Heart hammering, I pull my hand from hers and rest it on her waist. The blankets are between my hand and her body, yet it sends a jolt through me. She moves closer again, and this time I know it was intentional. She rests her hand on top of mine and slits her eyes open, looking up at me.
“Thank you, Owen.”
“Of course,” I whisper back. Her blonde hair is a mess around her face, and I turn off the light on my phone. The storm rages around us, but Charlie is safe in my arms. Her breathing becomes slow and steady, letting me know she fell asleep.
It’s innocent and platonic, and I’m hit with the memory of holding Charlie while she slept off her first drunk experience. I’m working hard to tell myself that this doesn’t mean anything, yet I know this will be a new favorite memory of mine…even if it doesn’t lead to anything.Chapter 20CharlieOwen’s arm is still around me when I wake up. The first light of dawn is shining through the window. I can tell it’s going to be a sunny day already, vastly different from last night. The power is back on, and the air conditioner is pumping the room full of cool air. The ceiling fan is on above me now too, chilling my skin. I was hot last night and only covered up with a thin quilt. Owen stayed outside the blankets and didn’t cover up at all.
Inhaling deep, I feel Owen’s fingers press against my body. My eyes flutter shut again, and I want nothing more than to roll over and slip my arms around him. How easy it would be to fall back into his arms and ask him to never let me go.
But I can’t, because I know better. Besides, I’m not at a good point in my life to start something new…even when what we had isn’t new at all. Owen’s embrace used to be my favorite place to be. It didn’t matter where we were or what was going on around us. As long as we had each other, everything felt okay.
Carefully twisting so I can see him, I move my hand and my fingers brush over his shoulder. His skin is cold from being under the fan and not having any blankets. He’s just wearing boxers, and his messy hair and innocent face as he sleeps is making me all sorts of conflicted.
I want this.
But I shouldn’t.
It feels good when it should feel wrong.
Being here with Owen makes me feel like the years apart were just a blur and we can go back to the day we broke up and pretend it never happened.
But we can’t.
So much life happened between breaking up and where we are right now. I’ve grown and changed and messed up and made more mistakes than I can count. I’m sure Owen’s tale is no different.
Moving carefully so I don’t wake him, I reach down and pull up the thick comforter I’d discarded at the foot of the bed and pull it up, covering us both up. In his sleep, Owen slips his arm farther around me, spooning his body against mine. My heart leaps into my throat, and for some reason, tears fill my eyes.
Why the hell am I getting emotional?
Is it because Owen was sweet and kind and thoughtful and it’s making me realize how much I miss this? How I’m fairly certain I’ll never find someone else who gets me like he does? Or how he didn’t mind at all that I came over here like a crazy cat lady and set up a litter box in his pretty spotless house?
Nope. Definitely not any of those.
I nestle my head back into the pillow and rest my hand on top of Owen’s. I don’t have to get up for another few hours, and I’m going to enjoy every minute of this. Because I’m not getting into bed with Owen again.
“You awake?” Owen whispers.
I almost say yes but don’t want to ruin the moment. So instead, I respond to his voice by pretending to be asleep and snuggling a little closer. Owen exhales and slides his other arm under me, pulling me close to his chest. He rests his head against my face, lips brushing over the flesh on my cheek.
In the back of my mind, logic and reason are screaming at me. I’m in bed, all snuggled up with Owen. What. The. Hell. Am. I. Doing?
We didn’t have sex. We didn’t even kiss. He came in here to comfort me, not try to get in my pants. I’m all caught up in my emotions right now because I’m still in bed, tired and comfy, not wanting to move. But once I’m up, dressed, and dealing with some of the county’s pressing legal issues, I’ll come to my senses.