Lucifer holds up a finger. “It doesn’t work that way. True, Callie can lead Hell since she’s half archangel, but there’s a caveat to the whole ruler of Hell thing.”
“What is it?” I ask after a few seconds of silence pass by.
“You have to willingly accept the role. You can’t be kidnapped and forced to rule Hell.” He flags down another waitress and orders three more drinks.
“But…that’s…that’s what the demons have been scheming,” I say. “And I’d never say yes.”
“There are ways to make you accept the role, of course. Blackmail… force… promises of power.” His expression softens. “Since Hell was created, demons have been trying to overthrow me and take over.” He rolls his eyes. “And since Hell was created, they haven’t succeeded. I’m not worried about Hell going under new management and you shouldn’t either,” he assures me.
“Do you want me to run Hell?” I ask, voice still thinner than I’d like.
“No. It’s not the life I want for you,” he says with surprising softness. “The power that comes with sitting on the throne of Hell is nice—at first. It’s lonely,” he tells me yet again. “Though I stand by what I said. You’d make a great ruler of all darkness.”
“I totally would,” I say with a smile that turns into a yawn. I don’t know what time it is, other than it’s freaking late. The waitress brings the next round of drinks over and Lucifer quickly downs the first one. “Can you even feel drunk?” I ask.
“Yes, though it takes quite a bit.” He holds up the second drink. “You probably have a high tolerance to alcohol as well, don’t you?”
“I do. I thought it was because I’ve used it as a coping mechanism for so long I’d just built up a tolerance,” I admit, fully knowing how unhealthy of a habit I’ve formed…and how much I want a drink right now.
“There’s nothing wrong with a little indulgence now and then,” Lucifer says and takes a big swig of the drink. “Though I will say these have gotten better since the last time I was here on earth.”
“When was the last time?” Lucas asks. “During the last World War?”
“Hah-hah,” Lucifer says dryly. “I don’t cause wars, or even hatred between two people. Humans bring that upon themselves with no help from me. I may be guilty of enjoying watching the chaos,” he tells us with a shrug. “And the last time I was on earth was about twenty-five years ago.”
“And then you were sent back to Hell?” Lucas goes on.
“Yes, brothers and sisters round me up and throw me back into the bowels of Hell, slamming the door and throwing away the key. Each time it gets a little harder to get out, but well…here I am.” He smiles. “I’ll be looking forward to the family reunion, but not yet.” He finishes his drink and slides the empty glass over by the others. With a heavy sigh, he looks at me. “Which is why Michael is right about staying away from you, and why I must go as well.”
“It’s risky,” I finish. “And could lead the others to me.”
“The same can be said for the demons,” Lucas presses. “Your demons.”
“Yes, I am responsible for creating most of them, and it might have been a lapse in judgement to award them with free will.”
“So, they don’t always listen to you?” I ask carefully, head spinning from the information overload. The waitress goes by our table, carrying a tray full of food. The smell of pickles hits me, and now I really want one.
“Like any stubborn child, no,” he says, and fear prickles along my spine. “Though you’ll find most are quite obedient, with the occasional rogue thinking they’re better.” He shakes his head with disgust.
“What do I do now?” I ask slowly. “Can I go home?”
“You mentioned a vacation, right?” Lucifer asks.
“Yes.”
“Then go. Go early. I’ll leave a trail of cosmic breadcrumbs for my brothers and sisters to follow that will lead them away from you.”
“And the demons?” Lucas puts his hand on my thigh.
“If I tell them to avoid Callie it will only draw them to her more,” he says, and Lucas nods. Lucifer downs the final drink in one gulp and stands, pulling a wad of cash from inside his suit jacket. He throws a few hundreds on the table, picks up Scarlet, and motions to the door. Scarlet wags her tail and licks Lucifer’s face. “I missed you too,” he tells her, and by the look on Lucas’s face, I take it that Lucifer is speaking Enochian, which seems to be the language Scarlet understands.
“She’s a hellhound,” I say suddenly.
Lucifer cocks and eyebrow. “You’ve just now figured that out?”
“Hah, no. But…she is. Isn’t that, well…kind of obvious?” I hate the words coming out of my mouth as I say them because I’ve grown very fond of her.