* * *
Lorraine shows up with ice cream and coffee and tissues. I don’t have to let her in, she still has her key. I didn’t call her yesterday. I didn’t do anything yesterday except come home and cry. Of all the people, why Sasha? It might be irrational, though I’m not sure, but it seems like I’m relieving high school all over again. Everyone is staring and laughing at me. Somehow, ten years later, this is happening again. I’ve been had. Fooled.
I’m on the floor in front of the couch wrapped in a blanket when Lorraine comes in. “What the fuck?” she asks me. I didn’t tell her much—just the gist. That Adam’s been lying and we may have broken up. Even though we hadn’t had the conversation about whether or not we were officially together. But we were. I know we were.
She hands me the coffee and disappears to put the ice cream in the freezer before kicking off her shoes and plopping down next to me. “Spill.”
And that’s all it takes to get me crying again. Somehow I manage to get it all out. The coffee does make me feel better, and I manage to stem the tears by the time I fill her in on everything that he said. “Do I believe him?”
I’m actually asking.
Lor takes a sip of her coffee, and I recognize the deep in thought look on her face. “First, he’s an asshole for lying to you.”
“Yes.”
“Second, he’s a particular kind of asshole for lying about Sasha Pratt.”
“Yes.”
She clears her throat. “But, you never knew the Carlisles in high school. I did. There were get-togethers with the sports teams and the cheerleaders at their house sometimes. And I know that Mr. Carlisle is a fucking piece of work. He’s a heartless workaholic who would do absolutely anything to advance his career. Or his son’s. So the idea that he would tell Adam to date her for that reason makes absolute sense.”
“Yeah,” I say, “I got a sense of his piece of work when he showed up.”
“And didn’t you say that Adam told you the whole reason Sasha pulled that stunt at prom was because he turned her down?”
I nod.
“I know that it happens and people change their minds,” she says, “but I think I believe him when he says that they’re not really together.”
“Why?”
“Because, like I said at the reunion, people like Sasha don’t change. And if she’s creating a fake baby, it’s clear that her particular brand of crazy hasn’t exactly disappeared in the last ten years.”
“Yeah.” I let my head fall back against the couch. “I don’t know what to do. Why does it feel like this?”
“Like what?”
I huff a laugh. “Like my chest is cracking open and everything is leaking out onto the floor.”
“Oh, that.” She toasts me with her coffee. “That’s because you’re in love with him.”
“What?” I’m frozen.
“Seriously?” Lor asks. “You can’t be surprised by this.”
I shake my head. “I’m not in love with Adam.”
“If you weren’t,” she says, “then this would hurt less. You would get over the pain and move on if it were just a fling. But you’re not going to be over this tomorrow.”
That feeling when we were playing in the water. That’s what it was. I thought I might be falling, but I missed the fact that I was already there. “What do I do, Lor?”
“I don’t know.”
“That’s not your real answer.”
She sighs. “It sucks, what he did, and he was a real dick not to tell you, but I also can see why. Like, if I’d gone into a career that took seven years of school, I’d want to protect it. And Sasha…is a force of nature. She’s crazy, she’s rich, and apparently she’s got it in her head that Adam is hers. I think he’s right to be afraid of her.”
I nod, taking another sip of coffee and throwing the blanket off my legs. “That still doesn’t tell me what to do.”
“I’m not going to tell you what to do.”
“Why not?” I whine.
She rolls her eyes. “Because I’m not your mother. But I do have an idea, and you can decide.”
“Hit me.”
“He invited you to that party tomorrow, right?”
I wave a hand. “Yeah, it’s at his parents’ house.”
“So go.”
“Are you serious? That’s insane.”
“It’s not.” She’s got her game face on. “You know he’s going to be there. If you decide that you can forgive him, you can talk to him and show him that you can handle being with the type of crowd that his family hangs out with. If you want revenge, you can tell everyone at the party what he did.”
That thought makes me sick to my stomach. “That would be like pulling a prom night on him. I don’t think I could do that.”
“Well, then maybe you going can give him the opportunity to get out from under Sasha, even if you guys don’t end up together.”
“I don’t know.”
Lor grins. “I’ll crash with you. I’ve still got some great dresses for us. Backups from the reunion.”
I look at her. “You’re not going to stop until I say I’m going to go, are you?”
“Nope.”
“Fine.”
She’s right. This is a good solution for now. All I have to do is figure out what I want to do before tomorrow night.
24
Ollie
“This is a stupid idea.”
Lor laughs. “This is a brilliant idea and we look fabulous.”
No matter if Lor has worked her magic—and she has by putting me in an emerald green dress that women would kill for—it’s still a stupid idea. I’m more nervous about this than I was about walking into the reunion. I suppose that’s because there was a chance of being tortured at the reunion, and when I walk into this party, there’s an almost absolute chance of some kind of scene.
Adam had already given me the address to his parents’ sprawling brownstone on the Upper East Side, and now I’m standing outside hyperventilating. Lorraine grabs my arm. “We can’t just stand outside in these clothes. We need to go in. It will be fine. Breathe.”
We go up the steps together and the door opens. The butler doesn’t ask to see an invitation, this isn’t that kind of party. Thanks to Lor’s brilliant work, our clothes are all the invitation we need. “I’ll be at the bar, waiting. If you need a drink, come find me.”
“I will definitely need a drink,” I mutter under my breath, but she’s already gone.
My plan is to find Adam first. I want to hear it from him again that it’s not true, that Sasha isn’t pregnant and that they’re not together. I want him to look me in the eyes and tell me the truth, again. Then we can talk about dealing with Sasha. I move as quickly as I can through the rooms—I need to find him quickly before someone realizes that I’m really not supposed to be here.
I make it once around the party and am starting my second circuit when I hear a voice to my right. Loud, brassy, and completely recognizable. “What the hell are you doing here?”
Sasha.
I turn, and give her the least antagonizing smile I can. “I need to speak to Adam. Have you seen him?”
“Of course I have,” she says loudly, drawing the eyes of those around us. “He’s my boyfriend. And the father of my child. I’m not going to tell you where he is, you stalker.”
I jerk back. “What?”
“You’ve been stalking him for ten years. You wanted him in high school, and ever since that reunion you’ve been following him everywhere. To his job, even to his family’s house on the island. It’s sad, Olivia. You need to stop. You’re dangerous, and you disgust me.”
I close my eyes, fighting flashbacks of Sasha playing the victim at prom and everyone chanting cheater. I keep my voice calm and level—there’s no way getting upset is going to help me in this situation. “Sasha, I’m not stalking Adam, he invited me. I just need to speak with him for five minutes, and I’ll be on my way.”
People are staring now,
some starting to move in, drawn to the conflict like a flame. I flex my hands, trying to calm my nerves. Where is Adam?
Sasha looks around and sees the people that are watching us. Suddenly, she flinches away from me, taking several large steps back, cradling her stomach protectively. “You stay away from me, Olivia! Please, don’t hurt me or my baby. You need help, and we’ll get you some. We know you used to hurt yourself and that you’re upset but please don’t hurt me!”
My jaw drops. “What on earth are you talking about? Why would I ever want to hurt you?”