“You might not have been.” He curls his fingers into fists. “You went after a demon, Callie, and then took on several more. What the hell were you thinking?”
“Are you serious right now?” I toss the washcloth in the sink. “When the scrapper was running toward us, I was thinking I didn’t want to become its lunch. So yeah, I went after it, and I’m glad I did. And I’m glad I went into the woods and stopped the other scrappers from ripping three drunk kids apart.”
“You put yourself at risk,” he goes on. “You shouldn’t do that now.”
“What should I have done then? Driven off and let those kids get eaten?”
“Yes,” he tells me, blue eyes piercing into mine. If I wasn’t so angry, I’d see the fear behind them. He can’t always protect me, and I know it upsets him more than he’ll ever admit.
“Seriously? You don’t mean that.”
“I do! You are my wife and are carrying our child and if anything happens to either one of you—”
“So, what? I’m just a human incubator now? And I’m not even that because I’m only half human! I can take care of myself and I’ve done a good job so far. Fine, an okay job. Things have gotten a little dicey a time or two.”
“Callie,” Lucas says, brows pinching together. “I know you are more than capable of doing just about anything. You are strong and brave and care more for strangers than some do for their own families. But just because you can fight demons doesn’t mean you have to. Not right now.” He pulls me to him and rests his hand over my stomach. “We made something no less than amazing together, and I will do whatever it takes to keep you both safe. And part of that is telling you I don’t want you fighting demons while you’re pregnant.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. He’s right, and the fact that my life isn’t the only one on the line terrifies me too. “What if I get attacked? Should I just throw my hands up and hope they’ve seen the Pirates movies and know what parlay means?”
“What?”
“You’ve never seen—never mind.” I close my eyes and let out a breath. “And I agree. Fighting demons is dangerous and I get the shit kicked out of me more often than I’d like. I won’t go looking for trouble, but I can’t ignore it if it’s in front of me, and you can’t ask me to do that. It’s not fair.”
“You’re right, and I’m sorry.” He smooths my hair back and pulls me into his arms once more. “I’m scared, Callie,” he admits. “I love you more than I ever thought possible. The thought of something bad happening to you terrifies me more than anything. I want to protect you from everything bad in this world. I want to keep you safe and make you happy, and I know we both want the same for our child.”
“I know you do, and I love you so much for it.” My eyes fall shut and I rest my head against Lucas’s firm chest. “I can’t stand by and watch demons attack someone. It’s not who I am.”
“I’m not asking you to be someone you’re not. Who you are is beautiful, Callie. You’re not someone who can sit idly by or look the other way, and it’s just one of the things I love about you. But you can’t blame me for worrying. A lot is on the line right now.”
“You’re right, and I worry as much as you. I don’t want to do something and have it be my fault that I lost…” I can’t bring myself to say it. “It’s weird, being responsible for someone else’s life like this.”
“I can imagine it would be.” He picks me up and carries me into the bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed with me in his lap.
“I wish you were pregnant instead of me,” I sigh.
“I don’t, and I don’t want to think about it.” Lucas shudders. “It’s a disturbing thought.”
My eyes are filling with tears again, but this time I don’t try to blink them away. “Being pregnant is weird.”
“Do you not want to be pregnant?” he asks slowly.
“I do,” I assure him. “I want to have our baby. I want us to have the family we never thought we’d have. I don’t like having the responsibility of keeping this baby safe inside my uterus, though.” I blink and get a flash of Lucifer standing in Abby’s foyer. The smell of her blood was so strong, and the memory of it brings a wave of nausea over me. I slowly inhale, breathing in the scent of my room to remind myself I’m not there, not in the foyer.
The scent of my lavender laundry detergent lightly lingers on my sheets, and I can smell the sweet lemongrass candle on my dresser. It was too pretty to actually burn, and the light scent it gives off is perfect. I didn’t notice it much before, so I guess what they say about your sense of smell getting more sensitive during pregnancy is true.