Neighbor Dearest

“Nah. I know you’re not really crazy. When I called the youth center to confirm your employment, I couldn’t get them off the phone. They wouldn’t stop talking about how wonderful you are with the kids there. I figured you were good people. So, even when you were being a pain in the ass about the dogs, I never thought you were a bad person.”

“I didn’t realize you called my job.”

“I check everyone out thoroughly before giving them a place here. I don’t want the stress of having to evict people. But even good people sometimes take advantage.”

“Like not paying their rent?”

“Yeah…but it’s one thing if they can’t afford it. What pisses me off is when they’re late and just bought a brand new car, or they’re going out to eat every fucking night. That’s one of the advantages of living in the building you own. I can see the shit that goes on. If you’ve ever seen me lose it on someone, it’s only because they’re bullshitting me, telling me they can’t pay their rent when they’re fucking driving a better car than I am.”

“I used to think you were just being mean. I made assumptions about you before I knew certain things. I’m sorry for that.”

“Oh no, I quite liked being called Angry Artist.”

I almost asked him how he knew about that term but soon realized that would have been a dumb question. His stare burned into mine once again. I found myself having to look away.

I suspected there were many layers to Damien. I wanted to peel them slowly. It had been so long since I’d wanted to know everything about someone. It scared me how much he knew about me, though.

“Do you think I’m pathetic?” I suddenly asked.

“Why would you say that?”

“After all the stuff you overheard?”

“No. I really don’t. You have every right to be upset by what your ex did to you. The guy told you he loved you. He led you to believe certain things. He promised you something, and he faltered on it. You don’t do that to someone.”

“You never told Jenna you loved her?”

“No. I didn’t. And I never promised her anything, either. I don’t make promises I can’t keep. That’s the difference between him and me. The thing is, you’re letting his mistakes reflect on you somehow. You didn’t do anything wrong but be a loving girlfriend. He didn’t deserve you.”

My heart suddenly felt heavy. “Thank you for saying that.”

“But you need to move on.”

His words were sobering. Of course I knew I needed to move past my issues about Elec. It was just easier said than done.

“I guess I don’t really know the best way to do that.”

“Stop focusing on it. Stop giving it power. You need distractions to do that. You have to put yourself out there. You need to get in the dating game.”

“That’s what I mean by I don’t know how to do it. I haven’t ever dated.”

Damien squinted in disbelief. “How is that possible?”

“I’d just broken up with my high school boyfriend a few months before Elec started working at the youth center. Elec and I became friends, and then it eventually morphed into something more. So, I went from one serious relationship right into another. I’ve literally never dated. I don’t even know how people go about dating nowadays. Do you go to bars? What do you do to meet people?”

“What do I do…or what do most people do? All I need to do is just…be. Women flock to me.”

“Seriously?”

“I’m kidding. Sort of.” He winked. “Someone like you? You should do online dating. But only meet people in public places. Otherwise, it’s too risky.”

“I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”

“It’ll take ten minutes. You just need a picture of yourself to create a profile.” He suddenly got up.

“Where are you going?”

“Getting my laptop. We’ll do it right now.”

Hit with an onslaught of disappointment, I hoped my face didn’t give me away. I hated that I felt this way, but it bummed me out that Damien was so quick to pawn me off. It basically closed the door on any potential interest in me before the door really even opened, I suppose.

“What are you…my pimp?”

“No. But you seem clueless, like you could use some guidance. So, I’m offering to get you started. Unless you don’t want my help.”

Hell, if he wasn’t interested in me, I might as well let him help me.

“I guess it couldn’t hurt.”

“Alright, then.” He pulled up the site and spoke as he typed. “Your user name is Chelsea Jameson, and your password is fire3…since you like threesomes.”

“Thanks a lot. That will be easy enough to remember.”

Jackass.

He continued entering information. “Name…Chelsea. Age…” Damien looked at me for clarification.

“Twenty-five.”

“Height?”

“Five foot four.”

“Weight?”

“They ask that?”

“They do, but you don’t have to put it down.”

“Skip…on principle.”

“Bra size?”