“This, Star, is just the beginning. I’m off to the London book fair in Earl’s Court next week and we’ll sell the foreign rights there. I think this series will do very well on the foreign language markets. Obviously, the American rights will be auctioned off in a similar way in two weeks’ time. That should be a sizable chunk too. Probably a similar amount to that paid by the UK.”
I walk to a couch and sit down, but I’m so exhilarated I can’t even sit still.
“Why don’t you pop into the office tomorrow and we can discuss all the details then?”
“I will.”
“Book an appointment with Lisa.”
“Mr. Thiel?”
“Yes.”
“Thank you so much. I’m so glad I found your agency. You and Daria and all the girls have been amazing.” My voice breaks. “You have no idea how awesome it is just to be published. Let alone all these crazy sums of money you’re throwing around. I never imagined.”
“Don’t thank me, Star. It was a pleasure to read your book, and to represent you. Now, why don’t you start making arrangements to go out and celebrate your windfall.”
I laugh through my tears of joy. “Okay. Thank you again.”
I hang up and stare out of the window into the garden. Tears are running unchecked from my eyes. I don’t know why I’m crying. Then I call Rosa.
“Make it fast,” she says. “I’m real busy.”
“Rosa,” I sob. “Peter sold my series.”
“So why do you sound so cut up about it?”
“It’s for really a lot of money.”
“Oh yeah? How much?”
“£350,000 to start with.”
“What?” she bursts out. “Jesus, Star. That is incredible.”
“I know. Peter says the US publishers will probably offer a similar sum.”
“Oh. My. God. You are rich!”
I laugh. “It is a lot, isn’t it?”
“I’m so proud of you, Star. This is the best news I’ve heard for the last ten years.”
“Thanks,” I say shyly.
“Have you told Nigel?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I’ll tell him later. He’ll be at work now and I don’t want to disturb him.”
‘Does Nikolai know?”
“Not yet. I’ll tell him after this call.”
“Where is he anyway?” she asks.
“In his study.”
“Go tell him the good news, then. I’ve really got to go, but I’ll call you later. Congratulations, babe.” She blows kisses before ending the call.
I stand up and pace the floor. I know what I must do, but some part of me doesn’t want to do it. I know I have to. I walk to Nikolai’s study and knock on the door.
“Come in,” he calls.
I open the door and am confronted by a roomful of men in expensive suits. Every face turns to look at me.
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t realize you were busy,” I apologize, backing away.
“Excuse me, gentlemen,” Nikolai says, and stands.
“Don’t worry, don’t worry, I’ll catch you later,” I say quickly, and close the door.
I cover my mouth with my hand. Shit. I hope he’s not mad at me for interrupting his meeting. It looked important. The door wrenches open behind me. I whirl around and Nikolai is standing there, his eyes narrowed.
“What is it?” he asks.
“Oh, it was nothing really. It can wait until you finish.”
“If you found it important enough to come looking for me I want to know what it is.”
I smile. “It’s nothing bad.”
His expression doesn’t change. “What is it?”
“Well, Peter Thiel called.”
“Uh … huh.”
“They sold my series.”
His expression softens. “Yeah?”
“Guess how much?”
His lips twist. “I don’t know. Surprise me?”
“This is just for the UK and English speaking worldwide market. It doesn’t include America, or the foreign language translations.”
He nods.
“£350,000.”
He smiles, a genuine smile. “Well done, little butterfly. That’s brilliant.”
I bite my lip. “I … I wanted to thank you. If not for you I wouldn’t have had the guts to send my work.”
He shrugs away my thanks. “You would have eventually sent it anyway.”
“Anyway, I was thinking I should use some of it to pay you back. It was not fair what Nigel did.”
He starts frowning.
“I mean. I feel responsible. He’s my husband after all.”
He stares at me.
“Maybe we can work something out and I can return home sooner.”
I see a flash of something in his eyes, it looks like hurt, but it’s gone so quickly I must have imagined it. How can it be hurt anyway?
“All right,” he says and his voice is even and neutral. “We’ll work something out when we go out to celebrate tonight.”
I feel a strange sense of emptiness in the pit of my stomach. Like how I felt when my pet rabbit died. Loss. This is it. This is the end of our time together. I force a smile. “Okay.”
“Buy something pretty to wear tonight,” he murmurs.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I’ll get Sophia to sort an account in a nice boutique for you.”
I smile softly up at him. I want to touch his face but I don’t. He is not for me. Nigel is my husband. I take a step back. “I’ll never forget you, Nikolai.”
He stares at me for a moment saying nothing. “No, I guess you won’t,” he says softly.
“Right, I guess you better get back to your meeting.”
“Hmmm …”
I take another step back and then I take two steps forward and, lifting myself on my tiptoes, kiss him on his cheek.
Then I turn around and run away from him, because I don’t understand what is going on in my heart.
Chapter Forty-Three
Star
I go back to my room and pace the floor. I know I should call Nigel. I should give him my good news, but for some weird reason I am reluctant. I never told him I sent my work and it feels like a betrayal. Or maybe I’m just afraid he will say something that will spoil my joy. Or I could just be afraid of how he will react to me earning money. Being financially independent.
For ages I hang around in my room unsure about how to break the news to him. Eventually, I decide that I won’t tell him just yet. I will tell him once I have brokered something with Nikolai. Once I know exactly when I will be leaving for home. That will be better. More sensible. Anyway, I don’t want to tell him on the phone. I need to see his face when I tell him.
I call Cindy and she squeals with delight. Then I call my nan. Granddad picks up the phone and I break the news to him.
“I didn’t hear it right, Love. What did you say?”
I grin happily. “No, Granddad, you heard right.”
“Three hundred thousand pounds?”
“No, three hundred and fifty thousand pounds,” I correct cheekily.
“Pull the other one, little monkey,” he says with a laugh
“I swear I’m not joking, Granddad.”
“Crikey, lass. That’s a whole heap of money.” He holds the phone away and shouts for my nan.
When she comes on the phone it gets a lot more colorful and we end up laughing like crazy.
That afternoon, Andrei drives me to a very exclusive boutique in Notting Hill. As soon as I enter, a beautiful woman with glossy dark hair, and wearing a glamorous, two-tone dress, stands up and greets me. She must be in her thirties, or even older, but she is as well preserved as a Hollywood celebrity.
“Hello, you must be … Star.” Her voice is throaty and she is not English.
“Yes. That’s me.”
“And you’re looking for a special outfit,” she says with a smile, but her smile doesn’t reach her eyes. She lo
oks at me with a knowing, almost pitying expression.
“Yes,” I say carefully.
“Come with me and I’ll show you what we have in the way of very exclusive, one off designs. Some of them are practically off the catwalks.” She walks me to the back of the shop. “I have picked out something special that I think will suit you very well.”
She takes me to a curtained off area where there are two dresses on the rack. “I think the red one would be perfect on you,” she says.
I walk up to it and touch it. Something is bothering me. I don’t like this woman, and I don’t want to buy anything from her.
“You’ll look beautiful in it. Niko likes his women in red.”
Niko.
I don’t get to call him that. I don’t turn around. I know now what is bothering me. Either she was, or still is, his lover. He sent me to buy a dress from one of his lovers! What an unfeeling bastard. Somehow that hurts me. Really deeply. I don’t know why it does, but it does. The air feels thick and poisoned and I feel as if I can’t breathe. I turn around.
“I’m sorry, but I’m suddenly not feeling very well. I’ll have to come back another day.”
She frowns. “Oh?”