Her passion for life and ambition were partly what I loved about her.
“You deserve everything you want. You shouldn’t have to settle. Ever. I can relate in that I’m sort of stuck between what I want for myself and what I feel I need to do for others. If I were really serious about acting, I’d have moved to L.A. or New York. I want a comfortable life near my family and friends, but I also crave more. Much more. So, I can relate to that anxious feeling. Like there’s something bigger out there waiting to be had that I’m missing out on.”
She smiled like she understood exactly what I was saying. “I think we’re a lot alike that way.”
“Yeah.”
Our eyes locked for longer than normal.
Jade suddenly said, “It’s getting really hot in here. I think I need a break from the zebra for a while.”
Jade lifted the blanket over her head, revealing the thin, white shirt she was wearing underneath. Her erect nipples were peeking through. I couldn’t help but stare for a few seconds. Maybe more than a few. I knew she was aware of how attracted to her I was. It was certainly no secret. But she couldn’t have known just how much I wanted her in that moment. My dick stiffened, and I fought like hell to keep from getting hard.
I didn’t know what came over me, but I was bursting with need, a need to tell her what I was thinking. The words left my mouth before I could think them through.
“I would leave her for you, Jade.”JADEDid he just say what I think he did?
Tyler continued, “I don’t know how to say this…without coming across like a total dick. Despite what our nephew thinks…and even what Damien thinks of me sometimes, I’m really not a dick. I’m trying to be a better person than I used to be.”
I appreciated his honesty, and even though it filled me with excitement, it made me more nervous than anything.
“Saying that you’ll leave your girlfriend for me doesn’t exactly give me the warm fuzzies. Who’s to say that this won’t happen again? Someone else will come along better, prettier than me…and history repeats itself.”
Tyler momentarily gripped his own hair, looking like he was struggling to explain his feelings. “I didn’t think I wanted anything else, Jade. I was happy—so I thought. I wasn’t looking for you. If you want a logical explanation as to why I feel the way I do about you, I can’t give you that. I can’t explain what it is about you that causes me to lose my mind. I’ve tried to understand it. I just know that when I first met you, I thought you were the most beautiful woman in the world on the outside, but even that couldn’t quite explain my reaction. Now that I’ve gotten to know you over time, I am certain that it’s what’s on the inside that’s most beautiful. I’m crazy about you, but I don’t know if you feel the same about me, because you’ve never told me. And it’s a really shitty thing to say that I haven’t left Nicole because I don’t know if I can ever really have you, but that’s the truth. I feel like a piece of shit for feeling the way I do, but I need to be honest with you. I want you to know that I have never felt this way about anyone.”
Hearing him say that was as terrifying as it was amazing. “You scare me, Tyler.”
“Why?”
“Because from the moment I first met you, I felt like you belonged to me in some way. I don’t know whether it was because you’re Damien’s brother and I’m Chelsea’s sister, and so it would make sense that we would be matched up or what…but I felt this unwarranted possessiveness from the moment we met. And obviously, that’s a problem… because you’re taken. I thought the feeling would just go away. But I couldn’t stop thinking about you after that day. That was why I was on your Facebook page that first time we connected. But I just don’t know how to do the long-distance thing or even know how to fully trust you. All I know is that when we’re connecting, I feel differently than I do when I’m with anyone else. But I have to admit, it scares me, because I don’t know if it could really work between us.”
His eyes darkened. “Why do you doubt that?”
“Let’s just assume Nicole wasn’t even in the picture. Let’s just look at you and me. I get almost no time off. You wouldn’t want to leave your family and move to New York with no job. And then what if you got there and weren’t happy? There are just a lot of unknowns, and honestly, Tyler, I don’t know if I could ever stand to lose you. I know that sounds strange, but in other words, I can’t lose you if I never have you in the first place. Does that make sense?”