When I thought I heard a noise behind me, I asked, “Are you there?”
After a brief pause, came the deep sound of his voice. “Yes. I’m working in my office. I’m not eavesdropping on you.”
Not really expecting an answer, my heart started to pound.
After a minute passed, I broke the ice. “Thank you for the shirt.”
“Well, I owed you a shirt…and an apology.”
“I know I really didn’t give you a chance to apologize. I’m sorry.”
He didn’t say anything, so I continued, “What are their names? The dogs.”
“Dudley and Drewfus.”
“Cute. Where did you come up with those?”
“I didn’t.”
“Who did?”
“My ex.”
Interesting.
“I see.”
“Why are they so quiet at night…like right now…but so noisy in the morning?”
“They’re not here.”
“Where are they?”
“They’re with her. We share custody. She drops them off here on the way to work in the morning, and I return them at night.”
“Wow. I was wondering why I never hear them in the evenings. Now, it makes sense.” I had to know. “So, you used to be married?”
“No. Ex-girlfriend.”
“She used to live here with you and the dogs?”
“You know, for someone who didn’t want me knowing her business, you sure are nosey as fuck.”
“Sorry. But it’s only fair, don’t you think, after you’ve heard so much about me?”
He sighed. “Yes. She used to live here.”
“What happened?”
“What do you think happened? We broke up.”
“I know that. But I mean…why didn’t it work out?”
“There’s not always a clear answer to that question. It’s not always as simple as…” He hesitated. “Someone fucking their stepsister.”
Oh. My. God.
He’s such an asshole!
He’d definitely been listening to more than just the last session. Feeling ashamed, I’d never told anyone except Jade and Dr. Little that the woman Elec left me for was actually his stepsister, whom he’d apparently been in love with for years—since he was a teenager.
When I didn’t say anything, he chuckled. “I’m sorry. That was bad. I’m going to hell.”
I remained silent, shaking my head in disbelief.
He continued, “That really happened? Sounds like something out of a bad book.”
“Yes, it really happened. What else did you hear?”
“Christ, I’m not judging you, Chelsea. I could care less about all of it. It doesn’t matter.”
“It matters to me.”
“That therapist is ripping you off.”
“Why do you say that?”
“She’s pulling unicorns out of her ass just to get you to keep questioning everything so you keep paying her money. Tell me this. After all these weeks, are you any closer to feeling better, figuring it all out?”
“No.”
“That’s because sometimes there isn’t a satisfying explanation for everything. You want an answer? Shit happens. There’s your answer. People fall out of love, in love, fuck up. It’s part of life. You didn’t do anything wrong. Stop trying to figure out what you did wrong.”
Closing my eyes, I let his words resonate. To my surprise, my eyes were welling up. Not because he was yelling at me, but because it was the first time it really sank in that there was nothing I could have done to stop what happened. And that maybe it wasn’t all my fault.
I finally spoke again. “I wasn’t always so insecure. It’s just…the experience with him—with Elec—has really been a defining moment in my life because it’s made me question everything. I thought I did everything right to make that relationship work. I believed he loved me, and I felt safe with him, saw my entire future with him. I would have bet my life on it. I just feel like I won’t be able to ever trust anyone with my heart again. That scares me, because I don’t want to end up alone. I really thought he was the one.”
“Well, clearly, he wasn’t. You just have to accept that and move on. I know that’s easier said than done, but that’s what it comes down to. You have no choice but to accept it, so it’s up to you whether you want to waste more time living in the past, trying to solve an insoluble problem instead of moving on with your life.”
God, he was right.
I cracked a smile. “How did you get to be so smart?”
“This is all common sense.”
“No. Not just this. I mean…MIT?”
“How did you find out about that?”
“So, the rumor’s true?”
“Yes. I went there, but it’s not something I brag about.”
“You should be very proud of yourself. That’s amazing.”
“It’s not that amazing. People fighting for our country…kids battling cancer…those are amazing people. Sitting in a physics class with a bunch of other nerds is hardly amazing.”
“You’re hardly a nerd, Damien.”
“Not on the surface, no.”
“I would have never guessed based on…”
“Based on what?”
“How you look…that you went to MIT.”
“Why? Because I have ink and work out?”
“No, it’s not that. It’s just you’re…”
Effing gorgeous. And no one as hot as you could possibly be equally as smart.
“Never mind,” I said.
I closed my eyes again, relishing the new clarity brought on by his straightforward advice.