"You're pregnant?" My smile couldn't be broader as Jessie's cheeks flush.
Ryan shakes his head. "You see that? She still gets embarrassed to tell people. She thinks that everyone imagines us having sex."
I snort with laughter as I lead them to the large comfortable couches that Nicole picked out last fall. She asked me if we could make the space just a little less like a bachelor pad, and of course, I said yes. To be honest, I couldn't care less about what is in this home, as long as Nicole is here.
We slump into the seats, as Jessie pulls her hair into a messy bun. "I think Jessie must have a dirty mind," I say. "Maybe she always thinks about people having sex whenever she meets a pregnant woman."
Ryan rests his hand on her knee. "That's my girl," he smiles.
We hear laughter getting louder as Nicole and Abbey descend the stairs. My beautiful wife is carrying a giant stuffed rabbit that obstructs most of her torso. "Look, Mommy," Abbey shouts. "It's called Fluffy."
"Oh, wow, sweetie," Jessie says, turning to where her daughter is beaming brightly. "Hey, Nicky."
She stands, and the cousins come face to face. I see the moment Nicole notices Jessie's belly. Her eyes flick to mine to confirm, and I nod. Nicole lowers the bunny and rests her hand on her own rounded belly. "Looks like we've both been up to no good." she smiles.
The cousins laugh in unison, hugging tightly in the way that family who truly love each other react. They look uncomfortable only because their bellies obstruct the hug, making their butts stick out. Ryan stands and reaches out to shake my hand again. "Well done, Aaron," he says. "Well done."
Nicole disentangles from Jessie’s arms and looks at her cousin-in-law. "What do you mean, ‘Well done, Aaron’? His involvement in this process was pretty short-lived."
"Really?" Jessie wiggles her eyebrows, and we all laugh.
"I'd prefer it if you'd say my involvement was epically memorable," I say.
"Well of course it was, darling." I love it when Nicole calls me that. With her clipped British accent, she sounds like an extra from a British period drama.
"Was it me, or did that sound patronizing?" I roll my eyes but smile broadly as Nicole rests her hand on her belly. I can't tell you what it does to me to see her like this, to know that she's carrying my child inside her. A small shiver of worry passes through me, but I shake my head to shift it. Nicole is fine. Her heart is strong. The doctors have no concerns. I can tell myself all of that but knowing about Nicole’s heart defect will mean that I will always have an extra level of worry about her health, especially now her body is under additional pressure.
Abbey drops Fluffy onto her father's knee and tells him to kiss her toy. Ryan does without hesitation. He's certainly a man who's used to being a father to a demanding little girl.
"Sean is making the most delicious meal for us," Nicole tells her cousin. "Are you hungry? I'll tell him to bring it up."
"Sure," Jessie says. "I could eat."
"She can always eat," Ryan says. "I swear that baby is really a giant tapeworm."
Jessie screws up her pretty face. "So gross."
"Mommy has a worm inside her?" Abbey says, bringing her hands up to press against her small round cheeks in shock.
"No, I don't," Jessie says. "Daddy's just being silly."
Abbey swats Ryan's knee as though she's scolding a naughty toddler. "Daddy…you told a lie."
Ryan lifts the giant rabbit into the air. "It was a joke, sweetie," he says. "Here, catch."
Abbey grabs hold of Fluffy. "Bunnies don't fly," she says.
"I hope you're getting ready for this," Ryan says. "Girls don't turn into women. They're born women, just in smaller bodies."
Everyone laughs with genuine warmth, and I'm filled with relaxed happiness from the inside out. There was a time when I didn't believe that I'd ever feel this way. There was a time when I could clearly see the emptiness of my life stretching before me like a dusty road to nowhere. There was no capacity for trust in my heart, no belief that I'd ever be capable of letting someone in again.
But then I met Nicole.
I watch my wife call down to Sean and ask him to bring food for our guests. She's reluctantly gotten used to having some help around the house. More so since she's been tired during the pregnancy. With only two more months to go until we temporarily relocate to England, things have changed a lot. Her mind is on the move.
We spent much of the beginning of our relationship bridging the Atlantic to come together. I didn't want her to give up her life for something that I couldn't guarantee. We trod so carefully around each other's feelings, and it worked.