Our Love Story

But she’s wrong about that. I’ve always been comfortable with attention, but that doesn’t mean I never thought I deserved it. At the end of the day, my greatest fear is that I am nothing more than a joke and a good fuck.

And now, Chloe needs me to be so much more.

I don’t know if I can be the man she deserves; the man she needs to be able to depend on. Because now it’s not just us against the world.

Now there is a child.

Sitting out here now with her, the blazing fire, the ocean waves in the distance crashing on the salty sand, I can’t help but wonder how a baby fits in.

What if the baby was born, here, right now? Would one of us be on daddy duty, changing diapers and getting bottles? While everyone else was having fun? I guess so, and maybe it sounds selfish to say I’m not ready to give all that up, but I don’t know if I am.

Is it selfish to be honest?

Mason? Shit, right now he’s sitting here talking about by a crib. Strollers. Car seats. Enzo is onboard too, but I can tell Ethan is struggling to process all this too. I wish we were on the same page here … but we are clearly divided.

With every word Mason says, I see Chloe retreat a little bit more. Finally, I have to ask, as she sits there with a blanket is wrapped around her shoulders and I gaze at her from across the campfire, her eyes dancing with the fire in them.

“So, you want to talk about what happened at the doctors today?” I ask. The flame between us helps me say what I must, without the pressure of looking someone directly in the eye.

“Yeah,” she says. “I did. Truth is, I’m not sure I’m ready for this. Feels like we jumped about a hundred steps. Me, a mother? I just ... I don’t know if it’s for me. I never imagined myself...”

She stops talking, clearly flustered. Enzo, who is always there, always giving, wraps an arm around her shoulder. A hero in this moment of the story. And I’m grateful as fuck that he’s there for her right now. There for her in ways I’m not. I don’t know how to step up and be a father. Hell, I’m just figuring out how to be a man. Chloe needs the best.

Is that really me? Would she be better off without me at all?

Dammit, I don’t even want to think about it.

I love this woman with all that I am. I need her, but does she really need me?

Chloe tells us more about her conversation with Dr. Brown. About her insecurity that she’s not cut out for this job: motherhood. How she never asked for it and is scared. “More than anything, I’m terrified that I’m going to end up just like my mother. Running from the very thing that makes life worth living. A family.”

“Chloe, her story doesn’t have to be yours,” Mason says adamantly. “I see where you are coming from, but she isn’t you.”

“I know, Mason. But that’s what you want to believe. Here’s the truth, I don’t know the first thing about being a mom.

“Chloe,” Enzo says evenly. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him call Chloe by her first name. “None of us know how to do this. But that’s the beauty of it. We can figure it out together.”

His words must be some sort of balm to her heart because next thing I know, Chloe has wrapped herself around Enzo, straddling him on that wooden log, and kissing his mouth with pure and utter devotion.

I adjust myself. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t horny as fuck watching them. As he peels back Chloe’s sweater, he kisses her collarbone and his hand moves under the tank top she wears. I watch as he cups her breasts, a move he’s mastered quite well. I don’t begrudge him this time with her, but damn, this view is making my cock hungry as hell.

I stand, wanting to give them privacy, knowing Chloe should feel like the goddess she is tonight and knowing my mood is only going to bring the group down. Ethan, though, stands too. His face is withdrawn and a cloud of dark energy surrounds him. I knew he was taking this change hard … but now I see it is even more than that.

I don’t know if we are going to survive this change, even if we want to. Fuck, my head is a mess, my heart wants one thing, but my mind is saying something else.

I stand to go, not in a mean way, but in an I-know-that-I-need-to-get-my-head-on-straight way. Hell, my parents are coming in a few days and I’m nothing but a mother fucking roller coaster of emotions.