Tyler: Yeah, but like you said, your mother would be upset if you left. You’re doing what she wants. She probably doesn’t want you seeing her suffer, either. Don’t feel guilty about anything. She’s proud of you. She wants you to do your thing. That makes her happy.His words had definitely given me comfort.Jade: Thank you.Tyler: No need to thank me.Over the next several minutes, I kept typing sentences and erasing them, unsure of what to say next. I just knew I had never wanted anything more than to keep this chat going. I’d been miserable for weeks, but for some reason, talking to Tyler was making it all better.Tyler: You typing up a dissertation there?Jade: What do you mean?Tyler: All I see are those little dots. It seemed like you were typing a lot.Shit.Tyler: Something you want to say?Jade: To be honest, I’m not sure what to say next. I just know I’m enjoying chatting with you.Tyler: You don’t have to say anything compelling. I’m enjoying just shooting the shit with you, too. I’ve had this idea of you in my head, and so far you’re nothing like it.Jade: What idea was that?Tyler: Just a preconceived notion of what a Broadway actress would be like.Jade: You thought I was full of myself?Tyler: I guess I was afraid of that, yeah. You’re a little intimidating.Jade: That’s funny, because you’re actually the one making ME nervous right now.Tyler: I can sense that. And I can’t even believe you just said that, by the way.Jade: Why?Tyler: Do you not remember the first time we met?Jade: I remember.God, how could I forget?Tyler: When I forgot how to speak?Jade: Yes.Tyler: When I fucking broke that beer bottle?Jade: Yes. LOL.Tyler: It was because YOU made me nervous.Jade: Why?Tyler: I still don’t understand it. That had never happened to me.Jade: I guess some things are just inexplicable.Tyler. Yeah. They are.I was staring at the screen, still unsure of what to say but positive of my not wanting this conversation to end.Tyler: Wanna know the truth?Jade: Yes.His next message floored me.Tyler: I thought you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.TYLERWell, that was a fucking stupid thing to say.
Dickhead!
She wasn’t responding. Great. Why the fuck did I just admit that again? Oh, yeah, because I’m a fucking idiot.
Totally inappropriate.
I fisted my hand and bit on my knuckles as I watched the little dots dancing around as she typed. She was either unsure of how to respond to my asinine admission or was about to tell me to go fuck myself.Jade: Well, if you saw me now, you wouldn’t think so.Phew. Alright, she’s attempting to make light of it.Tyler: Why? What are you wearing?What are you wearing?
Seriously? Fuck. There I go again.
Quick. Make a joke.Tyler: Can I just ask…whatever it is, does it involve giant, gold paper clips?Jade: They were safety pins, not paper clips! And no, it doesn’t. LOL. Actually, it’s a pretty ugly scene here tonight. I’ve got my leopard print Snuggie on because my apartment is freezing. I was too tired to take my makeup off, so I have raccoon eyes, and I just spilled a little rum and Coke on myself. And if I haven’t yet sank to the lowest point in my life, I might have just licked it off the sleeve of my Snuggie.Somehow, even with all of that said, I doubted she looked anything but freaking gorgeous.Tyler: Okay…I didn’t hear anything past Snuggie. Explain.Jade: OMG…You don’t know what a Snuggie is? It’s a wearable blanket.Tyler: Oh, I KNOW what it is. I’m just wondering what in God’s name you’re doing wearing one.Jade: LOL. It’s the best. I live in this in the winter. Saves so much on heat because it keeps me really warm.Tyler: You’re basically wrapping yourself up like an Eskimo to save on heat? Don’t they pay you enough?Jade: Not to live in this city, no.Tyler: Well, if you’re gonna wear a Snuggie, why not draw even more attention to yourself by making it leopard print. ;-)Jade: My thoughts exactly. LOL!I could practically hear her laughter through the computer screen. I knew she needed to laugh. That made me smile.Tyler: By the way, I saw our nephew today.Jade: How is he?Tyler: He called me a dick.Jade: OMG…I just literally spit out my drink.Tyler: Careful. You wouldn’t want to have to take that Snuggie to the dry cleaners. That would be embarrassing.Jade: LOL. Okay…Little D is only a year old. There is no way he called you a dick.Tyler: I swear to God. It was his first word. Chelsea was there and confirmed it. He looked straight into my eyes and said, “dick.”Jade: What did you do?Tyler: I nodded and said, “Touché, little man.”Jade: That’s too funny.Tyler: It was.Jade: How is my sister doing? I mean, I talk to her almost every day, but it’s hard to gauge if she’s downplaying things to make me feel less guilty.