"Not really. It's just…weird." She gazes down at herself, eyes misted with the same kind of awe I'm feeling right now. "Bean…settle down. It's bedtime."
"Bean liked the massage you just gave him."
"Bean might not be a him," she smiles.
"Bean, your mom made me eat toad tonight. It was actually good." Nicole's belly shifts as she laughs silently. "I think she might make you eat toad too one day. You better be ready for it."
"Bean's eating toad right now and loving it. It's probably why it's moving around so much."
"You'll have to forgive your momma for calling you 'it'," I say. "She has no faith in my instinct that you're going to be a boy."
"Aaron Harrington the third," Nicole scoffs. The naming tradition is yet another thing that doesn't translate well across the pond.
"It's a good strong name," I say with a smile.
"And I love it on you, but not for our son."
"We'll offend my father," I say.
"Your father isn't going to have to squeeze out something with the head the size of a small melon in two months’ time. And my father's name isn't an option!"
"Yeah, Harry Harrington is just as bad."
I place my hand over her warm skin and feel the soft kick of our unborn baby, a miracle like nothing I've ever known. "So, do you have a name in mind?" I ask. We've spent hours joking around all the options, and she knows I don't really have strong feelings about carrying on my name. There is something uncomfortable about always being in the shadow of your father, about never fully owning your identity.
"How about Alexander?" I can hear a new tone in her voice, a lightness that sounds hopeful.
"I love Alexander," I say.
"And Alexis, if it's a girl?"
"Alex Harrington," I say, rolling the idea of a chestnut-haired boy or girl running toward me when I call out that name in my mind. It works. It works really well.
"I think you might have cracked it," I say, kissing her belly. A little body-part hits my lips through Nicole's skin and flesh. "And I think Bean approves."
Her fingers run through my hair, soothing my scalp, and my thoughts. "I can't believe that Jessie and Ryan are having another baby at the same time as us. They'll grow up together as best friends. It'll be amazing."
"It will be."
"Ryan looks good, doesn't he?" Nicole slides down in the bed until she's face to face with me. I can see the hope in her eyes. I know how much she worries about Jessie. Her cousin already lost one husband. Losing the father of her children would be…I can't even think of how to articulate the tragedy."
"He looks great. He's got a lot of love there, and they're making the most of every day. That's just about all any of us can do. And I may have something developing at work."
Nicole’s eyes widen. “A new drug?”
“They’re working on something but it’s still very early stages. Don’t say anything to Jessie or Ryan. You know what it’s like. So many drugs fail during trials.”
“I know. That’s good, though. It could be good, couldn’t it?”
I nod, loving the optimism my wife exudes. I kiss her sweet lips, tasting the mouthwash she uses, and breathing in her face cream. Everything about her is home. Her hand slides over my arm, down my back until it rests on my ass. She pulls me closer, but her belly is in the way.
It's not so easy to make love these days. I miss seeing her face as she comes, but making her come is still just about the best thing I can do in a day. "Roll over, baby," I say softly in between kisses.
She does as I ask, and I pull her sweet round ass toward me. It doesn't take much to push off her panties. My fingers find her slick and ready, but I'm not in a hurry. Her clit is hot and hard, swelling under my finger as I stroke her slowly. "Does that feel good?" I ask her.
"Yeah," she gasps, "Don't stop."
I know I can make her come like this. Her hips writhe with anticipation, and her breath is expelled in short, sharp pants. I don't want to, though. I want to feel her pleasure from the inside. Adjusting the angle of her hips, I push inside her, the tightness of her pussy, making me grit my teeth. Damn, she feels so good.
"Oh…" she moans. Her hand grasps behind her, gripping my ass and forcing me to move harder and deeper. I'll do anything she wants to make her feel good. She grinds against my finger, another moan escaping her lips as her pussy begins to contract around my cock. Damn, it feels good.
I kiss her neck and tell her she's beautiful. I wrap my arm around her, pulling her as close to me as I can, and when I come, it's so much more than physical release. It's a sealing of our love, a recognition that this woman is all of my hopes and dreams, the bearer of my future.