you and me down with her anxiety, she's going to take the whole family down. And as much as I want you to not have to bring a date, I really don't want to see that again, do you?"

I sigh. "No."

"You could call Susan," she suggests.

"No thanks," I say, taking a swig of the scotch. "I'd rather piss off Mom than do that."

Bianca swirls her wine in her glass and levels her most forceful stare at me. "That's a little dramatic."

"I promise you it's not. Susan was only here for the money, and on top of that, Mom hates her."

She sighs. "Fine." A second later her eyes light up and she claps her hands together, waking Edison who is snoozing on her lap. "I have a much better idea," she says as John places the plate of pasta in front of her. "I'll find you a date!"

John and I lock eyes for a second as he places the plate with my steak on it in front of me. It's a second of shared male terror of allowing your sister to set you up with one of her friends. "No thanks, Bianca."

"Oh stop, it won't be like last time. I know someone who owes me a favor. Kind of. Or at least she believes she owes me a favor."

"You're going to blackmail some poor girl into going to this party with me?"

Bianca looks offended. "Blackmail? I don't think so. The poor girl would practically fall over her feet to pay me back what she thinks she owes me. It's a win-win. You get a date, and I won't have to spend any time convincing her that she doesn't actually owe me anything. Besides, she's cute. I think you'll like her."

"And this mystery girl that you've pulled out of your sleeve isn't going to be someone you hired?"

She rolls her eyes. "No."

"Last question," I say. "She's not going to be offended that she's going as arm candy? You're not going to paint a romantic picture in her head that I'm going to sweep her away for some kind of romantic date and live happily ever after?"

Bianca laughs. "As perfectly ironic as that would be, considering how much you hate this time of year, no. I'll make sure she knows it's just so that our family doesn't fall apart." She grins. "With as little detail as possible, of course."

There's something nagging at my brain, but I can't find a better way than what she's suggesting. I'm never going to find someone in time if I don't take her offer. Might as well suffer through it. The party is going to be hell either way. "All right. I want to meet her before the party though. Can you have her stop by the office later today?"

"Sure," she says, a conspiratorial grin on her face. "Who knows, maybe you'll actually want to sweep her off her feet."

"Not likely."

“You never know.” Bianca winks.

“I do know. It’s not going to happen.”

"Have an open mind, Eric," she sighs. "There's healing at your own pace, and then there's just being fucking stubborn. You're dangerously close to the latter."

I cut into my steak, pushing down the sudden denial and anger that her comment brings up. "Mind your own business," I say.

"If I'm suddenly saving your ass, I think I'm entitled to a few truthful comments. Eventually you're going to have to let go of this anger, because it's not going to help you, and it's starting to really screw with your life. Just...think about it, okay?"

"Fine," I say, only to get her to change the topic.

"Is four-thirty okay for her to come to your office?"

I nod. "Works for me."

"I'll make it happen. Now," she says, leaning forward. "Tell me about all the disasters."

"That might take more time than we have."

She laughs. "Just one then."

"One of our printers ran out of paper."

Bianca's eyes go wide. "No."

"Yep." I launch into the story of the disaster I had to solve yesterday, while I'm painfully aware that her comments hit home. I am angry, and I don't know what to do about it. And then there's the mystery of this girl. I hope she knows what she's getting into and Bianca isn't trying to set a trap for me to fall in love. I'm not ready for that. Not sure if I ever will be. But I'll make sure she knows that when we meet. In the meantime, all I can do is eat my lunch and try to brace myself for the war zone when I get back to the office.

3

Sally

When the phone chimes I open my eyes. I've been lying in bed since I got home, kind of sleeping, kind of not. The adrenaline really took it out of me, but also the overwhelming knowledge that I no longer have a job. It's not like I really wanted to be working at a chocolate cart, but it was comfortable and easy. Now I'm not sure what I'm going to do.

I grab for my phone at the nightstand, and my eyes go wide. It's Bianca. I honestly didn't think I'd be hearing from her today, or ever, really. She didn't want to give me her number, I could tell that. I was going to reach out once I had saved up enough money to pay her back. That could have taken months though. I swipe the message open.

Do you have plans for Valentine’s Day?