“Something like that,” I admitted. “I’m handing in my resignation next week.”
She sucked in a breath. “What? You can’t.”
“I’m pregnant.”
“Holy shit, Alyssa. Pregnant?”
I nodded. “I need to take care of myself. I need to take care of the baby. Working for hours on end in skyscraper heels isn’t good for me. I’ll miss you and the others.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” My friend reached across the table and grabbed my hands. “I truly understand your decision, and I’ll support you every way I can. Does Shane know?”
I shook my head.
“It’s none of my business, but you have to tell him. We both know what it’s like not to have a dad. I still sometimes look at men of a certain age and wonder if they could be my father. The reason you clung to Johnny was that he was the father you never had. Don’t do that to your baby.”
“I won’t.” I sniffed back my tears. “But Shane is going to think I got pregnant on purpose. He thinks all strippers are after a baby daddy. His dad left his mom for a stripper who got pregnant.”
“Let him think what he wants. I have your back, and I know Rachel will too. We’ll kick him into next week if he dares give you a hard time.”
I nodded, fighting back tears and so grateful for my friends.***
The next day when I went to work, Shane summoned me into the office. He’d never been in during the day shift before, and I was sure his being here had something to do with me slapping Naomi. Something I truly regretted.
I went to his office with my hands clamped over my stomach. It was still way too early to notice, but because he knew my body so intimately, I was afraid he would.
There was no welcoming smile on his face when he saw me.
“Sit,” he ordered.
“I’d rather stand.”
He nodded as if to say, suit yourself.
“Naomi filed a report. She said you slapped her. Did you? Since that area is a camera blind spot, I can’t see what happened.”
“She was a rude bitch, so I put her in her place.”
“Want to tell me what she said?
“Not particularly.”
“Then…I don’t want to do this, but I have to suspend you. I’m sorry, Alyssa. We can’t have the staff hitting one another.”
I shrugged like I didn’t give a shit. “I was resigning anyway. I was going to wait until next week, but please accept my resignation effective immediately.”
He moved from behind his desk until he stood in front of me. The scent of his cologne wrapped around me like a hug, and I desperately wanted to fall into his arms.
“You can’t resign. I won’t allow you to.”
I balked and stepped back. “You won’t allow me to? Here’s something you may not know, Shane, but you don’t own me and can’t tell me what to do or when to do it.”
“Come out to dinner with me tonight.” Desperation tinted his voice and filled his eyes. “Tell me why you’re really leaving. Is it because of me? Because of us?”
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him the truth, but the words stuck in my throat. I shook my head. “Not everything is about you. The feelings I had for you are long gone. Goodbye, Shane. Maybe I’ll see you around.”
Before I fell into a sobbing heap, I spun around and left The Bachelor for good.Chapter Twelve - ShaneI was a fucking coward, and now Alyssa wanted nothing to do with me. I wanted nothing to do with me, either.
I needed a drink. I never drank while on the job but screw that. I went to the bar and poured myself a double shot of bourbon and shot it back. Then I shot back another and another and another. By the end of the night, I didn’t want to know my name.
I grabbed the bottle and sat at the bar. Rachel had taken over Alyssa’s slots. While she was good, she was no Red Velvet.
The guys would blame me for losing her, but now that she no longer worked for us, it meant we could be a couple. But she’d made her feelings about me clear. She couldn’t stand the sight of me.
I shot back glass after glass after glass, the world getting blurrier by the minute. I usually never sought answers at the bottom of the bottle, but I needed the numbing comfort alcohol gave.
Like time had sped up, the clock struck three, and the club had emptied with only a few dancers hanging around.
Candy sat down beside me and shook the empty bottle. “Looks like you had quite the pity party.”
“I’m not done yet,” I slurred.
“Dude, you know she loves you, right? From the way you’re acting, you love her too.”
I turned to face her, doing my best to focus my rolling eyes. “She made it clear when she left that she hates me. I don’t deserve her.”