There's something in my chest and I'm not sure if it's pain or relief or something entirely different. "You remember that?"
"Of course I do,” he says. “I remember a lot more than you probably think I do. Even if it’s stuff you don’t want to remember.”
“Yeah.”
He clears his throat. “It’s why I asked about your life. I want to know about it, and I hope to god it was better than high school because almost everyone in that school let you down. Including me.”
“Adam,” I say. “That’s not your responsibility.”
“I know, but I still want to know everything.”
I hold the book to my chest—I don’t want to let it go yet. “After college, Lorraine and I moved here together. We were roommates for a while, but eventually we each wanted our own space. It took a few years for me to get the job at my firm, and I worked some weird temp jobs, but I look back on those years happily, even if they were hard. I went through a lot of therapy. All in all I’ve had a good life.”
He’s slipped closer while I was talking, and I’m aware of the distance between us. “How are your parents?”
“You really want to talk about my parents right now?” I ask, looking at his lips.
“I really want to know everything about you,” he says, “but you’re right. Maybe it can wait.”
I put the book carefully down onto the coffee table, and then I'm kissing him. He kisses me back, lips crushing mine and god, I could kiss him forever. We collapse onto the couch together, tangled together just like we were last night, but this doesn't feel as charged. This feels deliciously comfortable and comforting. Adam's hand slips behind my neck, tipping my face closer to his so he can kiss me more deeply, and I feel myself growing wet and that growing need in my stomach that wants more of him and what we had last night and this morning.
Just like at the door, there's an edge to Adam's kiss, and I suddenly remember where he just was. I pull back far enough for me to see his face, and I love that we're this close, pressed up against one another. "How did things go with your dad?"
Adam's face darkens. "As well as they ever go with him, I suppose."
"What happened?"
He doesn't say anything, but I feel like I watch a whole journey on his face. Pain and desperation and fear, and suddenly he focuses on me again, and it's like the rest of it disappears. "I'm sorry, I can't talk about it yet."
There's a tiny stab of disappointment, but I check it. It's hard to believe that this has been less than a day, but it has. I can't expect him to confide in me like that yet. "That's okay."
"Thank you," he kisses me softly and I melt against him. My shirt has ridden up and now his fingers are teasing my skin and it's driving me a little mad. "I'm going to be doing marathon shifts at the hospital for a few days. I'll be sleeping there. So I probably won't be able to see you, or call. I'll text when I can."
"That's okay," I say, laughing. "It's your job."
"I just didn't want you to think that I was disappearing."
I smile. "Thank you."
Leaning in, he presses his lips to my neck, tasting me with his tongue. "What were you doing before I got here?"
"Reading," I say. "Waiting for you."
"What were you reading?" His mouth is still on my skin, hands pushing my shirt up further so I'm more exposed.
I try to focus on the question, but he's making it very difficult. "A business book," I say. "So I can counsel my clients better."
He chuckles. "How very responsible of you."
"It's actually interesting."
"Tell me," he says, suddenly pulling me on top of him, and tugging at my shirt until I let him tug it off. Now I'm straddling him, looking down, and very much feeling how hard he is under my hips.
"Umm..." I'm not sure how I'm supposed to talk when all I can think about is fucking him. I can't remember any words. What are words? Why do they matter when this is happening?
Adam grins. "Go ahead."
"The book was about Parkinson's Law." He's undoing his belt, and my mouth goes dry. I stammer out the rest. "Which says that demand swells to meet supply."
"Isn't that backwards?"
"Not when you're talking about money," I say, transfixed by him and his hands as he grabs his cock and rolls on a condom. "Businesses get these infuses of money, and they justify reasons to spend it, and suddenly they have no cash flow."
"Fascinating," he says.
"Yeah."
"So," he tucks his fingers in the waistband of my pants and tugs them down. "Along with the book, I brought a very large box of condoms. Are you saying that the demand for them is going to swell to meet the supply I brought?"
I rise up just enough to let him slip into me, and I moan. "I think the demand for those was already there."
"Good," he says, thrusting up into me. From everything last night and this morning, I'm just a little sore, but the tiny edge of pain somehow makes the pleasure that much sharper. I close my eyes, letting it wash over me as we roll our hips together.
Lowering myself onto his chest, his arms come around me, holding me close while he moves faster, thrusts deeper, and I hold on, because it's perfect and my mind is blank and I don't think I can move even if I wanted to.
Adam groans as he moves, one thrust after another after another. My mouth is open in a silent cry, and I'm pulling in breath after breath, just trying to hold on, to feel. Yes, sweet god yes.
And then I'm on my back again. I'm not sure how I got there, but Adam is above me and I can't look away. There's something about this, I'm not sure what. I get why he didn't want to fuck on the couch last night, but doing it now feels real somehow. Like in this short time we went from being old acquaintances to lovers and to a real and actual couple. It's casual and breathtaking and I'm so close.
So close.
I take a breath and hold it, trying to make the moment before—the pleasure pulsing and spinning and shimmering—last. And then Adam drives in one more time and I can't hold it. Everything explodes in golden fireworks behind my eyes, and I shake underneath him. The orgasm is fast like an adrenaline rush that fizzes through me, and it feels like every nerve is overloaded at once, tingling up my spine and outward before evaporating and leaving me cursing under my breath.
Adam laughs, and then groans as he speeds up, so close too. I grab his face and kiss him, opening my mouth to him and showing him how much I loved that. I feel his breath catch and he pushes in once more, holding deep inside me. His cock jerks inside me as he comes, and he's kissing me hard, not letting me go.
I'm not sure how long it takes us to come back. It's a while, we'
re lost in each other and our kiss and the aftermath of pleasure.
Adam pulls away, standing and disappearing into the bathroom for a minute. I re-adjust my clothes, and when Adam comes back, he lies down next to me again, and wraps his arms around me.
"I'm so glad I bought a couch that's deep enough for two."
His lips are pressed against my forehead, and I feel the vibration when he laughs. "Me too." He breathes deep. "Ollie, I know it probably feels like ten years too late, but I like you."
I'm blushing even though he's not looking at my face.
"I really like you, and I want to make sure that you know. That you don't think I'm just using the opportunity for sex."
"I hadn't thought that," I say, "but I'm happy that you let me know. And I like you too. If I'm honest with myself, I don't think that I ever stopped liking you."
His hold tightens a little, and the tiny gesture warms my chest. "We're going to need to learn about each other as adults."
"What's your favorite color?" I ask, laughing. "Like that?"
"Blue, and yes, like that."
Leaning my forehead against his chest, I take a breath. "I like purple, but not the dark purple. More like periwinkle. I still love World's Waterfall even if it's nerdy. I want to travel way more than I have, somewhere amazing like Greece or Ireland or Sri Lanka. I do like my job, but I fantasize about quitting and being a writer who lives by the beach. I want a perfect wedding and kids someday, and no matter what I’ve eaten, I will always make room for pizza."
I can feel him smiling. "That's a good list."
"It's your turn."
He takes a moment, and he does start to speak his voice sounds different. Deeper, almost emotional. "I like my job, but sometimes I want to run away and never come back. But now, I'd take you with me."
"That sounds nice."
One of Adam's hands moves up and tangles in my hair, gently tugging on it until I tilt my face back to look up at him. "Maybe someday."
"Where would we go?" I ask him as he touches his lips to mine, barely a breath of a kiss.
"Anywhere. Those places you listed are great. We could go to Cape Cod. Or Hawaii and have a hut on the beach. We could go hiking and stay in a tent the whole time. Anywhere but here."