“You okay?” Carter asks me for the second time tonight. This time his voice is rougher, eyes dark with what’s left of our kiss.
I am okay. I’m more than okay. But I don’t have the words to tell him that. Instead, I choose action. I press my lips against his again, tangling my tongue with his. Carter groans, pulling me with him down the hall to another door. He pushes it open and we stumble through, barely managing to stay upright, each unwilling to let go.
This room is empty and utterly dark as he kicks the door closed behind us. The air suddenly feels charged, like the energy we’re sending back and forth to each other is filling up the space around us. Carter pulls me against him and we fall onto the bed together.
Every closeted desire I’ve had comes racing to the surface, and I can’t get enough. I have my hands in his hair and I love the way he moves his mouth to my neck, sucking at my skin. His lips feel like fire, sending burning pulses through me that echo all around and land between my legs. I’ve never been so close to someone like this and every touch feels bigger than it is. Carter’s hands are under my shirt, and my body arches into his touch, wanting to go faster, further. I’ve already gotten rid of Carter’s shirt, and my hands explore his body. I was right—it’s perfect, and I’m annoyed that it’s so dark in here and I can’t see what must be practically a work of art.
Carter’s body presses me into the bed, and I can feel him lined up with me at every point—chest, hips, legs. Just like on the dance floor, he’s hard. I smile through our kiss, because I’m not running away from it. I like having this kind of power.
His hips press into mine, and my body moves in response, legs moving apart. He moves again, and the hardness of him presses against me...there. I gasp into his mouth because it feels like something just exploded. I’ve been here before but not like this. This is something more. Every time his hips push into me, that unnamable pleasure builds a little more. I didn’t know it could feel this good even with our clothes still between us.
Carter’s fingers stroke across my ribs, trailing across my stomach to the top of my jeans. Oh. I want him to touch me, I want him to go further, not to stop. He doesn’t. His hand slips under the fabric of my panties, and god—the feeling is pure heaven. I’ve never had anyone touch me there but myself and it’s SO much better.
I touch him, reaching for his belt and fumbling in the dark. He’s so hard, even through the fabric, and I can tell he’s big. Oh god, could that even fit inside me? What if it hurts too much? Am I really going to do this? Carter makes a low sound as my fingers rub over him, so I do it again. I manage to get his belt open, but no further, because suddenly his fingers are there.
He’s stroking around me, every touch on my clit feels like lightning.
There’s a smile in his words. “You’re wet. I guess you did want to be part of the action.”
His finger slips inside me, and I freeze, all thoughts of a witty comeback gone. I’ve never had anything but a tampon inside me—I’ve always been too afraid to do it myself. It feels strange and amazing. Carter stops, noticing how I froze up, and I force myself to relax. I pull his head to mine and kiss him. I want him to keep going, I want to see how this feels.
He eases his finger in and out, slowly dragging it against me, and my body is shuddering with the new sensation. It doesn’t hurt at all. I thought it might. But then, his finger isn’t that big. Carter curls his finger up, and strokes the inside of me, and I gasp. It’s like he’s touched directly on a pleasure nerve and it drags a moan out of me.
He chuckles, low and sexy, and just that sound turns me on even more. “G marks the spot.”
Oooh. Through the haze of him teasing me I remember reading about the G-spot. Where has that been all my life? Carter’s lips are on my neck, and he’s working me a little faster, my hips lifting to meet his hand. No one has ever given me an orgasm before, and there’s another rush of wetness at the thought.
I reach for him again, this time getting his belt open, then his pants, and I can feel the heat of him. Oh god, I’m really going to do this. Nervous energy and adrenaline fill my stomach. It feels like when you’re about to do something you can’t wait for, but at the same time, you’re terrified, like bungee jumping. And then there’s the pulses of pleasure from his clever fingers, one still stroking inside me while his thumb is on my clit.
“Carter,” I say, arching up into him.
“Yeah.” His voice is rough.
I’m about to tell him that there are too many clothes between us, that I want him to keep going. But laughter from outside the door filters through, and it’s like a bucket of ice water has been dumped on my head. It’s Kara. Her voice is muffled. “I’ll be right back, I just want to see if she’s in the bathroom.”
Kara is looking for me. If she walks in here and sees me about to have sex with Carter, she’ll be...either furious enough to kill me or heartbroken. I’m not sure which one would be worse. I push up on Carter’s chest. “Wait.”
He freezes instantly, breaking our kiss.
“I can’t do this.”
In the dim light coming from under the door, I can see the barest hint of his features, and they look confused. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I thought you wanted—”
“I did,” I say quickly. “I do...I just can’t.”
He’s still over me, close enough that our breath mingles as he speaks. “I don’t understand. What’s wrong?”
I bite my lip. I should tell him—get it over with. He’ll laugh, and leave, and then it will all be over. “I’m a virgin.”
I hear him suck in a breath. Slowly, carefully, he kisses me. Even though this kiss is soft, it’s filled with heat. It makes my toes curl and my stomach drop in a dizzy free fall. “If you think that would make me want you less,” he says, pulling back, “you’re very wrong.”
“Really?”
His voice is ragged. “If anything, I want you more.”
He thrusts against me, showing me exactly how hard he is through his clothes. God, I want to feel that without any barriers. The rational part of my brain is quickly losing the battle with the part of my brain that wants to rip off the rest of his clothes and pounce. But I can’t. I can’t do that to Kara. Not like this.
“My friend is waiting for me. If she finds us like this...it’s a long story.” I sit up, and he lets me go. I refasten my jeans and straighten my shirt. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” he says, leaning in to kiss the side of my neck. “But please, let me see you again.”
I know he can’t see me smile in the dark, but I do anyway. “School starts in two weeks. Maybe fate will throw us together again.”
“I’m sure it will,” Carter says, almost like he’s amused by the idea. “It was very nice to meet you, April.”
“You too.” I don’t look back at him as I open the door and leave. If I do, if I see him shirtless and tousled on the bed, my already crumbling willpower will be nothing more than dust.
Luckily for me, Kara isn’t in the hallway. I slip back down the stairs and blend back into the party before someone can spot me coming from a bedroom. I find Kara in the kitchen grabbing a handful of chips. “Hey!” she says when she sees me. “I was looking for you.”
“Backyard,” I say. “I was getting some air.”
“You want to get out of here?”
“Yes please.” I take her arm and guide her toward the front door. Never have words been more welcome. I don’t want to see Carter again and face what is almost certainly disappointment in his eyes. I just want to leave.
I came to this party to keep an eye on Kara. Turns out, she was the one who needed to keep an eye on me.
4
Two Weeks Later
I release a breath as I walk out into the bright Georgia sun. It’s August and the heat is stifling. The sound of cicadas is a welcome change from the almost deadly silence of the library. I don’t know why I was anxious about my first class, but I was. I mean, school is school, but something about college is different and daunting. It turns out, I didn’t have anything to worry about. The class was fine. Introduction to Library Science. I’m not sure it will be the most exciting of my classes, but I’m happy just the same.