“Actually, no. I dreamed I gave birth to a kitten and somehow it made sense in the dream and we were really happy. Her name was Chloe, and she looked like a tiny version of Pandora.”
“I’ll have some questions if you give birth to a kitten.”
“Me, too.” I pull a face. “And just thinking about the claws…no, thank you.” I toss up an energy ball to light my way to the bathroom. I got super nauseous after Lucas and I had sex, maybe from moving around after eating? I have no idea. I ended up puking in the toilet again. The strong return of my symptoms was actually a little reassuring.
Abby did a quick assessment of me when we got back to the house to help ease my mind and said I seem fine and don’t need to worry unless I start spotting or have bad cramping. I didn’t lose that much blood or get my ass beaten…this time.
Yes, I stopped Ruth, but Bael is still out there, desperate to find a way out now that he knows I’m half archangel. We’d be lying if we thought I could get through this entire pregnancy without some sort of physical trauma, let alone the stress of demons being after me or someone I care about.
But that’s my life, and I wouldn’t trade my powers or angelic side for anything. It’s who I am. And it’s part of who my child will grow to be as well.
I get back into bed after using the bathroom and snuggle up with Lucas. I’m feeling sick again and just want to fall asleep.
“You should eat,” I tell him as I settle into his arms.
“I’m fine for now,” he shoots right back. “You lost blood in the woods today. You’re fine losing a little bit at a time. I’m not taking from you tonight.”
“Aren’t you hungry?”
“I’ll sleep with you—actually sleep—and will be fine when I get up tomorrow.”
“Eliza’s getting more blood, right?”
“Yes, she will have it ready and waiting when we get to Chicago tomorrow.”
“I’m excited for pizza,” I say with a laugh. “And then for you to have some of me.”
“I am, too.” He wraps me in his embrace and kisses my forehead. “Go back to sleep.” I can tell he’s tired. The lack of blood makes him require more sleep than usual.
“I will. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
I’m comfy, and now that I’m laying still, the morning sickness is starting to fade a bit. I can hear the TV on downstairs, and knowing Julian is in the living room brings me comfort. Binx and Freya are at the foot of the bed, and Pandora is doing a good job acting annoyed that Scarlet is sharing her pile of laundry on the floor but secretly likes snuggling with the pup.
Lucas is asleep only minutes later, and my mind is wandering, going back to the Covenstead. Everyone saw me as the hero when I left, and I know I can’t blame myself. Yeah, it was me who Ruth was after, but it’s not like I stole her lunch money for no reason, and she was out for revenge, hurting others who got in her way.
She was fucking insane and power hungry, and I did nothing wrong. And now the truth is out, and I have no idea if the witches that were in the gathering hall will tell anyone what they witnessed.
What they heard.
I stopped Ruth, saved Brooke, and Lucas single-handedly took out three vampires and a handful of demons, saving the students and professors at Grim Gate Academy. If anyone had doubts about trusting him before, they shouldn’t now. He’s proved time and time again his loyalties lie with me.
I should feel good, but something is nagging me. And it’s not the grief I’m not allowing myself to feel yet over the lives lost. It’s that Lucifer didn’t answer me. He always has before.
I close my eyes and bring my hands together. Lucifer, are you there? I wait a beat, and nothing happens. If you’re there, talk to me. Please. Binx gets up and plops down next to me. I cuddle him like he’s a teddy bear and eventually fall asleep.
I don’t wake up until ten a.m. I’m alone in bed, and the smell of bacon wafts up the stairs. I’m immediately hungry, but the moment I get out of bed, my stomach twists.
“Ugh,” I groan as I go to my dresser, pulling out a bra and underwear. I put on sleeper shorts and a sweatshirt from Lucas’s bar in Chicago. I don’t plan to get dressed until later tonight when we leave for the city.
“You’re up,” Lucas says, putting a plate full of pancakes on a tray. There’s already a pile of bacon, scrambled eggs, and a blueberry muffin on the tray. “I was going to bring this up to you.”