Magical Midlife Madness (Leveling Up 1)

“Leave,” Austin said, the command in his tone sending a shock through my body.

My stomach rolled. I groaned. “Why?” I asked no one in particular. “Why didn’t I leave the first couple times I said I should go? Why?”

“But Austin Steele, she’s my charge. I will—”

“Go!” he barked.

I sat down on the grass of someone else’s property. I crawled to the side so I was in the weeds and off their lawn. “I’m too old for this.”

“It’s my fault.” Austin knelt beside me. “You’re right. If I’d let things be, you’d be home by now, throwing up in peace.”

“This is true.”

“But I’m selfishly glad I kept you out. I’ve never had that much fun in an almost altercation in my life. You single-handedly scared those boys crazy. I’ve never had that effect.”

“Bully for you. Did Mr. Tom leave?”

“Yes.”

I shook my head. “Why do people always use your whole name?”

He sighed and looked up at the sky. He sat down next to me. “It’s a show of respect. I don’t expect you to understand this, but they aren’t my pack so they can’t technically call me alpha. But they respect me as such, and thus they use my whole name.”

“You’re right, I do not understand that. I am not going to call you by your full name, I’ll tell you that right now. The lot of you are crazy. I’m not climbing aboard that train.”

“And yet, you just debated on the merits of slitting a perfect stranger from neck to navel versus navel to neck, and decided on stabbing and ripping any way you chose.”

“Yeah. That’s just logic. Besides, we were in a battle.”

“Ah.”

“I guess I shouldn’t lie down right here and go to sleep.”

“No.”

“Niamh can really drink. I mean…she’s twice my age. I didn’t realize what I was getting into.” I took a deep breath and swayed. I felt his hand steadying me.

“Not many do.”

“Alpha. Why would someone call you alpha? What kind of an ego trip is that? And why would someone throw rocks at their neighbor? Why would someone create a labyrinth in the back of a house to trap kids? I don’t understand this place.”

“It defies logic.”

He had that exactly right. It defied logic. But then, it was a small town. Clearly small towns had their own brand of weirdness. A big town would probably ring Austin’s bell. A person didn’t stop to confront someone in a bad part of a big town. That was a way to get you shot.

“Tomorrow is day one on the job, and I’ll be hungover,” I muttered.

His sigh was soft. “What will you do first?”

“Yell at Mr. Tom for no reason, probably.” I tried to lie down. His hand stopped my backward motion. I pushed against it. It was like pushing against concrete. I thought of some choice words I wanted to call him.

“Why do you call Earl Mr. Tom?”

I tossed up my hands. “I do not know. For some reason, he told me his name was Tom. Then he said to call him Mr. Tom.”

“And you did?”

“He pretends like he doesn’t hear me if I use Earl. It’s the only way to talk to him.”

Austin helped me up, smiling. “You know, you’re in a bubble of weirdness. We’re not all that strange.”

“Says the guy who speaks in animal behaviors.”

That wiped the smile off of his face. “What do you mean?”

“What do I mean?” I started walking and veered into a leafy bush. I slapped at it and veered back out. “All that body posturing stuff. Normal guys don’t think like that.”

“And yet, those guys understood my meaning.”

“How do you know?”

“I could tell. Guys are different from girls. We’re from Mars. You’re from Venus.”

“That is such bullcrap. I’m an Aries. I am Mars. Guys can suck it, number one. Number two, women understand guys a hundred percent more than they understand us. Do you know why that is?”

“We’re sensible?”

I stared at him. Then accidentally swayed and rammed my forehead into him. Pushing back, I shook it off and said, “Really? Sensible? You idiots just about rumbled for no reason a moment ago. You’re all—I have a penis weee.” I waved my hands around. “No, it’s because you don’t listen to women. You pretend women are these mysterious creatures. And sure, when you don’t give a crap about something, it does remain a mystery. But it wouldn’t be so hard if you’d put half the effort into learning about us as we put into trying to learn about you. It’s your negligence that creates the problems.”

“That right?”

“And another thing.” I put up my finger. Then punched him in the chest for good measure. The alcohol had turned me unnecessarily violent. It was like I was a kid again, playing WrestleMania with my brother on the living room floor.

Except that punching Austin hurt me and not him.