Our Love Story

“My values?” Mason asks. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’ve always had relationships that meant something to you. You have never been someone who just sleeps around with whomever––”

“Chloe is not whoever,” Ethan says, his words icy.

“Who is she then?” Amy asks. “She’s just some girl you met on vacation and she’s been hanging out with you ever since like she’s in it for a free ticket and some random hookups. I’m just watching you right now, Mason, and I know you’re gonna get heartbroken. You think you love a girl like that? Not possible.”

Not realizing how upset she’s made everyone in the kitchen, she reaches for coffee and makes herself a cup. Pulling it to her lips she shrugs. “It’s your life. I’m just here to change your bandages. So, Mason, whenever you’re ready I’ll be waiting for you.” With that Amy leaves the room, and Drew gives a low whistle.

“Look, I’m here for Black Bull, nothing else.” He twirls his fingers a circle at the five of us. “But I’ve got to say, I did not expect this trip to be so entertaining.”

“It’s not entertaining,” Mason yells. “It’s our lives. Understood?”

Drew raises his hand, declaring a truce. “Understood. I’ll see you motherfuckers on the beach then.” He leaves the room and the rest of us stand there staring at one another.

I don’t know how to feel right now, but I certainly know I don’t feel good. Maybe some girls would break down and cry after hearing Amy’s words, but I’m not most girls.

I grew up in foster care, with my guard up and my fists clenched. I had to. Survival was the only choice. Crying in front of people who were hell-bent on hurting me wouldn’t have gotten me very far.

Still, Amy asked what we are, and none of us answered plainly. We got scared and hid behind the truth. If that’s what happens when push comes to shove, what is this? What are we so terrified of?

The bigger question is, can this kind of love survive in the real world?Chapter 34ChloeWith Amy and Drew gone, it’s just the five of us. And while the mere sight of them usually calms me, right now, I feel uneasy.

I need space.

“I’m gonna shower then head out for a few hours. I’ll find you on the beach later, okay?”

“Are you sure, Chloe?” Noah asks, reaching for my hand.

“I’m sure. Everything feels really complicated right now and I need a chance to clear my head.”

“It doesn’t have to be complicated, Chloe,” Mason says.

I shake my head. “Oh yeah, then why are you pretending we aren’t what we are? Why are we all walking on tiptoes?”

“Maybe because not only are we in a new relationship, but we’re in an entirely new kind of relationship?” Ethan suggests.

“Maybe,” I tell him. “But I don’t know if I can keep pretending. I spent my life in the shadows, and with you four, for the first time in my life, I feel seen. But then, just as quickly, I feel like I have to hide again.”

“Let me talk to Amy…” Mason starts.

“No,” I tell him. “I don’t think any of you should be focusing on this today. It’s ExSports. You’ve waited your whole lives for this.”

“We’ve waited our lives for you, Bella,” Enzo says.

“I know. I’ve waited that long for you, too.” Then I shake my head. “But I need some space, okay? I’ll see you on the beach. Will you be all right getting there with Amy?” I ask Mason.

He nods, his eyes sad as I turn to leave. Before I go, I tell them, “I love you, all of you. You know that right?”

“We know,” Noah tells me. “I just wish you’d stay and talk this out.”

I bite my bottom lip, my instincts telling me to run. Fast. This is getting real and hard and I feel over my head in a million different ways.

“Don’t go upset, Chloe,” Enzo says. “Let’s get through this, together.”

“I don’t know how, I just...”

“You can’t retreat when it gets hard though, Chloe.”

I feel tears surfacing, and I shake my head. “It’s all I know how to do.” Then I rush out of the room, not caring one single lick if my ass is hanging out for Amy to see. I get in the shower, trying to steady myself.

I know deep in my heart that they do love me.

But I can’t help but wonder if love is enough.* * *I sit on the beach drinking coffee in peace trying to understand what has my emotions so tangled at the moment. Of course, managing all these relationships requires a different sort of dedication than other kinds of commitments, but my connection to each of them is so real, that doesn’t really feel like the issue. My heart feels big enough to love each of them fully.